Heidi, Thanks for giving me something to write!
1. Describe a day in the life at your farm with your family.
I'm usually up around 5am to get breakfast going unless it was my night to sleep in with Steve or to sleep in by myself and then I will get up around 7 or so. If I'm doing breakfast I get it prepped and on the table for 6:30 and that's right about when everyone else is up. By 7:30 the kitchen is clean and I'm either with the babies or the chickens collecting eggs for the day. After that I usually bake bread or prep for lunch and somewhere in that I take about an hour to be with my girls. Noon time and it's lunch and that lasts about 30 minutes or so and then it is back to babies or out to feed the cattle. After those chores are done I take another hour with my babies and then it's time to start dinner. Dinner is usually on the table at 6pm and it's cleaned up by 7pm. Then it is time to sit with the family and we talk or sometimes watch movies or something family friendly on TV. Sometimes we are out to the hot tub at night and I'll soak my feet since I can't be in there for now. Then bed time is around 9 to 10 and I usually go for 10 and feed the girls a little before bed so they sleep all night.
2. Now that you've been married a while, describe how your marriage is different from what you thought it would be (before you moved into the family home), and/or how much it's like what you thought it would be.
I am not sure what I thought it would be like before. I really didn't think of the marriage part I mostly just thought of the babies and not living at home with my mom part. That sounds pretty bad and it is pretty bad. I think I was doing things just because they were things to do and I didn't think about them as much as I should have. My wedding night was the start of a very long reality check. In a lot of ways I think it is a lot better than I thought it would be because I have gotten to know and love everyone and this is the best and most loved I've ever been. It's hard to explain but there is this warm feeling in my heart now that was never there before and I hope it never changes.
3. Tell us a funny story about what it's like to live in such a big family (I bet all those kids do some romping together).
I don't really have any stories but maybe a lot of little 'pictures'. Like getting busy with Steve in the kitchen and getting caught. Skinny dipping in the pool for the first time. Sleeping with Macy or Christie and feeling really close to them. Having one of Steve's daughters slip into my bed at night to be close to me because they love me. Having four babies and two toddlers crying all at the same time and no one else is around to help. Finding my first chicken killed by a coyote. Laughing around the dinner table as a big family. Thanksgiving. Christmas Eve and everyone dressed for church. Birthdays and LOTS of them! Chatting in the kitchen with a teenager about things that I did a few years ago as a teenager. Feeling so much older than I did two years ago. Quilting and enjoying it and not missing the city. Church picnics with lots of happy families. Showering with someone else and realizing you didn't think about it. Trusting someone with everything.
Cryng right now because I am so happy!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
February 17, 2011
Just an update since I have some time right now:
Steve's daughter Stevie and her husband are going to be moving here to live with us in the guest house around the end of the month. Their home was being foreclosed on and the bank would not work with them so they negotiated to just leave at the end of the month instead of getting evicted. Stevie's husband lost his job and that messed things up for them and then we can't afford to do anything for them so the only thing left is to have them move here. It will be nice to have Stevie with us again but this was not the best way to do that.
It's been cloudy and will be cloudy with snow all week and I am starting to miss the better weather in California. But that's all I miss there!
My church has had two visitors lately. Lydia is visiting with a family and she decided to stay and so they're doing a wedding at church on Sunday for them and that will be nice. We also have a FLDS boy (he's 19 I think) who came in to the shelter in Denver and has moved in with a family up here. The family is going to help him get himself set up so he is not homeless anymore. He's really nice and I am hoping he stays on in town after he gets a job and all.
Steve sold his airplane because he says it was too expensive anymore to just sit in a hangar and then without a lot of work right now he doesn't need it. Macy, Christie, and me we don't miss the plane because we always worried about him flying around in it and now he's just going to use an airline when he needs to get somewhere.
My pregnancy is going so easy this time. I didn't realize how hard it was the first time until now.
Patty and Laura are doing really well. Christie has been home and she spends a lot of time with all of the babies teaching them and she's got Eric starting to read now and that is so cool! I don't think I did any reading until I was 6 or 7.
The chickens are doing good. We put in some lights in the barn for them and that got them laying more so we are leaving the lights on 16 hours a day for them.
I finished another quilt and it will be a wedding gift for Lydia. I did a quilt with chickens on it. (-:
Things are going on so I have to go but there is most of what is going on right now.
Steve's daughter Stevie and her husband are going to be moving here to live with us in the guest house around the end of the month. Their home was being foreclosed on and the bank would not work with them so they negotiated to just leave at the end of the month instead of getting evicted. Stevie's husband lost his job and that messed things up for them and then we can't afford to do anything for them so the only thing left is to have them move here. It will be nice to have Stevie with us again but this was not the best way to do that.
It's been cloudy and will be cloudy with snow all week and I am starting to miss the better weather in California. But that's all I miss there!
My church has had two visitors lately. Lydia is visiting with a family and she decided to stay and so they're doing a wedding at church on Sunday for them and that will be nice. We also have a FLDS boy (he's 19 I think) who came in to the shelter in Denver and has moved in with a family up here. The family is going to help him get himself set up so he is not homeless anymore. He's really nice and I am hoping he stays on in town after he gets a job and all.
Steve sold his airplane because he says it was too expensive anymore to just sit in a hangar and then without a lot of work right now he doesn't need it. Macy, Christie, and me we don't miss the plane because we always worried about him flying around in it and now he's just going to use an airline when he needs to get somewhere.
My pregnancy is going so easy this time. I didn't realize how hard it was the first time until now.
Patty and Laura are doing really well. Christie has been home and she spends a lot of time with all of the babies teaching them and she's got Eric starting to read now and that is so cool! I don't think I did any reading until I was 6 or 7.
The chickens are doing good. We put in some lights in the barn for them and that got them laying more so we are leaving the lights on 16 hours a day for them.
I finished another quilt and it will be a wedding gift for Lydia. I did a quilt with chickens on it. (-:
Things are going on so I have to go but there is most of what is going on right now.
Anonymous asks more questions
With all of the babies in your home, do they all live together in a nursery-type area of your house, are they split up and live with their mom, or is it some other arrangement?
The babies live with their moms but during the day they are with whoever is free to be with them.
Do the old kids have their own rooms, or do they share?
Lauren and Hannah are sharing again.
The babies live with their moms but during the day they are with whoever is free to be with them.
Do the old kids have their own rooms, or do they share?
Lauren and Hannah are sharing again.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Yahoo Groups post from Alan M. - VERY COOL!!!
Alan M. sent this to me from Yahoo Groups and I am just posting it here because it is pretty awesome!!
@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@##@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@
Polyamory advocates break new ground in one of Canada's highest courts, with media coverage to match. A happy poly household is featured on TV, with toddler. We read that "Three is the new two," "Poly is the new gay," and "Is polyamory the new black?" Deborah Anapol weighs upsides and downsides. And a study uncovers a pathetic truth: many young lovers recall the opposite of what their partner does about their agreement on whether to be monogamous.
If you haven't kept up with Polyamory in the News (http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com) in the last three months, here is some of what you missed:
** Canadian activists take the case for poly decriminalization to British Columbia's highest court. "Attorney John Ince, representing the Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association, delivered the most direct and specific defense of polyamory as a legitimate way of life ever presented before such a high court. By evening the news was all over Canada...."
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2010/11/radical-intrusion-into-private-sphere.html
** More on the Canadian case, including a poly family who came very out:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/search/label/Canada
** "Three is the new two, as couples explore the boundaries of non-monogamy". "The Hill-Thompsons are like any other young family expecting their first baby.... There is, however, one thing about the Hill-Thompsons that makes them a little unusual: there are three of them." Another mainstream newspaper shows that it can do a good job:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2010/11/three-is-new-two-as-couples-explore.html
** A happy poly household is featured on TV, in a place that has left a terrible past behind:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2011/01/poly-on-tv-where-world-was-reborn.html
** Thirty years later, poly movement co-founder Deborah Anapol offers thoughtful observations on the downsides and upsides of poly life:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2010/11/downsides-of-polyamory.html
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2010/12/upside-of-polyamory.html
** More college newspaper coverage, including more remarks on "poly as the new gay":
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2010/12/recent-poly-thoughts-in-student.html
** A women's magazine asks, "Is polyamory the new black?"
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2010/12/poly-explained-for-checkout-counter-set.html
** New culture? New advice columns needed. A roundup of both knowledgeable and clueless attempts to deal with the subject:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2010/12/new-culture-new-advice-columns-needed.html
** Kind hearts, cruel results? Although love should be the great clarifier of values, poly love is no better than the usual kind at guaranteeing that you won't mess someone up:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2011/01/kind-hearts-cruel-results.html
** "How to have an Open Relationship." A strong, healthy feminist voice in YES magazine sets an example:
http://www.yesmagazine.org/issues/what-happy-families-know/sex-without-jealousy-love-without-ownership
** Poly and jolly for the holidays. Okay, they're over, but go ahead and enjoy this collection anyway:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2010/12/poly-and-jolly-for-holidays.html
** History buffs: Although the word "polyamory" was coined for its current meaning in 1990 and 1992 (http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2007/01/polyamory-enters-oxford-english.html), a version of it first appeared as early as 1953 -- but not for someone we would apply it to:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2010/12/first-appearance-of-word-polyamorist.html
** And a large study reveals the sad truth: most young couples who *think* they have had a discussion about monogamy, and agreed with each other whether or not to be exclusive, might as well have been talking to the wind. A coinflip would do almost as well for telling whether the other partner heard what they said, or heard the opposite. Communication catastrophe in mainstream monogamy:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2011/01/communication-catastrophe-in-mainstream.html
------------------
Here's the site:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com
Subscribe:
http://feeds.feedburner.com/PolyamoryInTheNews
Twitter: @PolyintheNews
http://twitter.com/PolyintheNews
Facebook: Alan Polyinthemedia
http://www.facebook.com/people/Alan-Polyinthemedia/100000352531409
I've done 476 of these reports in the last six years, covering roughly 1,000 items in news media of all kinds. Archived entries are sorted by topic, date, and sometimes location and language. I hope you have as much fun browsing them as I do creating them!
Happy snow season,
Alan
P.S. Hope to see you at Loving More's Poly Living conference in Philadelphia next weekend, February 4-6:
http://www.lovemore.com/conferences/polyliving/pleindex.php
...and/or at Atlanta Poly Weekend March 25-27:
http://www.atlantapolyweekend.com/
(Crossposted)
@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@##@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@
Polyamory advocates break new ground in one of Canada's highest courts, with media coverage to match. A happy poly household is featured on TV, with toddler. We read that "Three is the new two," "Poly is the new gay," and "Is polyamory the new black?" Deborah Anapol weighs upsides and downsides. And a study uncovers a pathetic truth: many young lovers recall the opposite of what their partner does about their agreement on whether to be monogamous.
If you haven't kept up with Polyamory in the News (http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com) in the last three months, here is some of what you missed:
** Canadian activists take the case for poly decriminalization to British Columbia's highest court. "Attorney John Ince, representing the Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association, delivered the most direct and specific defense of polyamory as a legitimate way of life ever presented before such a high court. By evening the news was all over Canada...."
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2010/11/radical-intrusion-into-private-sphere.html
** More on the Canadian case, including a poly family who came very out:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/search/label/Canada
** "Three is the new two, as couples explore the boundaries of non-monogamy". "The Hill-Thompsons are like any other young family expecting their first baby.... There is, however, one thing about the Hill-Thompsons that makes them a little unusual: there are three of them." Another mainstream newspaper shows that it can do a good job:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2010/11/three-is-new-two-as-couples-explore.html
** A happy poly household is featured on TV, in a place that has left a terrible past behind:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2011/01/poly-on-tv-where-world-was-reborn.html
** Thirty years later, poly movement co-founder Deborah Anapol offers thoughtful observations on the downsides and upsides of poly life:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2010/11/downsides-of-polyamory.html
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2010/12/upside-of-polyamory.html
** More college newspaper coverage, including more remarks on "poly as the new gay":
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2010/12/recent-poly-thoughts-in-student.html
** A women's magazine asks, "Is polyamory the new black?"
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2010/12/poly-explained-for-checkout-counter-set.html
** New culture? New advice columns needed. A roundup of both knowledgeable and clueless attempts to deal with the subject:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2010/12/new-culture-new-advice-columns-needed.html
** Kind hearts, cruel results? Although love should be the great clarifier of values, poly love is no better than the usual kind at guaranteeing that you won't mess someone up:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2011/01/kind-hearts-cruel-results.html
** "How to have an Open Relationship." A strong, healthy feminist voice in YES magazine sets an example:
http://www.yesmagazine.org/issues/what-happy-families-know/sex-without-jealousy-love-without-ownership
** Poly and jolly for the holidays. Okay, they're over, but go ahead and enjoy this collection anyway:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2010/12/poly-and-jolly-for-holidays.html
** History buffs: Although the word "polyamory" was coined for its current meaning in 1990 and 1992 (http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2007/01/polyamory-enters-oxford-english.html), a version of it first appeared as early as 1953 -- but not for someone we would apply it to:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2010/12/first-appearance-of-word-polyamorist.html
** And a large study reveals the sad truth: most young couples who *think* they have had a discussion about monogamy, and agreed with each other whether or not to be exclusive, might as well have been talking to the wind. A coinflip would do almost as well for telling whether the other partner heard what they said, or heard the opposite. Communication catastrophe in mainstream monogamy:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2011/01/communication-catastrophe-in-mainstream.html
------------------
Here's the site:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com
Subscribe:
http://feeds.feedburner.com/PolyamoryInTheNews
Twitter: @PolyintheNews
http://twitter.com/PolyintheNews
Facebook: Alan Polyinthemedia
http://www.facebook.com/people/Alan-Polyinthemedia/100000352531409
I've done 476 of these reports in the last six years, covering roughly 1,000 items in news media of all kinds. Archived entries are sorted by topic, date, and sometimes location and language. I hope you have as much fun browsing them as I do creating them!
Happy snow season,
Alan
P.S. Hope to see you at Loving More's Poly Living conference in Philadelphia next weekend, February 4-6:
http://www.lovemore.com/conferences/polyliving/pleindex.php
...and/or at Atlanta Poly Weekend March 25-27:
http://www.atlantapolyweekend.com/
(Crossposted)
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Anonymous questions from blog and Brian
These are questions that were from an anonymous person on the blog and from Brian from Halifax.
Anonymous asked:
Now that you have been married a while and with baby #3 on the way, how has your love changed (if at all) towards Steve and your sister wives?
It is almost two years since I got married and things have changed a lot. The big thing is that I do love Steve and Christie and Macy. At first there was no way to say that because I didn't really know them and for a while I think I was even a little afraid of Steve. Once I was pregnant I really got to see how everyone could be and it was easy to start loving them.
Is this the life you imagined for yourself and how has it changed you being poly.
On the first part yes and no. I mean I came in to this with a fantasy and not thinking things all the way through and then I had to deal with reality like a husband is also a man, babies need a LOT of love and care, a home is a full time job, the world is not all about me, and the love you get is equal to the love you give. (My favorite line from a Beatles song!)
The second part is I think I was poly coming in to this and now I am just a part of a family. You don't really think of the poly thing a lot every day and the times when the poly thing is a big deal just don't happen that much. I mean most of the time being poly is just being in a big family and doing chores and cooking and talking to each other and stuff like that.
Brian from Halifax asked:
So how many kids do you want?
I want four or five but reality is I will probably have maybe six or seven. Who knows? Doing things one day at a time is the best way to do anything and that is what I am doing.
Anonymous asked:
Now that you have been married a while and with baby #3 on the way, how has your love changed (if at all) towards Steve and your sister wives?
It is almost two years since I got married and things have changed a lot. The big thing is that I do love Steve and Christie and Macy. At first there was no way to say that because I didn't really know them and for a while I think I was even a little afraid of Steve. Once I was pregnant I really got to see how everyone could be and it was easy to start loving them.
Is this the life you imagined for yourself and how has it changed you being poly.
On the first part yes and no. I mean I came in to this with a fantasy and not thinking things all the way through and then I had to deal with reality like a husband is also a man, babies need a LOT of love and care, a home is a full time job, the world is not all about me, and the love you get is equal to the love you give. (My favorite line from a Beatles song!)
The second part is I think I was poly coming in to this and now I am just a part of a family. You don't really think of the poly thing a lot every day and the times when the poly thing is a big deal just don't happen that much. I mean most of the time being poly is just being in a big family and doing chores and cooking and talking to each other and stuff like that.
Brian from Halifax asked:
So how many kids do you want?
I want four or five but reality is I will probably have maybe six or seven. Who knows? Doing things one day at a time is the best way to do anything and that is what I am doing.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Alice's Questions
How is the quilting coming along?
Pretty good. I finished a quilt with chickens for my bed and then did another with US flags on it for Steve's Christmas present and it was fun! I do it when I am watching TV or just sitting and talking and it keeps my hands busy. I never got why some people do it but it is relaxing and sort of addictive so I get it now.
How are you feeling with this pregnancy? Are you extra tired?
I'm doing better than with the first one. This is soooooo much easier just having one baby! I get tired but not too bad.
You haven't shared recently on the blog about what your little ones are doing now. Are they getting around well on their own? Do they have any words or specially little cute actions that make you smile? You had said that you were going to have to start out sleeping together. Are they still sleeping together.
I got turned off talking about them because of some of the hate mail I get. Just figured why share something nice when some assmonkey will try to make something bad out of it? The girls are doing fine and Patty is still ahead of Laura. Laura is still the quiet one and she's a mommy's girl and Patty just loves everyone. It's pretty cool to see them so different already. They sleep together and it's funny that Patty fusses if she isn't put down with Laura so we keep them together.
Oh...how are the chickens doing? I'm curious, about how many eggs are you getting each day right now? How does that number compare to what you got during the Summer?
The chickens are doing really good. My big surprise was finding a hen with eight chicks in the wood pile outside the barn. It is freaking COLD out so it was a miracle she kept them all going. They're all inside now with the other birds. I get about five dozen eggs a day now and I sell them to one restaurant now in town for $5 a dozen. That sounds like a lot until you figure gas and all and the restaurant likes the eggs because around here most eggs come from like Kansas and you just get the white ones.
Pretty good. I finished a quilt with chickens for my bed and then did another with US flags on it for Steve's Christmas present and it was fun! I do it when I am watching TV or just sitting and talking and it keeps my hands busy. I never got why some people do it but it is relaxing and sort of addictive so I get it now.
How are you feeling with this pregnancy? Are you extra tired?
I'm doing better than with the first one. This is soooooo much easier just having one baby! I get tired but not too bad.
You haven't shared recently on the blog about what your little ones are doing now. Are they getting around well on their own? Do they have any words or specially little cute actions that make you smile? You had said that you were going to have to start out sleeping together. Are they still sleeping together.
I got turned off talking about them because of some of the hate mail I get. Just figured why share something nice when some assmonkey will try to make something bad out of it? The girls are doing fine and Patty is still ahead of Laura. Laura is still the quiet one and she's a mommy's girl and Patty just loves everyone. It's pretty cool to see them so different already. They sleep together and it's funny that Patty fusses if she isn't put down with Laura so we keep them together.
Oh...how are the chickens doing? I'm curious, about how many eggs are you getting each day right now? How does that number compare to what you got during the Summer?
The chickens are doing really good. My big surprise was finding a hen with eight chicks in the wood pile outside the barn. It is freaking COLD out so it was a miracle she kept them all going. They're all inside now with the other birds. I get about five dozen eggs a day now and I sell them to one restaurant now in town for $5 a dozen. That sounds like a lot until you figure gas and all and the restaurant likes the eggs because around here most eggs come from like Kansas and you just get the white ones.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Lydia's Questions
Lydia (who says she is 18 and poly-curious) emailed me some personal questions and I decided to put the answers here after I emailed back to her.
How do you feel after almost two years of marriage? Do you think this is permanant for you?
I feel happier than I did before, that is for sure! At first it was not easy but some of that was me adjusting to not having all the drama going on. When you're used to fighting all the time and then it stops it takes a while before you're not ready for a fight all the time. Yes, it is permanent. There's no going back on motherhood and I love Steve and Christie and Macy and would never want to be away from them.
How do you feel about sex now? Are you still scared?
I am much more comfortable with sex now and most of that is because I know Steve and I love him now. I love being with him and thinking about having babies for him is beyond words for me! Every time he is with me he is telling me he wants to have children with me and it makes me feel so loved and so important. It is also easy to forget being scared when the sex is really good!
...do you think you will have a fourth wife in the house?
Not that I can imagine. Money is really tight and being away from California has cost us more money in some ways so I don't see that happening. I won't say 'never' because I know better but I will say not now and not any time soon.
Do you want your girls to be poly?
I want my girls to be happy. Whatever that means for them is fine with me.
What do you do for hobbies and for yourself?
I cook a lot and I am quilting too and that is fun. And taking care of the family is also something I love to do and I enjoy it so it is kind of a hobby. It is a lot of hard work around here but it is not like it is a job with a boss telling you what to do. You just see things that need doing and you do them.
still getting hate mail and perverted mail?
Not so much. I had one last month and it was not so bad. Marcus and a few other people chat with me on IM when I have the time and we do chat about personal things and I don't mind because it is sometimes nice to have someone to chat with about that kind of stuff. I wish I had more time for the computer because I miss friends like Fay, Thia, Carlton, and especially Erica.
How do you feel after almost two years of marriage? Do you think this is permanant for you?
I feel happier than I did before, that is for sure! At first it was not easy but some of that was me adjusting to not having all the drama going on. When you're used to fighting all the time and then it stops it takes a while before you're not ready for a fight all the time. Yes, it is permanent. There's no going back on motherhood and I love Steve and Christie and Macy and would never want to be away from them.
How do you feel about sex now? Are you still scared?
I am much more comfortable with sex now and most of that is because I know Steve and I love him now. I love being with him and thinking about having babies for him is beyond words for me! Every time he is with me he is telling me he wants to have children with me and it makes me feel so loved and so important. It is also easy to forget being scared when the sex is really good!
...do you think you will have a fourth wife in the house?
Not that I can imagine. Money is really tight and being away from California has cost us more money in some ways so I don't see that happening. I won't say 'never' because I know better but I will say not now and not any time soon.
Do you want your girls to be poly?
I want my girls to be happy. Whatever that means for them is fine with me.
What do you do for hobbies and for yourself?
I cook a lot and I am quilting too and that is fun. And taking care of the family is also something I love to do and I enjoy it so it is kind of a hobby. It is a lot of hard work around here but it is not like it is a job with a boss telling you what to do. You just see things that need doing and you do them.
still getting hate mail and perverted mail?
Not so much. I had one last month and it was not so bad. Marcus and a few other people chat with me on IM when I have the time and we do chat about personal things and I don't mind because it is sometimes nice to have someone to chat with about that kind of stuff. I wish I had more time for the computer because I miss friends like Fay, Thia, Carlton, and especially Erica.
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