Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Answers to Questions!

Happy June!

I gave it some extra time on the questions and will answer the ones from my blog plus a couple from email:

Helene wrote:

If you are interested in having a Facebook page, why not create one? There is nothing illegal about your living arrangement, and isn't it time to stop worrying about what others think? I know that you are waiting for polygamy to be legalized, but people may not even be using Facebook anymore by the time that happens. Just a thought.

The problem we have is that polygamy IS illegal even though it hasn't been prosecuted lately. We don't need to attract attention like the Brown family did and end up with legal problems. We also have children and we don't need scrutiny from social workers because they can just take our kids away from us and because we're poly we will have a very hard time getting them back.

I personally don't care if polygamous marriage is ever made legal. All I really want is for us to be left alone and for us not to risk losing our kids if we go public and announce that we love each other and live with each other.

Marcus wrote:

1. Any regrets?
2. Is six children enough?
3. Will there be any more wives in the house?
4. Any worries about brucellosis with the bison?
5. Are you happy?

1. Yes. I regret I didn't grow up in a more normal family and that my mother and father were more interested in their drugs than they were in me. I regret that my brother died when he did.

2. Six children is enough! But will there be more? Probably. I might have as many as ten or twelve children before I stop having kids. We're really doing good financially and it is not a burden on us. At this point I am doing pretty good with the pregnancies and as long as there are no more twins the pregnancies have been easy enough.

3. No. Four is enough.

4. We haven't had any problems with brucellosis (Praise God!) and we're careful to watch for any possible contact with elk or wild bison to prevent it from hitting our herd.

5. Compared to my life before marriage, yes I am. This isn't perfect, I know, but I have a loving family, we have food on the table, no bill collectors call us, no police bust in the door at 3am in the morning, and there are no drugs and no epic fights in the house. This is the happiest I've been in ten years!

Anonymous wrote:

In your much earlier blog posts you hinted about your first time with Steve not being completely consensual. Care to elaborate?

I will do my best to answer this. I think this also answers part of the next question that Robyn wrote.

To start off my first sexual experience was when my meth-head father raped me at age 16. That messed me up pretty bad and I know it will be with me in some way or another all the rest of my life. It has been easier since my father died but I still have issues.

When I was 17 my mother was wrapped up in drugs and I was wanting to love and be loved and I had a serious urge to have a baby and be a mom. When the FLDS raid in Texas happened I was taken with the idea of women who lived together with a man so they were not alone with him and that was something I wanted to look at. I looked at some groups online and when I eventually met my family things moved really fast. In less than two months of knowing the family I was married and even though it was my choice to put off the wedding night I chose to be traditional.

Steve gave me my privacy in the bedroom and I was undressed and waiting for him in bed. He came to bed and when things started to happen I was scared mostly because of my first experience and not Steve and he knew this. So he just took charge and got it over with so we could move past it. Six years later I think he did the right thing for me.

Robyn wrote:

Why did you choose this lifestyle and are you happy with the choice?
What are the high points (Other than your children) of living with your family and is there anything you regret with your decision?

Not being alone with a man was a very big reason for me to choose poly and I also liked it because I like having friends built into the relationship. I am happy with the choice and where a lot of people can't imagine living like this I can't imagine living in a house with just a husband and kids. Who do I get to talk to when he's at work? And I really never wanted to work as a career so being a mom is what I wanted and poly people are mostly traditional in a lot of ways so this let me be a mom and stay home all the time.

The other high points for me is that with other women in the house the chores get done easier. It's also easy to get time away from my kids because there is always someone who can watch them for me so I can take time for a break. I do the same for them too. We share on breast feeding too and that is a HUGE thing because with a newborn that means I can usually get solid sleep if someone else can watch the baby and feed the baby for me. And then I do the same for my sister wives.

Caring for and feeding the babies is a huge thing to me and it makes me feel very close to and very loving on my sister wives! How can you ever be mad at someone who gets up at 2am and breast feeds your baby so you can sleep? Or if it has to happen they can get up and bring the baby to me so I can feed him or her without getting out of bed.

I seriously think a lot of 'normal' women are missing such a wonderful thing when they don't have another woman in the house with them! You will never have closer friends and I say that because my old friends ended up leaving me when I came into this family. My friend Carmen hasn't returned a message in forever and she was my closest friend from before.

Regrets. I have a few but they're more like daydream things like "What if?" and not really regrets. The truth is that I did what was right for me at the time I did it. If I didn't do this I would have missed out on so much and one thing is I would have missed out on the homeschooling with the older girls. I basically did high school all over again with them and I learned SO MUCH! My writing improved, I learned math, I learned history, and so much more. Sometimes the blessings from this decision haven't been obvious and I only see them as I look back at who I was before.

Questions from Erica in email:

1. Are you still wearing prairie dresses?
2. Do you enjoy sex with your husband or is it something you have to do?
3. Would you want your daughters to be poly?
4. Does your church have "extra" boys like the FLDS?

1. I never said we wore prairie dresses. A farm dress is just a simple dress you can wear around a farm or ranch. This is a farm dress like something we would wear around here:

2. Yes, I enjoy sex! And it is sometimes something I have to do. If my husband comes to me and wants my attention then unless I am really not in the mood or sick or something then I will be there for him because he works hard to provide for my children and me.

3. I want my daughters to be happy. However they decide to do that is up to them.

4. No, we do not kick people out like can happen with the FLDS. Our church has actually taken in some FLDS boys and they have turned out to be really nice men.

A question from Dan from email:

I'd love to know more about the role of touch (in your family) and how touch is important to you.

We touch each other all the time. Sometimes it's just a touch on the back, someone caressing your hair, or maybe holding your hand when we're watching TV at night. But there is always a loving touch happening and it is sometimes hard to deal with people in the "real world" who are so uncomfortable with just a simple touch. You can tell no one ever touches them and that they never touch anyone else. Part of it is this sickness in the world where some sick people think everything is sexual harassment or sexual assault. If that is how you see the world then you should plan on being very, very lonely!

I grew up without a lot of touching and it was a big adjustment to get used to intimate but non-sexual touching in this family. The kids cuddle up with us and we cuddle up with each other and we comb hair for each other and all sorts of other little things that a lot of people don't do and that's just sad.

How people don't get depressed or go crazy living their lives without anyone ever touching them or being in fear of touching someone else because they might get offended is mind-boggling to me!


I hope that answers everything!

- Megan

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Questions & Answers

It's been a long time since I've taken any questions and I figured it is a good time. I'll probably let this sit here for a couple weeks so hopefully there are a few questions on it.

Ask anything you want and I'll do my best to answer you honestly and completely. Don't worry about going out of bounds because I won't get offended or anything. Promise!

- Megan

Saturday, May 2, 2015

May 2, 2015


A few things have happened and I have some time so it is time for an update.

Back in January Christie lost her baby and it was a pretty sad time in the house. She's doing much better now and is thinking about another baby maybe.

Both Cydne and Macy had little girls! We seriously need more boys in this house! But the girls are really cute and it's impossible to resist loving on them!

My pregnancy is doing fine and I am still due around the first part of September.

My little girls are five years old now! OMG I can't believe how fast the time went by! It's crazy that my little girls are starting first grade in the fall! Laura is still my little cuddle bug and Patty is the tom boy who loves the animals and being outside with the boys.

Steve has been home almost all year because the oil business is not doing much right now. We're okay and he's doing other things and he's just holding out for when oil prices go up again and things pick up.

We don't have anymore cattle anymore. We're running bison and a small flock of sheep who mostly help keep the grass down. I still have about 100 chickens and we get plenty of eggs and some of them get sold. But my egg business is mostly gone for now.

I'm still quilting. It's kind of relaxing to me anymore.

We're watching the gay marriage thing in the supreme court because it will probably legalize poly if it legalizes gay marriage. If we get legalized I am totally getting a Facebook page! It will be nice to post pictures with everyone in them and not be afraid of any trouble from it!

That is it for right now so I hope all of you are doing well!

- Megan

Sunday, November 30, 2014

" + "

I can't even begin to say how long I've waited for this! I checked on Saturday and then got up early this morning (it's 5:30am right now) and checked again to make sure and I'm pregnant! I figure I'm due in September and that will be awesome!

I just had to share this! (-:

Love to you all!

- Megan

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

November 2014

It is zero Fahrenheit (yay spell check!) outside as I write this. We've had some snow but not enough to get the snowmobiles out just yet. The change in the season is normal but it is always a surprise to me as if I expected the summer to last forever. No more bare feet around the house, my summer dresses are put away and the mom-jeans and sweats have come out along with my boots. The kids are bundled up when they go outside to play and do chores, they're more interested in the hot tub than they were a month ago, and I now have lots of company in the kitchen when I'm cooking because it's the warmest room in the house!

Steve's work is starting to slow down because of the drop in oil prices but he still has enough to do with the oil companies going from building drilling rigs to building maintenance shops, offices, and real housing for their workers instead of trailers and containers. The upside is he's home a lot more than before and we're all happy to have him home. Hate to be selfish but being the only wife in the house who isn't pregnant right now I am getting more of his attention than usual and getting to have his company at night a lot more. It's been over a year since I was last pregnant and I can't imagine it will be long before I am pregnant again.

Laura and Patty started their kindergarten curriculum and I'm getting to be their teacher and that means I'm learning almost as much as they are! I was terrible in school and school was not that much fun for me but the homeschool studies are pretty easy to understand and learning a few things is not that hard.

Hannah is doing well at college and she will be home for Thanksgiving. She was gone over the summer doing a paid internship at a winery in Oregon so we didn't see her very much. There's no boyfriend to report so far and she says she wants to focus on finishing school before she thinks about having someone else in her life. I'm happy for her that she's focused on accomplishing something and creating a life for herself.

There's been less time for quilting lately but I'm hoping to get a Christmas quilt done for the shelter in Denver. It's got a lot left to do but I hope to get it done before Thanksgiving.

The best part of 2014 to me is that we have not had a lot of family drama this year. It's just been a nice year with a lot of happy times, lots of cuddles, and some awesome late night skinny dipping in the pool with all of the lights off. It's so amazing to be in the water and to look up and see so many stars! You never see stars like this when you live in a city! And when you're out there you hear the coyotes yipping and sometimes we even hear wolves.

If 2015 is half as good as 2014 it will be an awesome year!

Love to you all!


Sunday, October 5, 2014

October 2014

Happy Fall!

It's my favorite season of the year! The leaves all look so beautiful, there's a crispness in the air in the morning, coffee smells better this time of year and so does the kitchen with the fall baking season in swing! And, yes, I will probably gain a few pounds before the end of the month!

Let me answer a few questions:

I still work as needed to help out at a resort near here when they need me. Even though I prefer baking breads they like me to work doing prep and assisting with pastries. Once in a while they let me do my sourdough rolls which I am pretty close to perfecting. I briefly boil them like a bagel (and it heats them up inside to make them rise faster) and then I use a sweetened egg wash on them before baking them to a light golden brown. They're small, they're expensive, but they're tasty!

My favorite recipe right now is Portuguese Sweet Bread. The kids all love it and the house smells so lovely when I bake them! I usually make six loaves at a time and it'll be gone by the end of the day. I'm experimenting with different pans and have had some success with greased and floured clear glass pans. The traditional pie pan is okay but the bread almost always sticks to it and it just bugs me.

After five babies I most often feel tired. I hope that answers that one person's question (Marcus swears it wasn't him and I believe him.)

Right now I am the only one of us in the house who isn't pregnant. Macy and Cydne are both due around next April and Christie is due in late June. I'm getting a lot of attention lately so I imagine it won't be a long time before I have news of my own!

I am ready to do this again. It's funny how after Sarah was born I swore she was going to be my last baby and then time went by, she was weaned, she started sleeping through the night, I got some sleep...and then I started to miss being pregnant. I don't know how to explain it, it's like this building need inside me to want to be a mom another time. It's like this itch that has to be scratched is the best way I can describe this.

Steve's oldest daughters are doing well. Hannah is transferring from her first college to a new one so she can follow her major. She wants to study viticulture and enology and then get a job in the wine business and that will probably mean California.

Christie is still doing work and was suppose to be in Dallas last week but skipped it because of the Ebola thing. She says it's safer to be cautious and just go to town where she can use WebEx for a meeting instead of trusting that it is safe to fly. She says a lot of the news about the guy with Ebola was hushed up to make people feel safer. I like what she says about how it is better to actually be safe than to just feel safe.

We haven't had any crazy drama for a long time and that has been a blessing! Boring is nice!!! Steve keeps working and that is good, his business is doing good and the investments are doing good so all of us are getting modest allowances again. It's nice to have extra money to buy things for the kids and to buy stuff for the kitchen when I make my "pilgrimage" to the restaurant supply in Salt Lake City! I say 'pilgrimage' because Macy says I worship there! LOL!!!

Getting on time for me to start dinner so I will stop here.

God Bless and Keep all of you!

Love, Megan

Monday, August 4, 2014

Been a while. August 4, 2014

Hi there!

It's been a while and I have enjoyed the break from the drama and it's been nice to have the email drop off.

But I got a note from a friend who said I should post an update so here goes:

We're having problems with the US Park Service coming on our land. Twice now they've cut our fence and tried to steal some of our tagged bison claiming they 'wandered off' of their land! They're clearly tagged as our bison but I guess if you're the government then it's okay to do whatever the fuck you want. We're probably just going to go back to Black Angus because this is too much hassle and we know we can't win. We just need to get the calves grown enough to sell and then we'll stop bison ranching.

Steve continues to work in the oil fields and he's got a pretty big crew working for him now. Enough of a crew that he is home at least one whole week every month.

And that has had predictable results! (-:

Macy and Cydne are pregnant again and Christie and I expect to be expecting soon enough. We've been loving having Christie home from her work and the house has been a lot more 'alive' with her home! The babies are all doing well. Christie's boy Eric is six now and he's a big help around the house. He can even drive the small yard tractor and he's pretty good at it! Of course, he only gets to do this with an adult right close by.

My twins are four now and Laura is reading and Patty is more the tomboy and is more interested in the animals than she is with things in the house and learning to read. My boys are doing well and toddling and my Sarah Michelle is still my momma's girl and has to be held a lot every day.

Church is good but we lost some members as people moved away looking for work. The oil boom has been wonderful for us but not every family is able to make money on it. Things are still hard for a lot of people.

I'm still quilting and manage to make about one a month.

The chickens are doing good but I'm down to about thirty of them because it was so much work.

We still have our Polish guys helping on the ranch and they are awesome! One of them brought over his wife and they live in one of the houses out by the main road. They're nice people and VERY Catholic and they know we're poly and we know they won't be. We get along really well.

Can't think of anything else to write right now so I will close up.

I'm still open to questions if anyone cares.

Love to you all!

- Megan