Sunday, May 27, 2012

Marcus' questions

I have a little time so here are some answers to Marcus' questions:

1. You don't talk much about your past. You have told us all a few things but what about high school? Anything to say about that?

High school was not so much fun. My parents moved around a lot and I went to a lot of schools and didn't really make a lot of friends. My last two years in high school I independent study out of a continuation school and there just is not a lot to say about that.

2. How do you feel about Cydne maybe joining your family and sharing your husband? Do you know her well?

I know Cydne from church and she is really nice.  If she decides to stay with us I would be happy to have her in the family because compare to the rest of us she doesn't have a lot of problems to deal with. Sharing Steve with her doesn't bother me too much because it still means she is committed to the family and that says a lot.

3. What do Christie and Macy think about Cydne as a potential?

About the same as I do.

4. You mentioned a soap opera with Lauren, care to say any more on that?


5. Are you still getting hate email or other odd email?

Yes. I still get emails that ask me if I would like to leave and they are from guys who can be a little creepy. Since I stopped the anonymous comments on the blog I am not getting the hateful comments I used to get and none of those people ever send me email. 

6. If your daughters wanted to get married at sixteen (legally, of course) how would you feel about that? Especially since it is possible that you could be a grandmother before you turn forty?

I have thought about that and I am sort of mixed on it. I think I would want them to wait until they were 18 but if they were dead serious about getting married to a guy they really loved at 16 then I would rather them get married instead of sneaking around maybe. It would also be nice to be a grandmother young enough to see my grandkids get married and grow up.

7. If you were not married with the kids what was your fantasy for what you wanted to do with your life? 

This was my fantasy!  But the reality is not the same as the fantasy and it is a lot of work but it is also a lot more loving than I ever expected. I think it turned out better than the fantasy I was having about having a baby and all from four years ago. Being 17 seems so long ago now and that person then is not who I am anymore.

I hope everyone has a safe Memorial Day and I hope you all have a chance to stop and remember all the people who gave up their lives for our freedom.



  1. I don't comment very often on your blog but I know from having my own blog that it's nice to have the lurkers come out once in a while. Just wanted to say that I find your blog very interesting and how much I appreciate how honest and candid you are about your experience. I also really respect that you keep certain things private. :)

  2. Dale, though I can't seem to identify myself the usual way for some reason.

    You mention that you aren't the same person at 21 that you were when 17. Nearly everyone experiences that. We like to feel we are "grown up" at 17, but we aren't. The frontal lobes of our brains don't finish growing until around age 25. Our frontal lobes process long term thoughts. So at 17, our brains cannot comprehend what a lifetime commitment to marriage means. That is one main reason why we encourage our youth to wait until your early twenties before jumping into a marriage relationship, or having babies. By around age 22 your brain is mature enough to understand what a commitment having a baby is, and you have matured into the person and personality you will be in adulthood.

    Many teens marry only to find four or five years later that they aren't suitable for one another.

    On the other hand, a girl of 16 is sexually mature and would like to marry and have a baby. If she feels she has found a good partner to love, it is better that she marry than to fool around and become an unwed mother. It is really hard to thwart our hormones/desires/biology.

    Another issue is that a boy of 16 is not mature enough to marry and support a family. He really should graduate from high school (and college or a trade school, if he's going) and hold down a job for a couple years before getting engaged. Girls should exersize the self control to not consider a marriage to any man who hasn't established himself enought to support them.

    So I agree with your answer, but also think you acted very wisely when you escaped your birth family situation by investigating this poly family, and then, sensing the level of love there, joined it. Your girls will not have a dangerous father or drug abusing mother they need to escape from. They will have a much better idea what a loving home feels like.

    As I said to you before, you've done well!