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Saturday, April 20, 2013

Wow! Lots of questions!

Wow! I checked in today and found a LOT of questions and will try to get to them all:

1. I understand what you're saying about the women being expected to get soon after marriage. But what happens when someone is infertile? Is there a stigma? How do the women in that position handle that issue within your community?

I've never heard of anyone having any problems because they can't have children. It's just the same with us as with anyone else. I know some women who never had kids and no one says a thing about them. It's not a stigma at all it's just something that happens.

2. Do the women in your church primarily have sex for reproduction? Do you ever get to just for pleasure?

Yes, sex is primarily about having children and yes we also get to have fun! It's not like we become celibate when we're pregnant!

3. Do you cook/bake as much as u used too? Do you guys use crockpot a lot?

Yes, I am still getting up early in the morning to get breakfast going and making bread for the day is usually part of that. I'm also a big fan of the crock pot! My favorite thing to do is to sear a pork roast in a stock pot with vegetable oil and then put it in the crock pot to finish cooking. That way the seared flavor goes into the entire roast and not just the outside of it! Crock pots are also good for making spaghetti sauce and it's great in the winter for hot apple cider. I love the smell of apple cider and cinnamon all through the house!

4. Since I haven't identified what religious group your family are members of, I wonder about not using birth control. Do you have a religious belief about this, like the Catholic Church?

Birth control for us means abstinence. A woman can always choose not to have sex if she doesn't want to or if she wants a break from having kids. But we don't believe in using birth control unless there is a good reason for it like I know a woman who has fibroids and it would be dangerous for her to have any more children. It's a faith thing for us but we're not crazy or anything about it.

Drea and an anonymous person had the same kind of question about women not having kids and I think I got that answered with #1.

5. Also how do your kids handle being in a poly family, especially the older ones? Do they think it's odd that their family is not the norm, so to speak?

I guess to the older girls this is what normal looks like and they handle it the same as anyone would handle being in any other family. Kids with gay parents probably grow up seeing that as normal, too. I know I grew up with my parents being pretty violent and on drugs all the time and I guess I was like twelve before I realized that not everyone was like that.

The terrible things that happened this week in Boston and in Texas have been on my mind and my prayers go out to those people and their families who have been lost and who have lost loved ones. I can't imagine what they are feeling and how they are going to handle the future but my heart is just sick whenever I stop to think about them.

In Boston there was a Reddit page for buying pizza for the doctors and families at the hospitals and I sent two pizzas to Massachusetts General Hospital for the medical staff in ICU. If anyone wants to do the same thing it would be a nice way of letting those people know you love them:


Wednesday, April 10, 2013

dreamgyrl360's questions...

Hey there! I saw your questions and had a quick second to answer them:

Can you tell us what your typical homeschooling time is like?

In the winter it's more structured since we are inside most of the time and then we do class at the kitchen table. Right now that means we have Hannah, Eric, and Emily doing their different things. Eric and Emily mostly work on reading and really basic math and Hannah has high school work she does. In the spring and summer we mix in a lot of outside things like trips to museums and parks.

What materials do you use?

All sorts of stuff for the younger kids. We get some of Hannah's books and stuff through Child Evangelism Fellowship. Not like they sell it all but they make recommendations for stuff we use. I used a lot of the things they recommended for improving my writing and math skills.

Children are a blessing! Do you guys ascribe to the "quiverfull" movement, or no?

'Quiverfull' is a pretty serious term for some people in the church and we don't use it. To me it is all the same because we end up having a lot of kids just like the people who do say they are quiverfull. The differences have been explained to me a couple times and to me it's like talking about Chevy trucks or Ford trucks and saying how they're totally different when they do the same things.

Just my opinion, okay? I see the thing is that quiverfull people have lots of kids because they say they're supposed to have lots of kids. And some of the quiverfull families like the Duggars have more kids with one wife than Steve has had with FIVE wives!

With us the big deal seems to be is that a wife having kids with her husband is a way to help her commit to her husband so when you first get married there is a LOT of pressure to get pregnant right away. You get pressure as a wife and your husband gets pressure too. We're patriarchal and the pregnancy thing is part of that, like the man is supposed to get his wife pregnant as a symbol of him being in charge. After the first baby there is still no birth control but no one is really on you about having a lot of kids. Some women take long breaks from sex so they can have time between babies and no one seems to mind that much.

I guess then we are not the same as quiverfull people but I can see how we would look like that to people in the rest of the world who just ever have one or two kids.

Friday, April 5, 2013

April 5, 2013. Answers to some questions

I didn't have much on my mind to write but there were some questions so I thought I would answer them.

Kitania asked for an update on the family and after some discussion in the house it was okay to post this much:

Steve is our husband. His first wife was Shari and they had three girls, Stevie (Stephanie), Lauren, and Hannah. Stevie and Lauren are moved out and they have husbands of their own and kids of their own now.

Christie legally married Steve after he and Shari divorced. Christie has four children, Eric, Emily, Renee, and Samuel.

Then there's Macy who has her son Jacob.

I have four children of my own, my twin girls Laura and Patricia, Daniel, and Malachi. I'm expecting another baby in late October of this year.

Cydne came into the family in November and is also expecting a baby around the same time I am.

I left some names out of this on purpose because I was asked to.

Then there were some questions put up by one of my anonymous people who like to troll me and hurt me. But I am going to go ahead and answer the questions anyway.

 So are you getting used to being a breeding cow?

We live on a ranch so this question isn't as bad to us as it would be to the person who asked it. Yes, I am getting used to it. In a way it is true that one of my big roles in life now is to have children. And I LOVE my children! Some people say that the more children you have the more you have to divide your love. That's not true! The more children you have the more God surprises you with your capacity to love more than you thought you could! Having my husband come to me and want me to have more children with him is such an amazing compliment! Getting used to being loved, loving more than ever before, and creating love is a wonderful thing no matter what you call it!

Like having his baby growing inside you as a reminder of who the man in the house is?


How does Cydne feel about being conquered by her new mate?

She seems pretty happy about it. And I'm happy for her and she's been an awesome addition to our family!

Sorry to cut this short but I have to go and chat with a friend!