Friday, July 31, 2009
Macy's wedding is tomorrow and I am Maid of Honor which is really cool. She is just having me stand there with her so it is not like it is a big wedding party. Steve is friends with Peter and will be standing there for Peter as Best Man.
Macy is wearing Lisa's wedding dress and it will be a church thing and then the next day we have the monthly Church Sunday and that will be at Pastor Jeff's home. It will be a big party weekend and the nice thing is not a lot of cooking at home and not a lot of kitchen cleaning to do. I love all the time with everyone from the church and it will be fun.
I am just going to stop there because I have a lot to do tonight. Everyone have a nice weekend!
A New York steak, medium, with garlic & carrot mashed potatoes and asparagus spears.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
There are already four books I have to be reading so tonight I have a lot of homework and I need to be doing it.
I had an email about the Honesty post and all the comments and I am just letting it go. Have fun!
Time for me to go do a lot of reading!
Monday, July 27, 2009
1. I once worked at a gift shop in Skagway, Alaska for the summer.
2. I went skydiving and my parents never found out.
3. My favorite steak is a New York.
4. I've never smoked a cigarette.
5. Never did any drugs.
6. I love satin anything.
7. I love being in bed with sheets on it that just came out of the dryer.
8. I hate crowds.
9. Never liked any kind of rap music because it is so angry.
10. I never had a computer until last Christmas.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Because Minty http://polgygynyitis.blogspot.com/ tagged me too I get to write 20 things.
I really wanted something happy to do today so I really appreciate this! Thank you CM & Minty!
1. I get to be a Maid of Honor for the first time next week!
2. Blueberry ice cream is my favorite ice cream of all.
3. Going barefoot in the summer is my favorite part of summer.
4. I had my first kiss when I was 14.
5. I'm 5'10" tall.
6. I love being kissed on the neck.
7. I hate paisley patterns on anything.
8. I have aphasia.
9. My normal temperature is 95.7 to 96.1 and if my temperature is ever 98.5 it means I'm really, really sick.
10. I used to party and drink a lot. I mean A LOT.
11. I never slept with anyone before I moved here and now I love having anyone sleeping in my bed with me and I'm sorry I never did this before when I was growing up.
12. My favorite things to wear are shorts, tank tops, and flip-flops.
13. I flunked English my freshman year of high school.
15. Algebra, too.
16. I didn't go to my high school proms.
17. I didn't vote for Obama.
18. I like Taylor Swift.
19. I never did like Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera.
20. I will do really stupid things for chocolate.
Demoiselle thinks I am a 50 year old pervert luring girls into polygamy. That's part of what is so funny with people who just can't believe I am happy is that they have to come up with an explanation for me so they can feel better about being right. The truth is that for a couple weeks there were a lot of girls emailing me and wanting to check things out and then I sent them to Pastor Jeff who said no to all of them except Macy who was really serious about wanting to be here. For a long time now no one is emailing me so no one is being lured here, okay? Even me when I first came here everyone was trying to get me to leave to make sure I really wanted to stay. They don't want you here if you don't really, really, REALLY want to be here. No one is lured here and it is the other way around that people who come here are not encouraged to stay. Demoiselle if it makes you happy to think what you want then okay. Call me anything you want and I will agree so you can say you won your little game and then you can move on to the next person to trash them and then leave me alone.
ALM, I was really hurt to see what you wrote after you got your answer. No one here runs around quoting the Bible saying "See, we're right!" on polygamy or anything else. I explained in my first posts how this came to be and it really was not started because of anyone believeing anything in the Bible. It just happened and people were happy with it and that is what happened. You asked me for religious reasons why we think this is okay and I got your question answered. By the way most of the families in our church are regular couples with kids and they won't be poly so it isn't something we make people do like maybe the FLDS do. But about the question I don't like that you set me up just so you could be happy about yourself. If I don't answer anymore of your questions in the future this is why.
What is sad is I came on here to write some happy news and now I am just going to save it for another time.
Sorry I don't feel like putting a happy feeling here.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
This part is from Pastor Jeff:
When read in the metaphorical context of the original Aramaic the use of the word 'wife' in the singular tense in Genesis and Deuteronomy denotes the relationship of marriage as being between a man and a woman but not between the women who were the wives of that man. In Aramaic a'aan tat is a wife and in the proper context you have to recognize that there is no plural form of a'aan tat in Aramaic because the relationship was not plural, it was singular between one man and one woman. Yet the man could also have other singular relationships that were not shared with anyone else. To clarify this, in Levitcan law a man could have multiple singular marriage relationships yet if a woman proposed to share a husband's relationship with one of his other wives she was breaking that law by laying with another woman. The sum of this is that the passages some people say are about monogamous marriage are literally about the relationship between a man and a woman not being shared with his other wives or concubines. Therefore, unless a man is a priest or a bishop or a deacon in the church he is not prohibited from having more than one wife.
To me it is simpler that God is okay with it because so many people are happy this way. It isn't perfect and it isn't for everyone I know but it is for some of us and no one should have a right to tell us we can't live this way.
The smell of fresh cut grass.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
- Our dresses for around the yard and house go below the knee and have long sleeves. Long dresses would not work on a ranch with cattle.
- I have plenty of rights but you'd have to read some of my earlier posts to know about them.
- Steve is older than me and I don't care. He is 1000x the man any of the boys I knew before are. If I only get to have 20 years with him then 20 good years are better than 40 okay years with some guy my age. He is the most wonderful and caring man and I would not trade him for anyone.
- There will not be a 4th wife. Shari has said so and that is final. I would not agree to it either because I don't want to share Steve anymore than I already do.
Vanilla ice cream, blueberries, and apricot sauce.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Shari is more like a mom to me than a sister. She is the more serious person in the family and it is okay because she has so much responsibility. She is into the dresses because it was what she was raised with and because skin cancer runs in her family and she is very protective. She also wants the girls to dress modestly. I don't challenge her on this because it is such a small thing and it is the one thing Shari really asks from me so I respect it but when she is not here it is nice to do the shorts and tanks. We do wear the dresses when we go out to work on the ranch or the garden to prevent sunburns and I ignored this one time and Shari warned me once and then after all day in the sun I was hurting. So the rule is about me being safe and not just being old fashioned.
My relationship with church and Jesus and faith is all kind of new for me. I don't write a lot about it because I don't know what to say about it right now. I am learning and I will say that the big things I am learning is that faith and obedience to God has a lot to do with why most families in our church are a lot happier than most families I know from outside the church. I know individual families can be happy without God but I don't know of any groups of families that are happy without God.
The 'rules' the church has have more to do with making sure we have good families than with making us robots who follow rules. I used to think all Christians were like drugged all the time and walking around like zombies repeating Bible stuff that had been brainwashed into them. Now I am seeing that there can be a lot more to it. Like the rules the church has for letting people get married are not about the church but they are about making sure you have a good marriage. There is a lot of attention paid to a man having a good job and then having a home and other things before he gets married. Because most wives do not work the church wants these things done before a marriage.
Like with Stevie getting married her fiance had to buy a house, he had to pay off his truck so there were no payments to worry about, he had to save up a year's pay, and then he had to put up a year's worth of canned and dry food so if he lost his job he and Stevie would be able to eat. While he was saving up for all this the church had him stop tithing and then a lot of people in the church were helping him out to get all this done. It is not like you have to do it all alone.
When it gets done the idea is that a new couple will not have to worry about money and money is a big problem for a lot of couples. This is a rule the church has that is not about the church but about the family.
We don't have a church building and we meet at people's homes every first Sunday of the month and do home church or small group church on the other Sundays. This saves the church money on paying for a building and the money goes to an emergency fund. Pastor Jeff gets a small paycheck every month but he gives that to a missionary in Honduras. Pastor Jeff told me that he gets much more from his work than money and he does not want the money to ever corrupt his heart so he gives it away to make sure. Christie is on the committee that manages the emergency fund and she says the goal is to have enough money set aside that if every family in the church lost their house the church could build them a new one. Right now she says they are past the goal of being able to take care of every family for a year if everyone lost their jobs.
Christie is the older sister I never had. She is smart and fun and she confuses me sometimes that she seems like a rebel but then she is obedient in the things that really matter. We are very close anymore and we are able to talk about anything and I really like that. There are things about Steve I can talk to Christie about that I don't think I could say to Shari and it is nice to have someone around for that. But then there are times when Christie is as serious as a heart attack and it is like she is this different person. When she is doing her work or when she needs to be serious it is like she just becomes this totally different serious person. And then she is the same person who will skinny dip with me late at night and have girl talk like she is 13.
Steve makes me so everything! I know I say Shari is like a mom to me but Steve is definitely a husband and friend to me. I love feeling his touch on me and I don't care if that is just bumping into him in the kitchen. He is so intense when he listens to me talk and he remembers little things I say long after I forgot I said them. He knows I like chocolate covered raisins and he knew this from me talking to Lauren one day and then the next day I had a big jar of chocolate covered raisins on my dresser when I woke up in the morning. He is always doing things to make me happy like the raisins and then giving me an office trailer to use for my chicken coop. I know he said it was an old trailer but it was still good and it could have been used some more so he made a sacrifice to make me happy. We hold hands a lot and sometimes we just cuddle and that is so wondeful to have his arms around me and all he wants is just to hold me. It's very nice when he wants more than that (-: but cuddles are so wonderful! I just feel so safe when I am with him and where I use to be nervous about sex at first now it is something I look forward to because it means I will be with Steve.
All this week Steve has been on a paving job where they are pouring concrete at night because it is too hot to pour it in the day time. He is not home yet and says he won't be home until after 10am and he left the house last night just after 6pm!!! He works really, really hard and he does it because he loves us. To know he is out there all night because he loves me and everyone else makes me love him right back. I know he is a lot older than me and I may lose him someday but I would rather lose him someday than to not have him at all. I don't know how to explain it but when I first met him I fell in love with him. I knew he was the one. He was everything to me that all the boys I knew could never be and he was so special and so much like a real man. Christie says Steve is like Tom Selleck and Sam Elliot but the difference is Steve never acts, he really is this way. I could write about him all day long and never say enough good things about him.
With the girls I am like an older sister and I do not ever try to be a mom to them. Shari is their mom and it is not for me to pretend to be wise when I am not. In a lot of things the girls know a lot more than I do and I really trust them with a lot of stuff. We get a long and we are friends and we love each other but I think that is because we are just trying to be who we are and not trying to be things we are not.
Okay. It has been really hot this week and the chickens are doing fine. I have learned to wet down this place in their yard every morning and then when it is hot you get to see all these chickens sitting there to keep cool. In the afternoons I have to shoo them into their coop and have the ac on to keep them cool but we have been lucky this year because there have only been a few really hot days. Not having hot weather has been bad for the tomatoes and squash and a lot of stuff is still small when it should be huge by now. It is not looking like we will get enough hot weather for the tomatoes and Shari says this might be the first year in a long time she has to buy tomatoe sauce instead of putting up our own. Steve is putting up firewood to season for the winter and is putting up more than the last two years because he says he expects a very cold winter this year and he says a lot of farmers and ranchers are saying it will be cold this winter.
I have to go but my happy thought is a winter time thought. I can't wait for the cold weather!
Hot chocolate, a warm blanket, and bare feet by a fireplace.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
I've said before and will say again that we do have some real problems here and I never really get into them because they don't even compare to the problems I left behind when I came here. So I don't talk about them much because they don't mean so much to me and then the good things here make the bad things insignificant.
Just so you all know my problems here are:
- The girls get into arguments sometimes over who is wearing someone else's clothes or who has someone else's stuff or something else that is really no big deal.
- I don't always get a lot of sleep if I'm taking care of the babies which is something I want to do anyway so it's my fault that I am not sleeping.
- I get up at 5am almost every day.
- I'm not pregnant yet. This is starting to bother me.
- My old friends have nothing to do with me anymore.
- My mom has a new boyfriend and has nothing to do with me anymore.
- Shari likes us girls to wear dresses all the time and I don't mind most of the time but some of the time I like to wear shorts.
- Six people knowing almost every intimate detail of my life. Sometimes this is nice, but sometimes it is embarrassing.
I tried to list the problems I used to have and it is just too sad. Sorry but I am not doing that. I need to move on from the past and let it go. But it was bad, okay? So bad that nothing in the list I have now seems that bad. My new life is not perfect but I don't care. It's like having a big ass diamond that has a few flaws. Who cares if it isn't perfect because it's one big ass diamond and you should be happy to have it! That's me. I got a flawed diamond and I don't really notice the flaws. They are there but they are not what I focus on.
About education I am starting culinary classes soon and will be learning to be a professional chef and I will intern at a restaurant for a while to complete my AA degree. I will have an education that I want but maybe not what everyone else wants. Not everyone is meant for college and I am one of those people.
Minty, I can't see your blog or email you. Is your blog and stuff private?
Chocolate ice cream, strawberries, whipped cream, fudge sauce, and all on a chocolate cake.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Is this the most significant work of writing you've ever done?
Is this significant? This is the most writing I have ever done and it is harder than essays in school because it is all about me. It should have been a chicken blog and it would be easier! Christie has me reading books a lot more and says my grammar will get better if I just read more and maybe that is working. Thank you for noticing that.
One thing I've noticed you don't go into much detail on is your relationship with the church. You've made a few references to the bylaws you're obligated to follow but I don't get any feeling of enthusiasm for the church's teachings. Are you like Christie in this regard, or are you just not allowed to talk about it?
I am studying the Bible and trying to get into the whole Christian thing but right now it is just so new to me. The Pastor asked me how was my walk one day and I had no idea what he meant. It made me wonder if I was limping or something and then he explained it to me and it felt bad having to have that explained to me. Christie and me have a lot in common about this but both of us agree that the life we live because we are trying to be Christian is much better than the life we used to have. I can see how some people are so amazing and wonderful because of their faith and it would be nice to be that way and maybe someday I will be.
Skinny dipping on a hot night.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Stevie (Stephanie) has her wedding set for Saturday September 5. Her fiance got the things done that the church wanted him to do before he could marry so now the two of them are getting married! She is really excited about it and will be getting the dress probably this week. She is not nearly as nervous as I was and says she will be just fine with everything. One of the things that took getting used to was how she and her sisters knew an awful lot about sex and that is just the farm thing. It pays off when it comes time to marry because the girls know exactly what it means to be with someone.
Steve has been working late a lot lately on a big paving project and this week it will be hot so they have to work at night pouring concrete because it will be too hot in the day to pour the concrete. He was home all day today and left for work around 7pm and he won't be back until maybe 8am tomorrow. It was nice having him home during the day. Nothing got done in the house but we did have a lot of fun and it was nice to be able to talk to him a lot.
Christie is really back to normal and is wanting to try for another baby sometime soon but says she will wait until the end of September because that was the earliest the doctor said she could go. One big thing was Eric in the last week started making sentences that actually make sense. He used to say "Water" or "Cup" and then last week he said "Cup of water?" and now today it was "I want juice, please!" Christie and the girls have really been working with him and they have got him saying so much in a really short time. It is like someone turned on his talking all of a sudden and he went from regular baby talk to talking like a little boy. It is so cool to see him grow up.
The chickens are doing well with the heat. We set them loose in the garden today to eat bugs and they did a good job. They ate a lot of tomatoes too but they also cleaned up all the snails and slugs. Before noon we had to get them all put in their coop with the ac on but they had a good time before that. Only a couple of them have a little bit of down anymore and they look mostly like half size chickens. They are called pullets I know but to me they just are half size chickens!
About my writing this takes me so long to write and then spell check that I don't know how I would ever write anything like a book but it is nice that some people think I could! (-:
It is just before 9pm and it is still really hot so it is swim time! Yay!
The smell of pancakes and coffee in the kitchen right as the sun rises in the kitchen window.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Macy was over with her family today and told me this is called 'aphasia' and after reading about it I think so too. I'm not the worst case of this ever but it is still there. There is really nothing for me to do about it but just keep on doing what I do.
But it is nice to know it is for real and not just me.
My other news is I thought I might have been pregnant because of being sick at certain times and Friday I did an EPT and it came up negative so Shari said it was time to see the doctor. The doctor thinks I might have had Swine flu! I'm feeling a lot better now so it just felt like a regular flu to me and we will find out on Monday if it was really Swine flu. For now I am staying away from the babies and Christie and I hate to say this but it has been really nice to get some serious sleep at night.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
The answer to the one question is I did not get my patio and I am not complaining about it. I still got way more than I ever expected.
Macy has been over most days since the man in her house goes off to work and the Mrs. works at a library. We've had some nice talks and she likes to come over and talk to Shari and Christie too. The library is getting their money cut so the Mrs. will be home more real soon and then I will be on here more again.
I wrote a bunch of personal stuff just now and deleted it. I will try writing personal things again sometime soon but right now it feels like inviting people in to see me take a shower.
It has been nice and cool and the chickens are doing good with it. The downside of the cool weather is it is cold out when I go for a swim at night. At least the water is warm.
Christie seems back to normal and Shari's sister is doing fine. Things have been really quiet and not a lot has happened and I think this is good.
Time to stop writing and try to get some sleep. (-}
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Macy really moved out here! I had my doubts for a few reasons but then she arrived on Thursday night and came to the camp out and now she has gone home with the couple she says she wants to marry. They don't have kids so Macy would be bringing children into the family for them and she's just fine with that. She seemed to just fit right in with everything like she was born in this. She says it is because she was in a pretty serious religion before this so this is actually really easy for her. I am going to go see her on Tuesday for lunch and we will get to talk a lot more than we did this weekend.
I didn't know about us going to the the camp out thing until Thursday night and then everyone was wondering why I didn't know about it. I guess I did not pay any attention to the talk. I heard somethings about camping and the weekend but I did not think it meant we were going. I just thought we would be there on Sunday for church is all.
I got to spend more time with some of the other wives and that was pretty cool. Melanie was my new friend from the weekend and she is all excited about me going to cooking school next month. She is a first wife and has been married for a year and is expecting her first baby. She is just three months along but is starting to show.
The weekend did a lot to cheer up Christie and Shari had a good time too. Shari's sister is at home and recovering from her surgery just fine. Thank you to anyone who prayed for her.
That is about enough for right now. It is late and I just wanted to write and say what was up.
I had an email asking me to take questions again and I will. So ask anything you want and I will try to answer it but please keep the questions nice okay? Thanks! (-:
I hope you all had a great 4th of July!