Saturday, February 13, 2016

Questions from Jay D. and answers from Megan!

I got this in email just now and wanted to answer it before I went outside! My answers are in blue!

Hi Megan,

I am considering entering into the poly lifestyle.  I am getting somewhat serious with a woman who will become my first wife.  We are both very excited and sincerely want to pursue this as a lifestyle. 

I have a few practical questions. 

How many wives and children are in your family currently?  Am I correct in that it is currently You, Christie, and Cydne? 

Yes, it's Christie, Cydne, and myself. Christie currently has four children, Cydne has two, and I have six.

 What kind of vehicle(s) does Steve own to cart you all around in?  does he have a big 15 passenger van or something? 

Funny you ask because the one vehicle we don't have is a big van! We almost never go out all of us at the same time so this has never really been a big problem. And we have trucks and SUV's that can all get around in the snow.
Are any females currently pregnant in your family?  or actively trying to get that way?

No one is pregnant right now but both Christie and Cydne are working on it and I imagine one of them will be expecting some time soon!

How large is the home you live in?  How many bedrooms, baths, living spaces, etc.  What are the sleeping arrangements for the adults and the children usually?  How large is the farm you live on?  What kind of crops & animals do you raise?  Does the farm turn a profit?  Or is it just kind of a hobby? 

We have a ranch that has a few buildings and a guest house. Right now no one is living in the guest house so we have enough room in the main house for everyone. The kids share rooms and sometimes so do the adults! (-:

We have a ranch and about two acres of it is for a farm. It's mostly for us but we give away the excess to people at church. We have been running bison for a few years now and they're tons easier to take care of than cattle and you don't have to worry about them with the cold and predators as much. The ranch turns a profit or we wouldn't be doing it!

Have you and Steve and the sisters discussed how many kids would be too many?  Is there ever a point where Steve might stop wanting to have more babies just because the house is full, or for financial reasons?

Nope.

Do all you sister wives, and Steve all own a legal share in the house and property?  How is this handled legally and with the family finances?  Was there some kind of prenuptial agreement that had arrangements for if the unthinkable happened (Like Macy & Shari leaving).

Everyone of the adults has an equal share in everything and like when Macy left she got 20% which was almost all of our cash. The same thing happened when Shari left but there were other things she took when she left.
Do any of your sisters work or do anything to make money?  Or is this 100% Steve’s department?

Christie does tax stuff on the side and I cook and cater sometimes if there is work but Steve handles all the important things like the house, bills, and etc.

Thanks, and I still love reading your blog. 


Sincerely,

Jay D.

You're welcome! (-:

Saturday, January 30, 2016

70 Questions from Jolie

Jolie is an LDS lady living in Canada and she sent me the following questions (with my answers next to them)

  • 01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
  •  
    Nope.
     
  • 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?
  •  
    My daughter Patty.
     
  • 03: Do you regret anything?
  •  
    Yes.
     
  • 04: Are you insecure?
  •  
    Yes.
     
  • 05: What is your relationship status?
  •  
    Married. Sort of.
     
  • 06: How do you want to die?
  •  
    In bed surrounded by many, many great grandchildren, grandchildren, and children!
     
  • 07: What did you last eat?
  • A simple salad.
     
  • 08: Played any sports?
  •  
    Volleyball in high school.
     
  • 09: Do you bite your nails?
  •  
    Sometimes.
     
  • 10: When was your last physical fight?
  •  
    Geez. Tenth grade, I think.
     
  • 11: Do you like someone?
  •  
    Yes.
     
  • 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?
  •  
    Nope, never!
     
  • 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?
  •  
    No one in particular, nope.
     
  • 14: Do you miss someone?
  •  
    Macy.
     
  • 15: Have any pets?
  •  
    Oh yes!!!
     
  • 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?
  •  
    Pensive. Wondering what the year will have in store for me.
     
  • 17: Ever made out in the bathroom?
  •  
    (-:
     
  • 18: Are you scared of spiders?
  •  
    A little but not like they make me scream.
     
  • 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
  •  
    No, but I'd go forward if I could.
     
  • 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? (Snogged = a romantic kiss)
  •  
    In bed.
     
  • 21: What are your plans for this weekend?
  •  
    I don't really have any plans. Going to church tomorrow is about the only thing I have planned.
     
  • 22: Do you want to have kids? How many?
  •  
    I have six children and not sure about more right now.
     
  • 23: Do you have piercings? How many?
  •  
    Nope, none.
     
  • 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?
  •  
    Any more my best subject is reading/writing!
     
  • 25: Do you miss anyone from your past?
  •  
    Old friends who cut ties with me when I chose this life.
     
  • 26: What are you craving right now?
  •  
    A dark beer. Seriously!!!
     
  • 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
  •  
    Yes, but he was a stalker. Not sure if that counts or not.
     
  • 28: Have you ever been cheated on?
  •  
    Not really.
     
  • 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
  •  
    Nope.
     
  • 30: What’s irritating you right now?
  •  
    Hillary Clinton. Why isn't she in jail for what she did with her email?
     
  • 31: Does somebody love you?
  •  
    YES!!! LUCKY ME!!!
     
  • 32: What is your favourite color?
  •  
    Blue.
     
  • 33: Do you have trust issues?
  •  
    Issues? I have subscriptions!!!!
     
  • 34: Who/what was your last dream about?
  •  
    I can't remember.
     
  • 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?
  •  
    My husband.
     
  • 36: Do you give out second chances too easily?
  •  
    Probably.
     
  • 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?
  •  
    I forget.
     
  • 38: Is this year the best year of your life?
  •  
    I hope it will be!!!
     
  • 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?
  •  
    My first real romantic kiss was when I was 18.
     
  • 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
  •  
    Yes, to go swimming!
     
  • 51: Favourite food?
  •  
    Dessert!
     
  • 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
  •  
    I don't know.
     
  • 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
  •  
    Kissed my baby when I put her down for the night.
     
  • 54: Is cheating ever okay?
  •  
    No.
     
  • 55: Are you mean?
  •  
    I can be. Mess with my children and I think I can be pretty awful!
     
  • 56: How many people have you fist fought?
  •  
    Around five maybe.
     
  • 57: Do you believe in true love?
  •  
    Yes, but I don't think it happens for everyone.
     
  • 58: Favourite weather?
  •  
    Winter.
     
  • 59: Do you like the snow?
  •  
    Yes! I LOVE it!!!
     
  • 60: Do you wanna get married?
  •  
    I'd love to be legally married some day!!!
     
  • 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
  •  
    I never really thought of it before. I suppose it's nice.
     
  • 62: What makes you happy?
  •  
    A baby in my arms.
     
  • 63: Would you change your name?
  •  
    Nope.
     
  • 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
  •  
    Nope.
     
  • 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
  •  
    I don't have a Best Guy Friend so it's not a worry.
     
  • 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
  •  
    Nope.
     
  • 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
  •  
    My husband.
     
  • 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
  •  
    Christie.
     
  • 69: Do you believe in soulmates?
  •  
    Yes, I do.
     
  • 70: Is there anyone you would die for?
  •  
    My family, my friends, and my country.

    Thursday, January 21, 2016

    Answers from my friends!

    Hello!

    Recently I asked a few questions of my readers and here are the answers that came via email:

    Joe R. wrote:

    Welcome to 2016 and Happy New Year! 


    So something a little different here for my very first post of the new year!

    I have some questions for YOU! Feel free to answer anonymously if you want or you can answer in email and I'll publish them anonymously if you want! 

    1. Why do you read this blog? What do you get from it and what are you looking for from it?

    Hi Megan, I read your blog for inspiration!  I get a glimpse into a life that I want for myself.  I think your poly family is so beautiful and amazing.  I read your blog so I can get insight as to what I might do to create a poly family of my own, with happy sister wives living with me.  I very much want to marry and have babies.   :) :) :) 

    2. Poly: Are you for or against or…?   

    I am absolutely for it, and I want this lifestyle for myself.

    3. Are you poly curious? If so, care to tell me what you might be looking for in a poly situation? 

    I am more than poly curious.  I am looking for a beautiful young woman to become my wife who wants to live like this with me, and walk in this path together before God.

    4. Do you have any children? If no do you want any? 

    Yes, I have one son from a previous relationship.  I LOVE being a father more than anything in the world, and yes I absolutely want more babies.  I want my son to have lots of brothers and sisters to grow up with!

    5. How's your relationship doing? 

    I am currently seeking a wife.  

    6. Are you working or are you a student or…?

    Both, actually.  I flew Helicopters in the Army and several many years on active duty.  I am still a reservist and very proud to serve my country.  I am now back in flight training for airplanes, as I transition to a career as a civilian airline pilot.

    7. (Totally optional) How old are you? 
    42
    Megan, please keep me in your prayers.  I am still hoping to meet the beautiful and amazing woman of my dreams.  I am wanting a younger wife, who is wanting to be pregnant!  And also into the idea of building a poly family like yours.  I want a Christian girl who believes in poly.  I live in WA state, so I am open to a woman as young as 16, which is the legal age here.  If you know of any of your friends who wants a quality and loving family man, please let me know.  

    Yours truly,

    Joe
     
    And Dan wrote:
     
    Happy New Year :)

    So... my turn to answer yours!

    1. Why do you read this blog? What do you get from it and what are you looking for from it?

    I read your blog because it's an honest, true account of poly life - the ups and downs and the picture of what a real family is like. I find it inspiring, entertaining and it feels like my support system in a sense for the lifestyle I believe in and want, that I'm not alone in what I want or think about.

    2. Poly: Are you for or against or...?

    I am "for." I dont believe its for everyone, or even most, but I think when done wisely and with communication and of course consent, it can be a very positive thing.

    3. Are you poly curious? If so, care to tell me what you might be looking for in a poly situation? 

    Absolutely. I am looking for a first to start living in a responsible, happy poly home with and pursue building a family together. Someone honest, kind and family oriented, who shares my beliefs.

    4. Do you have any children? If no do you want any? 

    No, but do want. 

    5. How's your relationship doing? 

    See #3.

    6. Are you working or are you a student or...?

    Full time employed small business owner. Saving to provide for my family.

    7. (Totally optional) How old are you? 

    30something :)

    Best,

    Dan
     
     
     
     
     

    Saturday, January 2, 2016

    My questions for all of you!

    Welcome to 2016 and Happy New Year!

    So something a little different here for my very first post of the new year!

    I have some questions for YOU! Feel free to answer anonymously if you want or you can answer in email and I'll publish them anonymously if you want!

    1. Why do you read this blog? What do you get from it and what are you looking for from it?

    2. Poly: Are you for or against or...?

    3. Are you poly curious? If so, care to tell me what you might be looking for in a poly situation?

    4. Do you have any children? If no do you want any?

    5. How's your relationship doing?

    6. Are you working or are you a student or...?

    7. (Totally optional) How old are you?

    I look forward to your answers!

    - Megan

    Sunday, December 13, 2015

    Dan's questions answered

    My apologies to Dan whose questions I missed! Dan is a man who is looking to start a poly family and is still looking for a poly-accepting woman as his first wife.

    Saw your blog comment for questions :)
    So here's a new one for you. If i were courting or just married to my first wife, and you had a chance to talk to her as someone who's been poly for a while now, what advice would you give her as her friend? What would be important points youd think she should know from a female perspective?
     
    A: To be honest my first experience with someone who was a first wife and then had her family become poly was Shari. Shari was Steve's first wife and they were married for seventeen years and had three girls when Christie joined their family as the second wife. Then I joined as the third followed by Macy. That was too much for Shari and she ended up divorcing Steve and moving away.
     
    So my first advice here isn't to your future wife it's to YOU. Be sure that your future wife is really okay with poly and I would say it would be best to find someone who was raised in poly to be your first wife. It would be so much easier for her to accept poly if she were already raised in it...and Shari was already raised in it and it was hard for her to handle! It was an adjustment to have Christie join the family and then me and Macy really made for a shock. And then my advice to her is to know that she won't be the only person in your life but that it can work out if that's what she wants, too. Christie is the new first wife in the house and she LOVES our life and says so all the time and that makes things a lot easier for all of us. We still fight over stuff like anyone else would but we love each other and love how we live and that's what is most important.
     
    There are lots of details I could write here but this is the most important thing if you ask me. Your first wife has to really want to have a second wife in the house right from the start.
     
    - Megan

    Thursday, December 10, 2015

    December Answers

    Merry Christmas to everyone if I don't get a chance to say it later!

    I have some time and wanted to answer your questions...

    From Darja:

    1. Do you want your daughters to be poly? If so, how old do you want them to be before you let them marry?

    A: I want my daughters to choose their own path and I'd like them to be 18 before they get married.

    2. Are you going to have more babies?

    A: Probably. I'm trying to take some time right now and would like to wait at least a year before there's another baby.

    3. You used to be reluctant or fearful about pregnancies. Has that changed? Are you more welcoming of becoming pregnant now?

    A: I'm not afraid of it for sure! And I will admit that there are times when I really miss the feeling of being pregnant. I guess yeah that I do end up welcoming being pregnant again. I hadn't thought this through until your question so thank you for that one!

    4. Someone asked if you would be willing to be a surrogate mother and I'm curious, too.

    A: I'd consider it for a loving Christian family. I think I'd have to know them because I can't imagine having a baby and then never being a part of his or her life after that.

    5. Macy left your family. Will she be replaced with someone else?

    A: That's just too soon to say. Maybe is the best answer I can give right now.

    6. Can you post one or more of your favorite recipes?

    A: I'll do this in a separate post real soon! Promise!

    From Helene:

    1st question: How do you logically explain the phenomenon of wives subordinating themselves to the concept of the male head of household, and then working outside the home to help “provide”?

    A: Steve is the spiritual head of the family and we follow his lead on a lot of things. We depend on him for most things but we still like to have our own money for things we want. But not all the work we do is for money, I still make quilts for women's shelters and for fundraisers and I use some of the money I earn at working to pay for quilting supplies. I guess you can call that a hobby because quilting is relaxing to me and it's something I can do and hold a baby at the same time. Macy and Cydne never worked so it's not like we have to work we just choose to.

    2nd question: Specifically, how do you justify, logically, economically, and morally, creating 6 children, and then spending your time in a resort to earn money, and spending money to hire a helper at home?

    A: I think I answered some of that in my first answer. I work so I have my own money. We hire helpers sometimes because we just need the help around the house and sometimes the helpers are like myself and Cydne and they might be considering joining our family or another family and they just want to see what its like. We had a helper over the summer and she was awesome around the house and then in the fall she chose to go to college and that was fine. I guess I should say that when I am out of the house its nice to take a break from being a 24/7 mommy and then I get to enjoy a different responsibility. I mean I love my life but cooking is a kind of me-time and getting a chance to do it outside of the house is wonderful and I get paid for it, too!

    From Marcus by email:

    1. What happens to you and your kids if Steve dies? He's old enough that you guys should think about it.

    A: We have a plan for it and the plan is us wives will stay together and run the ranch and keep living together. Maybe other things might happen but that is our plan for now.

    2. Would you marry again if something happened to Steve?

    A: I don't know. If I had to say so right now the answer would be no.

    From Andrew by email:

    You still keep in touch with your mother?

    A: Yes. We don't talk a lot anymore but we email and there are cards in the mail and stuff.

    You never mention any siblings, why not?

    A: My brother died when I was fourteen and my parents didn't have any other kids. I miss my brother but we were never really close so I never really got to know him. He was into his own thing and the two of us never had a lot to do with each other so not a lot of things ever remind me of him if that makes sense.

    Do you love your husband in a romantic way now?

    A: I love him but is it all Romeo and Juliet? It never was. He knows I didn't exactly love him at first but love took time and when it came along it was something different from romantic love but it is still love just the same.

    I hope that answers all your questions!

    - Megan

    Thursday, December 3, 2015

    Answers & Questions

    Happy December!!

    First off Christie is doing better after things got rough for a little bit. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers!

    My little Cathy is doing great and she's a very, very happy little girl!!! She's also developed red hair like her sister Laura!

    I haven't posted much this year so I thought I would open this up to your questions and I promise you'll get an answer! Feel free to ask anything you want and that includes personal stuff. The only topic off limits are some questions about my children.

    In the meantime I hope you all have a bee-yoo-tee-full Christmas!

    Hugs!

    Megan