Wednesday, February 18, 2009

My news for the day is that I had to drop my classes at school because I can't transfer them. That left me free to move out and I called my friends and Mr. & Mrs. are coming to get me when Mr. gets off work today. I'm really happy about that because being at home as not been fun since I told my parents about what's happening. This way I'll be out before my mom gets home and can avoid all of her drama.

Mr. says he'll invite my parents to come visit when I get settled in so they can see things are really pretty normal.

I have to come up with some names to call everyone. I can't post real names here for obvious reasons.

I might update this later.

Okay so I got my stuff packed up. Most of it was packed anyway because when my mom and dad separated we moved into an apartment and I just put my boxes in the closet.

I also decided to put some names on people because the Mr & Mrs thing is lame.

So there's Andy who is married to Debbie and both of them are in their 40's. Then there's their second wife Lori who is 28. Andy and Debbie have three girls and Andy and Lori have a little boy with another baby on the way in the next couple weeks. My big job in the house will be to babysit the babies so Lori can do her job. Lori works from home and Andy owns a business and the two of them support everyone.

Their story is Andy and Debbie married in 1987 and had their first baby in 1993. They had two more daughters and Debbie was pregnant in the last couple years but lost the baby. I don't have the whole story on that and I won't be asking. So anyway Andy wanted more kids and so did Debbie and they looked at foster kids and adopting and that was a big hassle so they dropped it. Then they looked at surrogate moms and that was expensive and there were legal problems so they dropped that too. Debbie told me that it was her idea to let Andy look for a second and that they had to talk a long time to work out things between them on that topic. Debbie didn't want Andy to just pick someone up she wanted someone to be part of the family and the two of them came to an agreement on the rules for this.

They didn't meet a lot of people and Andy said that some of the women were just looking for a home for themselves and their kids they already had and he wasn't into that. Then he was on a business trip in Phoenix in 2006 and he met Lori at a hotel and he said he just sat down at the bar with her and they talked and found out they lived real close to each other. Lori was single and says she had some bad relationships before she met Andy and said that Andy was the first guy that just wanted to get to know her and she decided to risk being friends even though he was married. So when they got back to northern California they stayed in touch and then Debbie invited Lori over to have dinner and then they got to be friends.

Debbie said the biggest thing she ever risked was telling Lori that she and Andy were interested in being more than friends. Debbie wasn't sure if Lori would laugh or scream or stop being friends with them. Lori said when Debbie and Andy asked her to join their family it was pretty easy to go from really liking them to loving them. They got a lawyer to do some legal things so they could combine their homes into a partnership and then they sold their homes and put the money together to buy a ranch house that's away from everyone with close to ten acres of land around it.

In November 2006 they had a pastor friend do a marriage ceremony for Andy and Lori and the marriage isn't legal but to them they say they are married in the eyes of God. Lori did the whole wedding dress and everything and her parents and some friends came to it. Lori's family lives in Idaho and I'm supposed to see them sometime in the summer.

They recently added some more acreage by buying a foreclosed property and now they have this weird shape property. The house they bought is really big but not fancy if that makes sense. It was supposed to be a fancy house but something happened when it was under construction and the people who were building it sold it. Andy had it finished without all the fancy stuff and it looks really nice on the outside and kind of plain on the inside. It has six bedrooms and they way they do this is Debbie and Lori share a room, the oldest girl has a room, the two young girls share a room, the baby boy sleeps in Debbie and Lori's room for now, and then Andy has the master bedroom. It makes sense this way. One of Debbie or Lori is always with Andy so they share one room and use it when they're not with Andy. Once in a while they all three sleep together but when they do that nothing sexual goes on. Both Debbie and Lori say they love each other but not that way!

Tonight I will be sleeping in my own room there and writing this is wacking me out! I can't believe I'm really doing this.

Okay then my story is that I like older guys and my last boyfriend from two years ago was a lot older than me. I was 15 at the time and met him at the place I worked and we hit it off and he was SO different from the guys my age. He was really polite, didn't grab at me, he was a total gentelman to me when we met. We were supposed to be just friends but I started crushing on him and after I was 16 one day I kissed him and we started being boyfriend and girlfriend. The age thing made us have to keep it on the down low and I know all the BS about it being wrong and all but I didn't care. We did a lot of making out and I started hanging out after school at his apartment before going home and he helped me a lot with my homework and we also made out a lot. None of which I regret.

Then one time my parents went to Las Vegas and I was supposed to be by myself for two days and my boyfriend came over on the Friday night when my parents left and I let things go too far with the making out and we got into bed naked and I really, really thought we would just cuddle and I was just playing a stupid game in my head thinking I could be that way with a guy and not have anything happen. When he got on me I should have stopped it but it felt so wonderful to have him with me like that I just kissed him and the next thing I know he's having sex with me and it was too late to stop. I added to the stupidity by not having any birth control and when I later panicked about being pregnant it pretty much ended the relationship and then when I wasn't pregnant I was both relieved and disappointed. My family is not very warm or loving and the couple weeks I worried about having a baby were also a couple weeks when I decided I wanted a baby and I wanted to give that baby all the love I could.

So I like older guys and then I wanted a baby. I won't go into all the stupid fantasies I had but there were a lot of them.

And I haven't had a boyfriend since all that happened. I guess I don't trust myself anymore.

Then last summer the thing with the Mormon people in Texas happened and I saw they were polygamists. That made me go learn as much as I could about it and I decided I liked the idea of having girlfriends and a husband. Everyone else said how bad those people were and I'm like so what? If they were all gay no one would say anything. Then I got my computer for Christmas and started learning about poly and I signed up on a poly site and Lori invited me to come visit the family. They were open to having another girl in the house and at first I didn't realize Lori was being more than just friendly to me.

When I visited them it was like a love bomb went off on me. I haven't had so many people so happy to see me ever and I felt like a celebrity coming to visit. After being in the family I grew up in this was like nothing I had ever seen. When they asked me to come back to babysit so Andy, Debbie, and Lori could go out to dinner for Valentine's I said yes. They paid me but I would have done it for free just to be there again. Andy picked me up on the 14th and met my mom and then we went out to breakfast and talked a lot and then we drove the long way to their place. I got to talk to Lori and Debbie before they went out and when they got back I talked to Debbie for a few hours and didn't go to bed until 3am. I stayed the night with them I should say. The next day we had a nice time at breakfast and wen it was getting time for me to go home the three of them sat me down and invited me to come live with them. I cried and said yes.

As some of my friends point out to me I am really wanting something I don't have at home and maybe I'm rushing into this and making a really big mistake. Maybe I am.

Andy knows I'm not totally into him and has said the invitation to live there is no strings attached. I don't have to do anything I don't want to and I believe him on this. I told him I like him right now but am not in love with him and he said real love takes time and we have a lot of time for it to happen or not. It's funny that him not putting any pressure on me makes me like him and trust him. I can't explain that.

The Family (which is what I will call them now) is pretty normal except they have some rules which I can live with. Except when we ride the horses all the girls wear dresses. It's farm dresses in the winter and sundresses in the summer but no pants or shorts. I have to keep my hair at least to my shoulders. I can have wine but there won't be any getting drunk and there is no hard liquor or beer allowed in the house. I can be on the computer and write whatever I want on this blog but I can't be on any sites that might have porn of any kind because they don't want that around the kids. No work is done on Sundays. Sometimes we will go to church on Sundays but the day is reserved for being a family all day. I really like that rule.

So tonight I will be at my new home and sleeping in my new bed and tomorrow I will wake up and help make breakfast and then take care of the baby so Lori can do her work.

I'm also getting nervous wondering about the phone call I will get from my mom later tonight when she finds out I moved out early.

Okay so that's it for right now.

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