It's a little rainy here today. I know we need the rain but it would be nice to have some sunny days, too.
Steve was off to work early this morning and it was back to the normal routine getting breakfast on and all. It's weird not doing the honeymoon and just starting a normal life but this is the way it is done. One thing that was really nice was when Steve left I got a kiss goodbye and not just a hug like I used to.
I have Eric and Emmy for the day so Christie can do her work and the girls are going to do dinner tonight so I have some time to myself.
Shari sat with me after breakfast and we talked and she was interested in how I was doing. She was pretty open talking about sex and said I can expect Steve to give me a lot of attention in that way for a while. She said it was pretty normal that we would be like newlyweds for a while because we are newlyweds. She was a little late telling me a few things to expect from Steve and it was really sweet that she knows him so well. I haven't said it to her yet but it makes me feel closer to her because of what we share with Steve.
I wasn't so sure about writing about the bedroom stuff but Shari said to feel free and go ahead because it is a big part of my life right now. Okay then.
The sex has been a big thing for me because I had it the one time and it was over before I really even knew it was happening. I guess I always thought it didn't really count. The last two years I wondered what it would really be like and then a few months ago I started to really, really want everything that went with it and all. I've written about it all before and I don't want to be saying the same things again but it all really was important to me. I told some of this to Christie one night and she said to me "Girl you just need to get it over with." and I think she was right about that.
All of the things I was imagining about it and dreaming about it and fearing about it went away once it was done. Christie had said it was great once the first time was done because then she was free to just do it and she said it was liberating to be able to do it and not worry about getting pregnant or using birth control and she was right. I was really nervous with Steve on Saturday night and he was wonderful about it all. I didn't want a light on and he was okay about it and when I asked him to be slow he was. Actually being with him was so much different and better than I thought it would be. I guess I expected it would be painful and then just done and it was warm and close and loving and the most personal thing I have ever done. I really love Steve but had kept my distance in some ways and then all of a sudden I'm closer to him than with anyone else in the world. I'm just sorry he isn''t the only person to ever see me naked.
Steve made it wonderful the whole time and told me how beautiful I was and how much he loved me and he was so tender and gentle. When I asked him if he was about to (-: he said he was and he kissed me and held me tight and I could feel it happen and then everything was different after that. I didn't care if he saw me and I didn't jump a little when he touched me because it just felt so comfortable after the first time was done. Shari said I looked so peaceful on Sunday morning and I guess I feel pretty peaceful now. All the worrying I was doing is settled and over and I can just be me now. It was very special on Sunday wondering if I was a mom yet. I know it doesn't always happen so fast but it is so cool to think for the first time about the maybe. It is really awesome to think that sometime this year I will start being a mom. Dreams are so wonderful but when the dream is real it is a lot more beautiful.
I know I say a lot about being a mom maybe, but being a wife is pretty wonderful! Having all of Steve's attention is the most incredible thing in the world and feeling him loving me and wanting me and wanting a baby with me is the most powerful feeling I can imagine. Just calling it 'love' doesn't seem to be enough. I loved him before this but now it's like all these things got wrapped up in one.
Sorry to have to stop here but it is getting late and time to go.
BTW my new picture was taken by Christie on Saturday and she did all the stuff with the computer to it. She took it after the wedding when I was changing and she said I just looked so perfect.
Your new picture is beautiful Megan!
ReplyDeleteYour description of sex between you and Steve sounds like a magical experience. I'm glad your 2nd first time :) got to be a positive one.
Keep us updated as to how being a mother goes. I look forward to hearing about your possible impregnation :)
~Eamon
I am glad you are having such a positive start with your family. They seem to have a lot of love to share with you. That is wonderful.
ReplyDeleteSome people believe that sex is only for making babies. Does your family believe that or is sex also for pleasure?
I know you want to have a baby now, but down the road can you use birth control or do you just abstain when you don't want to get pregnant?
You have been so open about your experiences, I hope my questions are not offensive. If they are I apologize and please ignore them.
Shalom, Megan!
ReplyDelete*applause*
Your first time sounds wonderful. It sounds like you and Steve were truly making love! Sex within marriage is a wonderful thing that The Living God gave us. The marriage bed is pure, let NONE defile!
*sigh* I just love it.
Hon, this could all be a wonderful, pro-poly movie you're writing here. Honestly, I wish I was in the movie business because I would like to see this all on the big screen lol.
As for birth control, ask around but I suspect you all don't use birth control? We are of a different belief system but we are "orthodox" I suppose you could say. We don't believe in using birth control. I heard someone say recently "The best birth control is SELF control". I don't know if your family is a "quiverfull" family but if not, might I suggest at some point you look into your ovulation cycle? That is, if you're looking for a birth control at some point. Knowing your ovulation can help you get pregnant when you want to, not just to defer it but to make sure it happens, as well!
If you get pregnant, I'll end up in your blog forever lol. I'll never leave because reading this is all so wonderful for me!!!
Your blog has helped me take a journey. I may not ever get a sisterwife but your testimonies here have REALLY made me feel as if I've experienced it.
You have a WONDERFUL writing style. Please continue to write, if it's not too time consuming!
Welcome to the wives' club!!!
Megan, You sound very happy with your new life! Congrats!
ReplyDeleteI'm like dreamgyrl360 and can't wait to hear about the day you find out you're pregnant! You're very fortunate to be able to feel Steve climax inside you. Not all women are so sensitive to be able to feel the moment of impregnation when it happens and you are blessed to be able to know this.
Now a little bit of advice: You seem shy about some things so to just put it out there you already made your blog an adult blog so as a reader I'm aware you'll have adult content in it as I click in. Got it?
Then don't be shy about using polite terms for the things you seem to want to talk about like penis, vagina, climax, breasts, semen, sperm, and etc. I'd be disappointed if you wrote like a pornstar because the way you write is so blessedly honest and natural already. Yet you should be able to move on and use the honest terms here.
It sounds like your sexual experiences so far are just man-on-top or are you trying anything else? Does your religion allow you to be more sexually adventurous as in having oral sex or etc.? I'm also curious is Shari still trying to have more kids? And I saw Christie just had a baby but will she be trying to have more kids, too? If so, when? And how do you feel talking with your sisterwives about your sexual experiences with Steve and what do you talk about?
Like another commenter said, ignore my questions if you want. I'm deeply enjoying reading about your new life and I'm looking forward to following your story as it unfolds!
Hi Megan.. I just read all your psots.. when you wrote that it all started it out in a commune in the sixties where everyone was sleeping around with everyone, my hart stopped.. I was thinking to myself, she is only 18, get her out of there! And I am third wife of four, so it wasn't the poly thing that scared me. But reading all your posts, and reading about how the family is dealing with the situation, I mut say it sounds great, and I am very happy for you. I am happy that Shari and Steve and Pastor Jeff have asked if you are sure about this, and have been so understanding. I think this is needed and it is very important. It's great that they respect the sanctity of marriage, and that religion is a big part of their life.
ReplyDeleteI am surprised about the generosity of Shari, to bring you guys breakfast in bed. You should hug her closely for that. I know how hard this is. Maybe you don't even realize. But she did an amazing thing there for you.
Megan, I'd love to hear more about how you felt as he held you down and forced himself into you. You've also mentioned being a baby factory. Do you think that when he's spurting inside of you? Do you still think you're just a baby factory for him to fuck and pump his sperm into? Do you like the fact that he's marked you as his own and that it's almost impossible for you to establish a decent relationship with another man? You like being property?
ReplyDelete