Posts
Yay! Steve and I are having our third anniversary today! I wish he was here so we could do something romantic that he is off work helping to take care of our family and that's more important. It is hard to believe so much time has gone by and then it also seems like not a lot of time has gone by at all. When I think about who I was three years ago I think of myself than as a little girl and now I feel so much more grown-up. Naïve is the word I always use to describe myself from back then.
Steve called me earlier today and said happy anniversary and that was really sweet. It is really hard for him to take time away from work to make phone calls like that so I really appreciate it. Even though he is not here were going to have cake and a little bit of a party to celebrate. We do this for all of the anniversaries that take place around here. I wish Steve was home for more of them.
To answer a few questions that I got on the blog and in e-mail it is true that the house will be kind of crowded real soon but were not worried about taking care of the babies and the kids we have plenty of food and the money thing seems to be fixed now. It is a big house and we have a lot of room and then we also have the guest house and Tab and Stevie will be moving out of the guest house this summer now that they have enough money for a down payment on their own place. The plan is for Christie to move back out there with her kids and then Macy and me will share the house with our kids and Hannah.
It's kind of warm for winter this year which isn't bad. I know people are all crazy about global warming and all that but I am happy to have some warm weather. It has been nice to be out in shorts and a T-shirt a few days and it is also been nice to use the swimming pool. "Warm" for us this time of year means that it's not freezing and we don't have 6 feet of snow on the ground. For California this is probably a little cool in the 60s and high 50s but for here this is really nice. We already have green grass coming up and that means we can save money on putting out hay and alfalfa for the cattle. It also means we don't have 2 miles of dirt road to go over in snowmobiles to get to the main road.
One question was asking why I don't talk more about my children and the other children here. Part of it is because they need to have a little privacy, part of it is because I don't like telling people too much about my children, and a small part is that I don't want to tell people so much that they can recognize us in public.
I will say that my little girls are doing just fine. We still have to be very careful with Laura about sunburns but Patty does just fine in the sun. Both of them are talking and like typical girls they don't ever stop talking! Danny has been a very good boy and he is actually been a lot easier to take care of then the two girls were at his age.
Macy and Christie's kids are doing fine too. Eric is four years old now and he is the man of the house when his father is not around. He helps a lot with the animals and it is pretty amazing to watch this little boy push around big huge cows and bulls.
We don't hear from Shari much. Lauren chats with her sometimes and we do know she and her boyfriend are doing okay and she likes her job and really likes Seattle. I miss her sometimes and then at the same time things are so much more relaxed around the house without her and her rules. Some of the rules we keep because they make sense but then some others like wearing dresses all the time we just don't do anymore. We try to keep modest when we are outside of the house or off the property but around the house it doesn't matter much because everybody knows what everybody looks like and everybody knows what everybody does. There are not too many secrets around here.
Things are doing better at church because the economy is doing a little better at least around here. The money from North Dakota is really helping things out. I know the rest of the country is not doing so well but at least this little corner of the world is doing better.
One of the really cool things that took place at church was we had a Muslim family and their kids join the church and come to Christ! They moved here from Minneapolis because it was not safe for them to be Christian back there. They are really really nice people. I don't know if they will take another wife but I do know that they are really cool with the whole poly thing. I do not know too much about their conversion experience and maybe that is too personal for them but maybe someday they will tell me about it.
Well, I guess that is about all for right now. I have not done much work outside of the house so there is not much to tell about that, I am still cooking of course, and I am quilting but not so much now that the weather is better.
I hope you all have a blessed March and just in case I don't write anything here anytime soon I hope you have a blessed April as well.
Megan
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
January 19, 2012
It is been a while since I've been on here and I guess it's time to tell you what what all is going on in life. The big news is that all three of us are pregnant! Macy and I are due around the end of August and Christie is due around the end of September maybe first of October. It is going to be a very difficult summer with all three of us out of action. We have Hannah at the the house still but I just can't imagine her doing all the work that's going to need to be done while the three of us are in the late stages of pregnancy. We'll probably have to get some help from someone at the church or we might have to hire somebody. We'll see.
The men are still working in North Dakota and they're doing really well. Steve found an apartment for him and Tab so they got out of the container they were living in. Oh and when I say container it's more like a motorhome than just a plain container. They had heat and electricity and a bathroom and all that. Fortunately it hasn't been a very cold winter, we were expecting it to be really really cold for them especially in North Dakota and it's actually been kind of mild.
Christie is home from traveling and she has been doing taxes lately. It's that time of year for her. So while she is at home we still don't get to see her an awful lot because she is so busy. We also get a lot of phone calls when she's working and that's kind of weird having the phone ringing all the time.
My babies are doing great! Laura is talking and she won't shut up! Which makes her just like her mom! Patty is doing pretty good too and she is in full on toddler mode. She gets kind of moody sometimes but mostly she's really happy and very active. She loves to be physical with all the animals and she likes to tell me all about all the animals that are coming by the ranch. We have a fox that comes around sometimes and we feed it cat food. Patty wants to treat it like a cat and she really wants to pet it and she always gets mad when I don't let her. The fox seems nice enough but they do carry rabies and even though there's no rabies around here we have to be careful. I hate to admit but I've pet the fox a few times. Laura is my little inside girl and she is not much for being outside the house. In some ways that's good because she's really fair skinned like her mother is and would easily get sunburned. Danny is a typical boy and he is doing well. He says a few words here and there but is mostly quiet and he likes to play with his toys. Kind of like his father!
The church is doing okay. A few of the families have had to dip into the welfare fund because they were out of work and they had a hard time. Praise God, no one is on welfare. We have had a lot of people in the shelter in Denver and in December there was a big call for extra blankets and jackets and clothes. We sent what we could from the house but I really wish we could've done more. It's so sad to hear about people who are out on the street and homeless and then I think about the fact that I could easily be one of them right now if my life had gone just a little bit differently. I am very, very blessed. Right now I think most people are blessed just to have a job, a home, and food on their table. It is really scary how many people in America right now do not have all of these things. What is even scarier is how many of those people are just normal people! They are not the kind of people you would expect to be out on the street begging for food or extra money.
Where our family is getting our finances in order there is a little bit of pressure in the church for us to take on a fourth wife. I now understand what Shari went through having to deal with a third and a fourth wife in such a short time. I like our life the way it is right now and I know it is selfish but I don't want to share our home with someone else. Two other families in the church recently went poly and added second wives. The one lady has two little girls and she was unmarried and the daddy of the little girls was messed up in drugs and he got killed in some drug deal. The other girl was fresh out of foster care and turned 18 and they kicked her out so she was homeless and ended up at the shelter in Denver. Now she has a family. I know all of this is not perfect but where would these people be if they couldn't find a family? And that makes me feel like a hypocrite because the same kind of charity that brought me into this family is the same kind of charity I don't want to share. Pretty bad I know. I do know that as long as Steve is working out of town we are definitely not adding anyone to the family but then on the other side of that the money he makes working out of town makes it easier to add someone. I just don't know what the right answer is here.
Cooking. I need a different subject!
I have really dug into my cooking and have had some fun. Over the weekend I made a beef Wellington but instead of beef I used bison. Bison is a lot leaner than beef and it has a stronger taste. The result was a very nice dinner and we also had leftovers for Sunday. I am also playing with bread and I made a three grain raisin bread yesterday and it came out really good. The recipe needs a little more tweaking because it is really dense and I would like to make it a little more airy. I made a pumpernickel about a month ago and it went really well with soup and I know I will try that again. Most mornings right now I am making sweet rolls and I put cinnamon or jam on them and serve them that way. Sometimes I just put butter on them too.
I discovered tea! Christie brought home some Tetley's tea from England and she made me try it and I am really liking it! It is really smooth and it does not have a lot of acid in it like most tea does. Most tea upsets my stomach but this does not. Yes, I like peppermint tea but that isn't really tea like what most people talk about.
There was no snow for the holidays so I did not work at the resort and I kind of missed having some adult time away from the house. The money would've been nice too. I just like having my own money to spend instead of using family money. I am hoping with the storm coming in right now that we get enough snow that the resort can open and we can start getting some snowmobile people in. Then maybe I can get some work.
Well, I guess that's enough for right now. I mean I don't know what else to say so I think I will wrap this up and hope that everybody has a Happy New Year and that 2012 is a much better year for all of you than 2011 was!
Bye for now, Megan
The men are still working in North Dakota and they're doing really well. Steve found an apartment for him and Tab so they got out of the container they were living in. Oh and when I say container it's more like a motorhome than just a plain container. They had heat and electricity and a bathroom and all that. Fortunately it hasn't been a very cold winter, we were expecting it to be really really cold for them especially in North Dakota and it's actually been kind of mild.
Christie is home from traveling and she has been doing taxes lately. It's that time of year for her. So while she is at home we still don't get to see her an awful lot because she is so busy. We also get a lot of phone calls when she's working and that's kind of weird having the phone ringing all the time.
My babies are doing great! Laura is talking and she won't shut up! Which makes her just like her mom! Patty is doing pretty good too and she is in full on toddler mode. She gets kind of moody sometimes but mostly she's really happy and very active. She loves to be physical with all the animals and she likes to tell me all about all the animals that are coming by the ranch. We have a fox that comes around sometimes and we feed it cat food. Patty wants to treat it like a cat and she really wants to pet it and she always gets mad when I don't let her. The fox seems nice enough but they do carry rabies and even though there's no rabies around here we have to be careful. I hate to admit but I've pet the fox a few times. Laura is my little inside girl and she is not much for being outside the house. In some ways that's good because she's really fair skinned like her mother is and would easily get sunburned. Danny is a typical boy and he is doing well. He says a few words here and there but is mostly quiet and he likes to play with his toys. Kind of like his father!
The church is doing okay. A few of the families have had to dip into the welfare fund because they were out of work and they had a hard time. Praise God, no one is on welfare. We have had a lot of people in the shelter in Denver and in December there was a big call for extra blankets and jackets and clothes. We sent what we could from the house but I really wish we could've done more. It's so sad to hear about people who are out on the street and homeless and then I think about the fact that I could easily be one of them right now if my life had gone just a little bit differently. I am very, very blessed. Right now I think most people are blessed just to have a job, a home, and food on their table. It is really scary how many people in America right now do not have all of these things. What is even scarier is how many of those people are just normal people! They are not the kind of people you would expect to be out on the street begging for food or extra money.
Where our family is getting our finances in order there is a little bit of pressure in the church for us to take on a fourth wife. I now understand what Shari went through having to deal with a third and a fourth wife in such a short time. I like our life the way it is right now and I know it is selfish but I don't want to share our home with someone else. Two other families in the church recently went poly and added second wives. The one lady has two little girls and she was unmarried and the daddy of the little girls was messed up in drugs and he got killed in some drug deal. The other girl was fresh out of foster care and turned 18 and they kicked her out so she was homeless and ended up at the shelter in Denver. Now she has a family. I know all of this is not perfect but where would these people be if they couldn't find a family? And that makes me feel like a hypocrite because the same kind of charity that brought me into this family is the same kind of charity I don't want to share. Pretty bad I know. I do know that as long as Steve is working out of town we are definitely not adding anyone to the family but then on the other side of that the money he makes working out of town makes it easier to add someone. I just don't know what the right answer is here.
Cooking. I need a different subject!
I have really dug into my cooking and have had some fun. Over the weekend I made a beef Wellington but instead of beef I used bison. Bison is a lot leaner than beef and it has a stronger taste. The result was a very nice dinner and we also had leftovers for Sunday. I am also playing with bread and I made a three grain raisin bread yesterday and it came out really good. The recipe needs a little more tweaking because it is really dense and I would like to make it a little more airy. I made a pumpernickel about a month ago and it went really well with soup and I know I will try that again. Most mornings right now I am making sweet rolls and I put cinnamon or jam on them and serve them that way. Sometimes I just put butter on them too.
I discovered tea! Christie brought home some Tetley's tea from England and she made me try it and I am really liking it! It is really smooth and it does not have a lot of acid in it like most tea does. Most tea upsets my stomach but this does not. Yes, I like peppermint tea but that isn't really tea like what most people talk about.
There was no snow for the holidays so I did not work at the resort and I kind of missed having some adult time away from the house. The money would've been nice too. I just like having my own money to spend instead of using family money. I am hoping with the storm coming in right now that we get enough snow that the resort can open and we can start getting some snowmobile people in. Then maybe I can get some work.
Well, I guess that's enough for right now. I mean I don't know what else to say so I think I will wrap this up and hope that everybody has a Happy New Year and that 2012 is a much better year for all of you than 2011 was!
Bye for now, Megan
Thursday, December 8, 2011
December 8, 2011
Hello and Merry Christmas to everyone! I hope your Thanksgiving went very well our Thanksgiving went really nice too. I am trying out this software called Dragon that lets you talk and type at the same time and this is what I talk like!
I decided to stop taking anonymous comments on the blog here because the anonymous comments are usually just mean. So if you're registered and you can put your name to your post go ahead and post whatever you want I don't really care. It's just sort of like vandalism to have people come in and post things on here that are just mean and you don't know who they are.
To answer one of the questions that got posted there is no one pregnant in the house right now. Christie and Macy both miscarried their last two babies and Stevie gave birth to her new baby on Monday night. In the family tradition she gave birth to a little girl who came a little early but is healthy and weighs 6 1/2 pounds. Her name is Elizabeth and she is a very happy little girl!
Steve and Tab have been working in North Dakota the last month or so working in the oil industry. There's a lot of construction and roadbuilding needed for all these oil platforms that are being built so that is keeping the men very busy and out of the house most of the time. The last time they were here was Thanksgiving and we haven't seen them since. The house is been really quiet without them here but on the other side of things the house is very very clean and I have been getting a lot of sleep! Yay! Christie is gone right now too doing her job and were not exactly sure when she will be done with it.
The family is doing really good. Things are very cold outside and were all very happy to get back indoors after all the chores are done. The chickens are in the barn for the winter and very happy. I am actually getting little chicks right now and finding them in the weirdest places in the barn. Right now I think we have about 25 chicks.
This weekend and the next two weekends I'll be working at the resort cooking. I'm pretty happy about it. I get to get out for a while two nights a week and I get to make some money of my own and it is really nice to have conversations with people about things other than chores, babies, and married life. So back at the end of the summer when I was cooking at the resort I was mostly a sous chef and now this time I'm going to be doing pastries. I hate to admit it but I really love pastries! My hips hate to admit it too!
Did anybody try the raisin spice cake? I'd really like to know what you thought of it. For me it's one of my favorite recipes because it just takes one pan and then one cooking pan to make it and then everyone really likes it and it gets eaten pretty quick.
With my free time at night I finished five quilts and I'm giving four away as Christmas presents and then one of them sold at our church Christmas bazaar this last Sunday. It was a silent auction and my quilt sold for $120! I think it was the best compliment I have had all year long. In other news a Japanese newspaper sent a reporter over and he interviewed a few of the families in the church. We were told that our lifestyle is a big deal in Japan. The reporter was pretty honest with us and he said that a lot of families in Japan are polygamist but they do it in secret. Sort of. A husband will have his regular wife and family and then he might have another woman and her family on the side and this is considered pretty normal in Japan. Some men even have two extra women that they are supporting on the side. The thing that is really unusual to the Japanese is that for us the man and the women all live in the same house and some people in Japan are starting to want to do this too. I don't know if anybody in Japan reads my blog but if you do the article is supposed to be out in the next week or so and it will talk about us living in Wyoming. I guess it is okay to say that we live in Wyoming now since the Japanese newspaper knows this too.
My cousin Marcia was out here to visit a couple weeks ago and she had a really nice time. Was nice to see her and she had a lot of fun seeing the different families and we did a lot of horse riding together. No, she is not interested in the lifestyle but is going to be going to college next fall after she graduates high school.
I guess this is a lot to write for right now and I am going to go. Where I am not getting a lot of time lately this might be my last post before Christmas so I am wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a very happy new year!
Megan
I decided to stop taking anonymous comments on the blog here because the anonymous comments are usually just mean. So if you're registered and you can put your name to your post go ahead and post whatever you want I don't really care. It's just sort of like vandalism to have people come in and post things on here that are just mean and you don't know who they are.
To answer one of the questions that got posted there is no one pregnant in the house right now. Christie and Macy both miscarried their last two babies and Stevie gave birth to her new baby on Monday night. In the family tradition she gave birth to a little girl who came a little early but is healthy and weighs 6 1/2 pounds. Her name is Elizabeth and she is a very happy little girl!
Steve and Tab have been working in North Dakota the last month or so working in the oil industry. There's a lot of construction and roadbuilding needed for all these oil platforms that are being built so that is keeping the men very busy and out of the house most of the time. The last time they were here was Thanksgiving and we haven't seen them since. The house is been really quiet without them here but on the other side of things the house is very very clean and I have been getting a lot of sleep! Yay! Christie is gone right now too doing her job and were not exactly sure when she will be done with it.
The family is doing really good. Things are very cold outside and were all very happy to get back indoors after all the chores are done. The chickens are in the barn for the winter and very happy. I am actually getting little chicks right now and finding them in the weirdest places in the barn. Right now I think we have about 25 chicks.
This weekend and the next two weekends I'll be working at the resort cooking. I'm pretty happy about it. I get to get out for a while two nights a week and I get to make some money of my own and it is really nice to have conversations with people about things other than chores, babies, and married life. So back at the end of the summer when I was cooking at the resort I was mostly a sous chef and now this time I'm going to be doing pastries. I hate to admit it but I really love pastries! My hips hate to admit it too!
Did anybody try the raisin spice cake? I'd really like to know what you thought of it. For me it's one of my favorite recipes because it just takes one pan and then one cooking pan to make it and then everyone really likes it and it gets eaten pretty quick.
With my free time at night I finished five quilts and I'm giving four away as Christmas presents and then one of them sold at our church Christmas bazaar this last Sunday. It was a silent auction and my quilt sold for $120! I think it was the best compliment I have had all year long. In other news a Japanese newspaper sent a reporter over and he interviewed a few of the families in the church. We were told that our lifestyle is a big deal in Japan. The reporter was pretty honest with us and he said that a lot of families in Japan are polygamist but they do it in secret. Sort of. A husband will have his regular wife and family and then he might have another woman and her family on the side and this is considered pretty normal in Japan. Some men even have two extra women that they are supporting on the side. The thing that is really unusual to the Japanese is that for us the man and the women all live in the same house and some people in Japan are starting to want to do this too. I don't know if anybody in Japan reads my blog but if you do the article is supposed to be out in the next week or so and it will talk about us living in Wyoming. I guess it is okay to say that we live in Wyoming now since the Japanese newspaper knows this too.
My cousin Marcia was out here to visit a couple weeks ago and she had a really nice time. Was nice to see her and she had a lot of fun seeing the different families and we did a lot of horse riding together. No, she is not interested in the lifestyle but is going to be going to college next fall after she graduates high school.
I guess this is a lot to write for right now and I am going to go. Where I am not getting a lot of time lately this might be my last post before Christmas so I am wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a very happy new year!
Megan
Friday, November 4, 2011
November 5, 2011
Hey there. It has been a while since my last post. I didn't post anything last month part because it was really busy and then part because there wasn't really much to say.
The change in the weather is really nice. We had a hot and humid summer and with it being cool now it is so wonderful to go outside and not sweat all over the place. Hate to say but I sweat like a guy sometimes and it is not pretty! It has been nice having the fire going again and sitting around and talking.
One of my friends from the resort that I met over the summer joined the church on Sunday and that was awesome. There had not been a new member for a while so this was like a little party. Speaking of the resort they called me this morning to ask if I would work during the holidays and maybe into the spring and I said I would. Be nice to have the extra money and maybe get some nice presents for Christmas.
I found an old recipe in Steve's mom's recipe box and it was pretty good. It is called "Raisin Spice Cake" and it really is awesome and I don't even like raisins!
Raisin Spice Cake
2 cups seedless raisins
2 1/4 cups water
1 cup vegetable oil
2 cups sugar
2 egss, beaten
2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ground clove
2 tsp all spice
2 tsp nutmeg (optional because it gives some people heartburn)
3 1/2 cups of flour. (Whole wheat unbleached flour works really well with this recipe.)
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp baking soda
Combine the raisins, spices, and water and simmer to a light boil and let it simmer for 15 minutes. Remove from heat and add oil, then the sugar, and then the eggs followed by the salt and baking soda. Sift in the flour and stir until smooth.
Pour the mixture into a greased 13x9 glass pan.
Bake at 375F in a regular oven or at 350F in a convection oven for around 35-40 minutes (check it at around 30 minutes).
It is awesome when it is hot but after it cools you can dust it with powdered sugar just to make it look nice. I also tried serving it with a Lemon-Brandy sauce and that worked out really well, too.
I got to admit I like this recipe because it gives a great smell to the house! I know I say to simmer it 15 minutes but I like to go 30 and add another 1/4 cup of water just so I can enjoy the smell! It is like a nice potpourri!
Okay, we have the telephone guy coming out to put in some new connection so I have to go. You all have a nice day!
Megan
The change in the weather is really nice. We had a hot and humid summer and with it being cool now it is so wonderful to go outside and not sweat all over the place. Hate to say but I sweat like a guy sometimes and it is not pretty! It has been nice having the fire going again and sitting around and talking.
One of my friends from the resort that I met over the summer joined the church on Sunday and that was awesome. There had not been a new member for a while so this was like a little party. Speaking of the resort they called me this morning to ask if I would work during the holidays and maybe into the spring and I said I would. Be nice to have the extra money and maybe get some nice presents for Christmas.
I found an old recipe in Steve's mom's recipe box and it was pretty good. It is called "Raisin Spice Cake" and it really is awesome and I don't even like raisins!
Raisin Spice Cake
2 cups seedless raisins
2 1/4 cups water
1 cup vegetable oil
2 cups sugar
2 egss, beaten
2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ground clove
2 tsp all spice
2 tsp nutmeg (optional because it gives some people heartburn)
3 1/2 cups of flour. (Whole wheat unbleached flour works really well with this recipe.)
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp baking soda
Combine the raisins, spices, and water and simmer to a light boil and let it simmer for 15 minutes. Remove from heat and add oil, then the sugar, and then the eggs followed by the salt and baking soda. Sift in the flour and stir until smooth.
Pour the mixture into a greased 13x9 glass pan.
Bake at 375F in a regular oven or at 350F in a convection oven for around 35-40 minutes (check it at around 30 minutes).
It is awesome when it is hot but after it cools you can dust it with powdered sugar just to make it look nice. I also tried serving it with a Lemon-Brandy sauce and that worked out really well, too.
I got to admit I like this recipe because it gives a great smell to the house! I know I say to simmer it 15 minutes but I like to go 30 and add another 1/4 cup of water just so I can enjoy the smell! It is like a nice potpourri!
Okay, we have the telephone guy coming out to put in some new connection so I have to go. You all have a nice day!
Megan
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Nice break.
Time away from this was nice. The moderation on comments got turned back on. It is funny the questions from the one person about my personal stuff wasn't mean like the one comment I deleted. Someone told me in an email that some people are braver on the internet than in real life and you can see it here sometimes when people post stuff they would never say to you in person.
Thanks Helene for your nice response. Nice to have a friend!
I was not offended by the questions because like you said it was nothing that wasn't put on here before but I don't mind looking at it and seeing how things have changed for me.
Anonymous said...
I have a few questions: I'd like to know about your first time with your husband. Did you two have a honeymoon? Did you start babymaking right at the start? What did you think the first time you were fucking him and you knew you were going to have a baby? Do you like sex now? Is it your idea or his idea to have sex? You ever do it and not want to? What does he do when you don't want to have sex? What do your sisterwives think of quiverfull and providentialism?
1. No, we really didn't have a honeymoon.
2. Yes, we started babymaking right at the start.
3. It scared the hell out of me.
4. Most of the time.
5. His most of the time.
6. Yes.
7. He pesters me until I say yes or just give in.
8. Mostly we just accept it.
There is another post about patriarchal crap and it is funny the person wrote about me having three husbands. I have been on email with someone who is writing a story with a woman who has more than one husband and I guess if you can have a man with three wives then I guess a woman can have three husbands. Why not?
If we were talking about gay polygamy or whatever you would call it then I don't think anyone would care. Like if five gay men or five lesbian women lived as a family would they get in trouble or would anyone who reads this blog care about it? I don't think so. I also don't think anyone would care if a woman lived with three men and had their kids. Maybe she could also call all of them her husbands.
With our situation the thing is that women from inside the church have a choice about what they do and not all of them marry and have kids. Most families in the church are a man and a woman and maybe 1/3 of them are poly families. It is expensive to be poly and you have to do a lot of things first before the church approves of your being a poly family. That means you need to be married for a while, have kids of your own, and be totally debt free and not many people can do all of that.
Women from outside the church, like me, accept the patriarchy and the Providentialism as part of our lives because this life is better than what we left behind. All of the women I know who joined the church left something worse behind them and this can be VERY hard to take sometimes but it is still soooo much better than being homeless, abused, around drugs and alcohol, single mom no one wants to date, and more.
Here I go with this:
I know I have a lot of friends on line and some of them know this but not all.
When I was sixteen my father was out of prison on parole and he was way into meth and I was seriously hoping the probation officers would test him and send him back to jail but he was always sober when they showed up and they did not test him so that didn't happen. One time my mom was out of the house and he was doing a lot of meth and he raped me. He got more prison time for that and then he died and now I finally feel safer.
It left me seriously messed up and my mom was not a lot of help because she was doing meth too. She is off it now and is starting a new life but the two years between when I was raped and when I married into my family she was all about the pipe. College was not going to happen and getting a job in Sacramento and getting a place of my own was not going to happen.
When I was 17 it got into my head that I wanted a baby and I wanted a baby bad. Yeah, I know all the psychological stuff about wanting a baby to love and being emotionally f*cked up and it was all true for me. I knew it at the time that I was messed up but that changed nothing. I also knew I wanted a safe place to be in and I wanted to be with people who already had a safe home. When Christie invited me to visit I cried the first time when I left because what they had was such a dream to me.
But why didn't I just marry a guy my age? Guys my age are addicted to their phones and their video games the same way my parents were into meth. I don't know ANY guys under 30 who have it together in any way and I was not going to wait until I was 30 to start a life when I needed a life at 18. So I married Steve and my family and I accepted the sex and the patriarchy as part of what I chose to do all on my own because even with the things that are hard this is still almost a dream compared to what I left behind.
You know the biggest change for me? I live in a house that is CLEAN. No dirty clothes on the floor, no trash piled up and stinking, no dirty dishes caked with goo, and no one on meth stealing everything that is worth anything so they can have their white dragon. We have some drama here but we NEVER have the probation officers busting in at 3am to do a check, we never have the police just messing with us because they know we are trouble, we don't go from one apartment to another because my mom or dad smoked the rent money and we got evicted again. I am not sleeping on my cousins couch. Or in the car.
I came to this wanting a safe place and I wanted babies and I have both. It is not a big fantasy land because all of that came with something too. The safe place and clean house takes a LOT of hard work and that is part of why I am not on the net a lot. Christie is working again and she is not even home right now. Steve and Tab are gone on work. Me and Macy and Hannah are doing everything at home right now and it is a lot of work. Having my babies meant being with Steve and he is a WONDERFUL man and he tries his best with me and he has been patient with me when it is the right thing and he has not been patient with me at time when that was the right thing too. He knows about my past and he has done what he thought was right and I look back and I think it was all fine because things are turning out pretty good.
He knew what was best for me and I was forced to trust him if I wanted to stay and things turned out pretty good I think. I know that is called patriarchal but is that wrong? It is hard to let someone else make your important choices for you but if they make better choices for you than you know you can make yourself then isn't that a good thing? I think it is.
I was up last night and saw a TV show about models in New York city and all the hard things they do. My life is a lot easier than that! And the men in the fashion business use them like toys and go on to the next girl. THAT is abusive patriarchal(ism?) to me! Poly is easy compared to being a model in New York.
I don't think this would work for most women and I REALLY don't think this kind of poly would work for most men. Most guys my age will never know what it is like to own a car or a house or be debt free. Most of them live with their parents.
I liked a comedian we saw on TV and he said people my age are stupid with the cell phones. He said he looks at kids and they all look like a monkey at the zoo with a nut! I like that but I think they look like squirrels with a nut.
What I mean is that where I am is where I needed to be two years ago. It is where I need to be now. It is not always easy but it is better than the other choices I had back then.
I guess I had something to write! (-:
Megan
Thanks Helene for your nice response. Nice to have a friend!
I was not offended by the questions because like you said it was nothing that wasn't put on here before but I don't mind looking at it and seeing how things have changed for me.
Anonymous said...
I have a few questions: I'd like to know about your first time with your husband. Did you two have a honeymoon? Did you start babymaking right at the start? What did you think the first time you were fucking him and you knew you were going to have a baby? Do you like sex now? Is it your idea or his idea to have sex? You ever do it and not want to? What does he do when you don't want to have sex? What do your sisterwives think of quiverfull and providentialism?
1. No, we really didn't have a honeymoon.
2. Yes, we started babymaking right at the start.
3. It scared the hell out of me.
4. Most of the time.
5. His most of the time.
6. Yes.
7. He pesters me until I say yes or just give in.
8. Mostly we just accept it.
There is another post about patriarchal crap and it is funny the person wrote about me having three husbands. I have been on email with someone who is writing a story with a woman who has more than one husband and I guess if you can have a man with three wives then I guess a woman can have three husbands. Why not?
If we were talking about gay polygamy or whatever you would call it then I don't think anyone would care. Like if five gay men or five lesbian women lived as a family would they get in trouble or would anyone who reads this blog care about it? I don't think so. I also don't think anyone would care if a woman lived with three men and had their kids. Maybe she could also call all of them her husbands.
With our situation the thing is that women from inside the church have a choice about what they do and not all of them marry and have kids. Most families in the church are a man and a woman and maybe 1/3 of them are poly families. It is expensive to be poly and you have to do a lot of things first before the church approves of your being a poly family. That means you need to be married for a while, have kids of your own, and be totally debt free and not many people can do all of that.
Women from outside the church, like me, accept the patriarchy and the Providentialism as part of our lives because this life is better than what we left behind. All of the women I know who joined the church left something worse behind them and this can be VERY hard to take sometimes but it is still soooo much better than being homeless, abused, around drugs and alcohol, single mom no one wants to date, and more.
Here I go with this:
I know I have a lot of friends on line and some of them know this but not all.
When I was sixteen my father was out of prison on parole and he was way into meth and I was seriously hoping the probation officers would test him and send him back to jail but he was always sober when they showed up and they did not test him so that didn't happen. One time my mom was out of the house and he was doing a lot of meth and he raped me. He got more prison time for that and then he died and now I finally feel safer.
It left me seriously messed up and my mom was not a lot of help because she was doing meth too. She is off it now and is starting a new life but the two years between when I was raped and when I married into my family she was all about the pipe. College was not going to happen and getting a job in Sacramento and getting a place of my own was not going to happen.
When I was 17 it got into my head that I wanted a baby and I wanted a baby bad. Yeah, I know all the psychological stuff about wanting a baby to love and being emotionally f*cked up and it was all true for me. I knew it at the time that I was messed up but that changed nothing. I also knew I wanted a safe place to be in and I wanted to be with people who already had a safe home. When Christie invited me to visit I cried the first time when I left because what they had was such a dream to me.
But why didn't I just marry a guy my age? Guys my age are addicted to their phones and their video games the same way my parents were into meth. I don't know ANY guys under 30 who have it together in any way and I was not going to wait until I was 30 to start a life when I needed a life at 18. So I married Steve and my family and I accepted the sex and the patriarchy as part of what I chose to do all on my own because even with the things that are hard this is still almost a dream compared to what I left behind.
You know the biggest change for me? I live in a house that is CLEAN. No dirty clothes on the floor, no trash piled up and stinking, no dirty dishes caked with goo, and no one on meth stealing everything that is worth anything so they can have their white dragon. We have some drama here but we NEVER have the probation officers busting in at 3am to do a check, we never have the police just messing with us because they know we are trouble, we don't go from one apartment to another because my mom or dad smoked the rent money and we got evicted again. I am not sleeping on my cousins couch. Or in the car.
I came to this wanting a safe place and I wanted babies and I have both. It is not a big fantasy land because all of that came with something too. The safe place and clean house takes a LOT of hard work and that is part of why I am not on the net a lot. Christie is working again and she is not even home right now. Steve and Tab are gone on work. Me and Macy and Hannah are doing everything at home right now and it is a lot of work. Having my babies meant being with Steve and he is a WONDERFUL man and he tries his best with me and he has been patient with me when it is the right thing and he has not been patient with me at time when that was the right thing too. He knows about my past and he has done what he thought was right and I look back and I think it was all fine because things are turning out pretty good.
He knew what was best for me and I was forced to trust him if I wanted to stay and things turned out pretty good I think. I know that is called patriarchal but is that wrong? It is hard to let someone else make your important choices for you but if they make better choices for you than you know you can make yourself then isn't that a good thing? I think it is.
I was up last night and saw a TV show about models in New York city and all the hard things they do. My life is a lot easier than that! And the men in the fashion business use them like toys and go on to the next girl. THAT is abusive patriarchal(ism?) to me! Poly is easy compared to being a model in New York.
I don't think this would work for most women and I REALLY don't think this kind of poly would work for most men. Most guys my age will never know what it is like to own a car or a house or be debt free. Most of them live with their parents.
I liked a comedian we saw on TV and he said people my age are stupid with the cell phones. He said he looks at kids and they all look like a monkey at the zoo with a nut! I like that but I think they look like squirrels with a nut.
What I mean is that where I am is where I needed to be two years ago. It is where I need to be now. It is not always easy but it is better than the other choices I had back then.
I guess I had something to write! (-:
Megan
Thursday, August 18, 2011
My last post for a while.
Just taking a break until I have something to write about that doesn't sound like I am whining all the time.
I also went back and read my blog from beginning to end and I realized it is not anything to be all that proud of. That makes me really appreciate the people who read it and were friends to me anyway! Thank you!
Megan
I also went back and read my blog from beginning to end and I realized it is not anything to be all that proud of. That makes me really appreciate the people who read it and were friends to me anyway! Thank you!
Megan
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Questions?
Hi. I'm just not thinking of anything to write right now and maybe I am a little not in the mood. If anyone has any questions please post them and I will respond. If you want to ask a personal question you can email me if you want.
megancwinkler@yahoo.com
Been working at a restaurant in town the past few Friday and Saturday nights and it has been nice to get out. They just need extra help until Labor Day and then after that I will go back to working when they cater or have parties. I love my family but getting to talk to people about things like movies and college and the news instead of babies and livestock and all has been nice.
Time to get lunch on. Have a nice weekend!
Megan
megancwinkler@yahoo.com
Been working at a restaurant in town the past few Friday and Saturday nights and it has been nice to get out. They just need extra help until Labor Day and then after that I will go back to working when they cater or have parties. I love my family but getting to talk to people about things like movies and college and the news instead of babies and livestock and all has been nice.
Time to get lunch on. Have a nice weekend!
Megan
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