Tuesday, March 3, 2009

A Memorable Week!

It's Tuesday and I have a LOT to catch up on!

I'm going to start with the weather. It has been really rainy in Northern California and Steve even stayed home today because the road out of here was not looking good last night and sure enough there was a mudslide on it and a creek was overflowing one of the bridges. It was nice to have him home all day (-:

We had to tranqulize one of the horses because the hail freaked her out. It was pretty scary and all I did was watch! Steve held the horse and Stevie gave her the shot and it took ten minutes and then the horse was fine. It's not one of our horses but a horse that is boarded here for some people from Roseville. Our horses did fine and the cattle didn't seem to care about the weather at all. I guess I expected cattle would want to be in a barn when there is bad weather but they don't care. It's kind of nice to be learning all this stuff.

Okay, so Sunday was really exciting! We must have had 50 people here and everyone started showing up around 10:30 and we did the service out in the garage. We had the cars outside for the service to make room. The "love bomb" went off on me again after service and I don't think there was anyone I didn't meet. Everyone was really nice to me and Steve later told me that a couple of the men congratulated him on 'catching' me. Steve said he was a little offended that I was compared to a bass but he said guys can be like that and it is meant well. It didn't bother me at all. The women were all really sweet to me and they were really excited to see someone new joining their group. I did meet some of the daughters who are my age and most of them are going to school but are looking to get married when they can. One of the daughters who is 24 is married to the son of one of the families and is the first and only wife for him. He is in the Army and is in Afghanistan and she can't wait for him to come home. She has two boys and says she would love to have a sister-wife just to have company in the house but they have to wait until her husband leaves the Army because they can't afford another person in the house on their income.

The service was pretty normal and we sang hymns and had prayer time and Steve & Shari gave thanks for me coming to join them and that was sort of embarassing on top of all the other stuff. But it was still nice. Pastor Jeff gave a sermon on Jesus at the temple going after the money changers and he compared it to today with the economy and it seemed like a good message to save your money and don't get tangled up in credit cards and debt.

After the service people just hung around for an hour or so and had coffee and cookies and sandwiches and then they all seemed to leave about the same time. It was a lot of fun and next month we get together at a home up near Chico where one family has a rice farm.

Pastor Jeff stayed to talk to me after everyone else left and we sat in the library so we could be alone. He was a lot younger than I expected for a Pastor and I would guess he is maybe 30. He has two wives and didn't grow up in the church but joined it when he worked for the family that has the rice farm. He went to seminary to become a Baptist Pastor and said the Lord drew him back to this life after he graduated from seminary. His wife is from Oklahoma and she is very nice and he says that she didn't want to do this but that it grew on her and she got to be close friends with the daughter of one of the families and one day the daughter told her she wanted to be with her and Jeff and she said okay and let things happen.

Pastor Jeff asked me some serious questions like was I sure about what I was doing and did I understand that I was making choices that could not be undone? I told him this was something I had wanted for a long time but didn't realize that it was THIS that I wanted until I found it. He said he understood that. I told him about feeling the same way Christie did and she had told me that a John Denver song really captured the way she felt.

He was born in the summer of his 27th year
Comin home to a place he'd never been before
He left yesterday behind him, you might say he was born again
You might say he found a key for every door

And that's how I feel too. I was really sad to find out John Denver was dead because he understood life so well.

Pastor Jeff then got into talking about me being a single woman and how if I was going to stay in the house there had to be some resolution of who I was to the family. He asked if Steve and I were getting romantic and I had to say yes because we've kissed a few times and he said that was good but that it could be a problem if the relationship isn't 'defined'. He asked me if I wanted to leave and I said no. Then he asked me if I wanted to stay and I said yes. Then he asked me if I loved Steve and I said I was starting to. Then he got up and left and had Christie come in and tell me about how she started in the family and how she got married to Steve after a few weeks of living here and then letting things happen from there. We had some serious talk about what it meant to join the family and marry Steve and then Christie stepped out.

Steve came in and had me come out to the living room and everyone was sitting around looking and I was all like "What?" and they all smiled like there was a joke I didn't know. Then Steve took my hand and put a ring on it and asked me to marry him. I knew this was supposed to happen at some point but it still surprised me when it did and it blew me away! I just laughed a little and asked if this was for real and Steve said it was and I said yes! It was all hugs and tears after that and Pastor Jeff got me and Steve away for a minute and said he would be marrying us on March 14th. That's less than two weeks! WOW! O-:

Pastor Jeff saw I was tweaking and had me go back to the library with him and he said that we would be married so it would resolve who I was in the family and prevent any problems but that what was between me and Steve would still have to go at my pace. He said that my wedding day and my wedding night don't have to be on the same day if I don't want them to be.

Stopping for dinner was really great because it gave me time to think and get a grip and to trip out on the ring on my finger. It's a real diamond and it's really big! Wow.

After dinner Shari did the chores with the girls and Christie and I went off to go talk. Christie told me that things went the same for her and that I didn't have to get married but that since this was where things were going anyway the church wants to be sure there's a committment before anything serious happens with me and Steve. Having Christie to talk to calmed me down a lot and I guess it all does make sense. I had already made up my mind that I wasn't leaving and being a permanent house guest doesn't make any sense. Christie offered to let me wear her wedding dress and I tried it on on Monday morning and it fit pretty good but Shari will be taking it in up top because I'm not as busty as Christie is.

Where this all is now is my mom and a few of my friends will be here on the 14th for the wedding and I will be getting married that day. Pastor Jeff made sure to tell me that legally we call it a handfasting and not a wedding so we can help avoid legal problems. He said that within the church I am Steve's wife but that the legal thing will have to wait a while. He said the courts in Canada might be making poly legal there this year and if that happens he thinks the USA will do the same thing too. He says they can't say it's okay for gays to marry and not say the same for poly families.

So I'm just all wow right now. Things are really busy here with the weather so I may not write much here this week but I will try to check in.


  1. Wow Megan, that's a lot happening really fast!
    Just make sure you're not getting in over your head. You've been in the house only a few weeks, and you're already getting married.

  2. Yeah, things are happening fast. They'll be expecting you to get pregnant within a few weeks. Is that what you want?

    In the poly community you hear lots of talk about NRE -- New Relationship Energy. It's amazing and wonderful, but decisions one makes while under its influence can be suspect. You wouldn't decide to get married and have children while drunk, and NRE can be twice as intoxicating.

    The family is wonderful, and surely they wouldn't mind waiting a few months for things to settle in, right?

  3. Oh gosh. :) I'm all excited and crying for you...in a good way! -- I primose to not comment on every post!

  4. "He said the courts in Canada might be making poly legal there this year and if that happens he thinks the USA will do the same thing too. He says they can't say it's okay for gays to marry and not say the same for poly families." - If only this had been true!