Saturday, May 19, 2012

Didi's questions and etc.

Didi posted a nice letter and I thought I would respond and then post some updates after that. 

Hi Megan,

so I just read your blog from day 1 until this most recent entry - it only took me about 2 days ;-)

There are a couple of questions I have - probably because I read it all in one lump sum and I think there may have been some entries that were removed that I never saw.

How are things with Lauren?? You had said there were problems - then nothing else was said and then recently you said Hannah is still there, does that mean Lauren moved out?

Also, I want to ask this, but I REALLY don't want to be "pervy" and I don't mean it in a perv way - it's just something I often wonder about poly families and sister wives and big love didn't even touch on it. :) A: do y'all spank your children and B: do you spank each others kids or just the ones you gave birth to? :) If you don't spank then other forms of discipline - do you discipline your sister wives children or just your own I guess??

Why can't you post any pics? I understand wanting to protect identities, but like back when you were wearing dresses all of the time you could have posted "headless" pics or something? It's so hard to really know someone without pictures. :)

God bless!

Hi, Didi!

So yeah we had a soap opera thing go on with Lauren and it got resolved last fall when she got married to a guy from the church. She is over sixteen and the marriage was legal. She's currently expecting her first baby and I am hoping that everything goes good for her.

Spanking happens around here but it's really very rare. Most of the time the kids are just great and it is not a problem but if they do act out we usually just put them in a room by themselves for a time out and that takes care of it. A spanking around here means a swat on the rear and NOT a beating.

I don't post pictures anymore. I used to and it just didn't work out. I do share pictures with my friends online and sometimes that includes people from the blog. If I get to know someone that is one thing but I really don't want to run into someone in public who knows me and I don't know them.

The picture of me on the blog is me and it gives everyone enough to know about what I look like but I will be honest and say that it is a little old and I have gained some weight since then and my hair is not as perfect as I used to keep it.

Hope that answers your questions. You probably know I don't mind questions so you can ask more if you want.

Update for around here

Our big news is that we hired a helper for around the house and she moved in two weeks ago. Her name is Cydne  and you say it the same like you would "Sidney" and she is going to work here at least until November. After that she might choose to stay on if she wants and be our fourth wife. She is raised in the church and graduated high school two weeks back and needed a job and was also wanting to get married. One of the big problems around here right now is too many boys have gone to college or the military or they left to find work and they don't want to come back. Cydne is doing this job with us to save money and she is thinking about leaving for college in Denver maybe or staying on and starting a family. Whatever she does is in the Lord's hands and we're just thankful to have her help around the house for now.

Hannah is doing better with some help and is still serious about college especially because she gets to use all of the college fund money. She and Christie are going to go to Michigan in the fall to check out Hillsdale College which is a college that takes in a lot of homeschooled kids. I am thinking she will do this and that is nice to see. Not like this is all that bad but it is nice to see that this isn't the only choice for anyone.

I am getting $5 a dozen with my eggs still and the chickens are doing great. We expanded their run and Steve let me add another old construction trailer for a second coop. We got 300 more chicks from a hatchery and they showed up in the mail and they were sooooooooo cute! They are all Rhode Island Reds and they are supposed to do pretty good in cold weather. My barred hens are doing good and are good layers. We tried a few meat chickens and I don't think I will do that again. They grow too fast and you end up having to eat them just because they don't seem so happy. The barred chickens are pretty friendly and they get up to six or seven pounds on scratch and lay crumble and they also eat a lot of bugs especially in the summer. We have let them loose in our vegetable garden this spring to eat the bugs and they have been pretty good. We don't let them near the potatoes because those are poisonous to the chickens but they are pretty safe with everything else.

I finished my 20th quilt for the shelter in Denver and I am starting a red, white, and blue one I hope to finish for 4th of July to auction off at church.

Steve and Tab are working hard in North Dakota and they are home usually every two weeks. Tab is talking about going up to Canada to work in the oil sands driving trucks. There is a lot of money to make doing that right now and they need like 100,000 people to do all the work that needs to get done. They have more jobs than North Dakota and some of them pay a lot more too.

Hate to say but we are doing a late lunch and it is time for me to go.

Have a Happy Saturday!


  1. Thanks for the reply and the updates!! :-)

    Ok, you said more questions, so here I go :-)

    1. Is it pretty normal in the poly families in your church for the dads/husbands to work away from home so much? (like travelling) It seems like that would make it even harder to have relationship and feel even more like "brood mares" :-( I am in a one man/one woman marriage and when hubby is gone more than 12 hours I cry.

    2. You said a looong time ago that your dad had stolen your innocence from you when he was in a drug high, but you had said in the first few entries that you lost your virginity right before becoming part of the poly community. I am so sorry about all of it - the dad stuff and the losing your virginity to a guy who didn't matter - I just wondered if you could clarify for me was it that your dad raped you or "just" hurt you/molested you? Either way is utterly heinous I am just trying to tie it all together.

    3. Do you guys believe like the FLDS that there is marriage in heaven and that there are greater rewards for poly families? Do you believe that salvation is found through earthly work? Like a reward?

    4. How can I be praying for you? I can have a glamorous view of "sister wives" at times (hey it would be nice to have someone to talk to when hubby is gone, to have someone to have sex with him when I am tired or grouchy, to have someone who is not infertile to bring children into our marriage...), but I know that you are a human being just like everyone else and that having sister wives has blessings and trials - so how can I pray for you? :)

    5. What is your favorite bible verse? what version of the Bible do you use? Do you have a favorite pastor other than your own? Like, do you listen to sermons outside of your church?


  2. oh and any form of discipline for the kiddos - do you get "their mom" or do you handle it yourself? If you do handle it and they disagree do they undermine you?

  3. Hi Megan,

    Longtime lurker here.

    I'm curious about how things are supposed to unfold between Cydne and your husband. I know you said she's staying to earn money and help out for a few months but I'm wondering if they're "dating"* as well in the meantime?

    Or will things between them be completely platonic until or unless Cydne decides to join the family permanently?

    *for lack of a better term -it sounds like your family doesn't exactly believe in the mainstream version of dating.

  4. This is the first time that I've ever posted a comment here. I wanted to let you know that I work for a company that has close connections with the oil and sand industry. There is definitely work and money to be had. Everything in Canada is Unionized, so everyone makes the same pay for the same job (which can be a good or bad thing, I suppose). On some of the sites, the guys don't come home for 4-6 weeks at a time and some of the companies will do mass layoffs without warning. This may all be information that you already know, but if not, I thought it might be good information to have.