Edward's question

Suppose I (and my wife) decided after much prayer and discussion that our family would be better with another wife in the picture. We don't live in a state with any noticeable population of polygamous households. How or where do we find like-minded people to even discuss courtships or that sort of thing?

Hi, Edward

I found my family on the Sac-Poly Yahoo group and there are a lot of other sites where you can meet poly-minded people or just chat with them. I am not an expert on poly so I don't want to really say what sites to go to but maybe the people who read my blog have some sites they like and will share?

I liked what you said with: We don't live in a state with any noticeable population of polygamous households.

That because it is probably not true! I had no idea that California had a LOT of poly people until I started looking. Most of the poly people I ran into were not religious or are pagan (their words, not mine) but then some are religious and they really keep it all on the downlow so you don't know they are there. We used to live near Roseville, California and almost none of our neighbors knew we were a poly family.

The Fundamentalist LDS people are in a few states but then I get email from some of them who live in states I don't think most people know about. I won't say where to protect their privacy.

One bit of advice if you want to be left alone is don't call your 2nd wife your wife anywhere in public. She can be a friend who lives with you, your mistress, you can even say she is an ex-wife and no one will ever care. In my house I just say I live here is all and that's all people ask.

Poly is not easy for some people but if your wife is 100% in favor of it I think it is beautiful. You get to have a best friend in the house who knows everything. That is the other thing, if you have any secrets and want to keep them then poly is not for you. Like with us there are three women who really know Steve and we talk and when something is up one of us notices something, another noticed something else, the third noticed something more, and then we talk and put it all together.

I will keep you in my prayers that no matter what you decide to do it is the right thing for you both!

Megan

Okay, it is freaking cold!

The snow is mostly six feet deep around here and it's in drifts that are like sand dunes in a way. It's beautiful but not when you have things to do.

I don't know why, but I am just not thinking about a lot to write lately. Maybe it is motivation? Maybe I'm a little bored. Every day is more or less the same since Christmas so it is not like it is all that exciting.

I am always good with questions and I don't mind if anyone wants to post just random thoughts about stuff like global warming...HAH!!!!

Here's a prayer that you all have a wonderful 2011!

TTYL

Questions & Answers

charmed said...
yay! *does the happy question dance*

how many kids does Steve have now?
how many kids do you think you will have?
has your family's money situation gotten any better?
How is Sheri doing?
how is the show sisterwives? I don't have cable
how are your girls doing?

Steve has nine kids now with eight of them living at home.

I'm thinking I'll have four to maybe seven kids? I'm not sure and I'm just going to do one at a time I hope!

Sort of.

She's settled down in her new place and Lauren and Hannah are going to see her sometime after the New Year.

I'm not watching 'Sisterwives'. I don't think Macy is either.

Patty and Laura are doing really well. Patty is really strong and is doing things ahead of a lot of schedules for infants and Laura is just being my angel.

Helene said...
Megan,
How about sending us an update on Renee Rachel? We've hardly heard anything about her!

She is doing fine but is missing her mom. Macy does most of the care for Rachel and her little boy Jacob just because it makes sense for some practical reasons. Rachel has a lazy eye and the doctor says it will be something to look at when she gets a little older. Other than that she seems just great!

Abby Waccon said...
Would you ever consider adding another wife or do you have a friend that you want as another wife?

I won't say never but I will say not now. I hate to say too but I really don't have any of my old friends anymore.

Alice said...
Pass on my best wishes to Macy and give Jacob an extra smile too. Boys often are VERY different from girls. Wait until he starts moving around! Now that will be fun!

Do you plan to get more livestock in the Spring, such as dairy cattle? What livestock do you currently have? Goats, horses, pigs... that sort of things?

Shari had been in the house in back. Is the house being used for something else now?

How does everyone feel about the more casual attitude towards wearing dresses? Have the older girls changed what they wear too?

As you can tell, I'm curious as to how well all of you have settled into the new place now that you've been there for a while.

We won't be running dairy cattle here because it is too cold. We have our horses and they don't mind the snow too much and then the cattle we have are doing fine so far. The guest house is closed for the winter to save money on heat and all and we will probably open it up in the spring and use it then. Being more casual has been nice but we still dress up for church. Lauren and Hannah are liking it but for them it means they get to wear shirts and jeans. We're settled in and it seems like home now. None of us really miss California all that much because there is so much freedom here. Like if Lauren goes riding she can wear a gun and no one around here will care. I like it because it is so quiet and you don't hear a freeway or anything except the birds and all.

Robyn said...
There have been alot of changes. e.g. moving house, Shari leaving. How does Steve share his time between his 3 wives. Has this changed since you first joined the family? Are you happy with how it is now? Does everyone have enough time?

Yeah, we are all pretty happy with how things are. Not a lot to talk about that way we just seem to all know what is right for everyone and we go with it that way.

~Heidi~ said...
Megan, now that you are truly settled in this lifestyle:
1. What is your support system outside of your family?
2. Do you ever wish you were an only wife?
3. How have you adjusted to having Macy added to the family?
4. Has there been any change in hierarchy since you went from being the third wife to the second? Is there that kind of hierarchy in your home?
5. How are you liking the new home? Do you miss NorCal?

1. Not much. My old friends don't have much to do with me anymore and makes me wonder if they think you can 'catch' being poly or something. My mom has a boyfriend now so we don't talk much. My other support system are my online friends. I chat with some people on Yahoo when I can and there are some sites I go to and chat with friends sometimes and then there is this. I used to get a lot from the blog but it got kind of nasty and that made me back off a bit, I guess. But I do have some good friends from here I email with when I can.

2. Not any more. I would not want this any other way anymore.

3. Just fine. She's really easy to get along with. She's mostly quiet but she has this really sweet loving side to her that just makes you feel special when she turns it on. She is a really special friend to me and always will be.

4. No, we just all have our own thing. No one lords it over anyone else in things.

5. I don't miss California at all. We don't worry about nosy people here and that is the very best thing. California people are hypocrites because they are all into the gay rights and all but then they are hard core about poly. Here no one cares just that they want you to be a good neighbor is all. I think most of our neighbors know who we are but they see the kids are nice, we keep things really clean, we're not trailer trash, and we don't want to turn the place into another California so they like us and we get left alone.

(-:

It's time for questions!

I'm just not thinking of stuff to write so I figure it is time to let you all ask questions.

You can ask anything you want. I may not answer it if it's too gross or whatever but feel free to leave that up to me. If you want to ask anonymously I'm okay with that.

Jacob is doing good and so is Macy. He's not very quiet and I guess that just means he's a boy! (-:

Welcome Jacob!

Macy had her little boy on Thursday night and his name is Jacob. He's got the blackest hair I have ever seen on a little baby and his eyes are baby blue but that might change. Macy did really well with the labor and started late on Tuesday. We got her into the hospital for the birth and it went fine really. Both of them are home now and doing great.

I'd write more but my heart just isn't in writing right now. I don't know why.

Thursday December 2, 2010

Thanksgiving was a really great time and I hope it was good for all of you, too!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

Things have been VERY busy here and I have much less time to be on the blog or on Yahoo anymore so sorry for all the IM messages I have not returned.

Before I get into anything else...I'm pregnant! I thought I was pregnant a couple weeks ago and took two tests and they said I wasn't pregnant but then it just felt familiar and I KNEW it so I took one again yesterday and it came up with a = and then I did it again and it came up the same! Wow.

I'm expecting it is just one this time and got to say that twins is something I only ever want to do once. I looooove my girls but it was not an easy thing to do with twins in so many ways. Ooooh, enough about me.

Macy is getting ready for her baby. The doctor says anytime now and that is about right. We've got baby stuff ready for her and she is doing really, really well. Macy totally NEVER complains and I wish I could learn how to be more like her that way.

My resolution for 2011 is to shut up. I really talk too much and then what I do is talk about me. 2011 will be more about other people and less about me.

We've got snow on the ground now and things are pretty. It is not a lot of snow yet but that is coming because it is not supposed to stop snowing until maybe Wednesday. The chickens are in the barn and doing good and some of them are pretty silly when they get in the snow.

We're doing better with money and that's mostly because Christie is working again. She is due home on Tuesday and then next Monday she has to go back to work out of town. We all really miss her. Eric and Emmy are doing great and part of the big family thing that is nice is they have lots of love and attention and Steve is home all the time right now so he is spending a lot of time with Eric who is almost 3.

I am working at a restaurant on Friday and Saturday nights now as a cook and doing good at it. The pay is amazing to me and then there are tips at the end of the night and I am stopping my allowance from the family for now and planning on paying some back in after Christmas. It's nice to have money of my own for that.

We heard from Shari. She called on Friday night and talked to Lauren and then Steve and says she is doing well. She is in Seattle now and has a place and lives in a place called Capitol Hill and says it is nice and close to where she works. She is wanting Lauren and Hannah to come visit her after New Year's and Steve says it's fine with him. Lauren and Hannah seem a little happier after talking to Shari and maybe they will be happier after they see her.

Steve had our cattle checked for brucellosis because there is some worry about it around here and they all came up fine. He pulled them in to a smaller part of the ranch so they are not on the fence line and near other cattle or the buffalo for now.

Macy shot her first coyote last week. She was home with the babies and saw the coyote around the barn and went out from upstairs and shot it. Steve and I found it when we got home and it was a pretty awesome shot because coyotes don't let you get a second shot at them. It's scary to see them that close to the house but everyone around here says it is normal after the rodents go into hibernation for the coyotes to come around homes looking for cats and dogs.

I really wish I had more time to write but I don't. It's just me doing most stuff these days so I need to go.

I really hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Megan