Thursday, March 3, 2011

A really good question

This was from Anonymous:

Hi Megan, I enjoy reading your posts and I'm glad you've found the love / family situation that works for you! I have a question that I've kind of always wondered about poly families and I thought you might be able to answer it or give an educated guess because you know a lot more families than I do. How many of the families that you know are truly making it on their own (by that I mean the husband is supporting everyone) as compared to how many have all the unmarried (in the legal sense) wives receiving welfare benefits? I know that's a typical criticism of poly families, that most of the family is just receiving welfare and I'm curious if you think it's true or if most of the families you know are truly supporting themselves. (no judgment intended, just genuinely curious) Best wishes to your family, hope spring is right around the corner!

I am sure I wrote about this before but I don't mind answering this again.

In our church couples don't take another person into their family unless they are 100% debt free and have some money put away. There are no set rules about that because things happen and the rules are not going to get in the way of doing the right thing, meaning the right thing to do is always the right thing to do regardless of the rules. Like how Jesus and the Apostles healed people on the Sabbath. The rules said you're not supposed to do that but it was the right thing to do.

But mostly the rule is obeyed and only a family that can provide for a new person is accepted in doing that. Like some people ask if my family will ever add a fourth wife and that is not going to happen that I can imagine even if we wanted to. We're pretty tight on money and that will not change that I can see so it's not something to worry about.

Families that have problems get help from the church and the church has a reserve fund for that kind of thing. Our old congregation had the goal of being able to support all of our families for a year and they met that goal. Our new congregation is not doing as well and it will be a while before we get to being able to support everyone for a year. But if a family has a hard time the church does the support first because we do not want attention from anyone.

I do know some poly people are anti-American and they take welfare and call it 'bleeding the beast' and we absolutely would NEVER do that! I also have some friends online who are FLDS and they tell me they don't do that either.

I also know I never would have done this if it meant going on welfare to make things happen. Not like I am down on people who get welfare, it's just if I have a choice I don't want to be one of them.


  1. I think that is very important to clear up. I know you've written about it before, but so many people don't understand. They don't understand self-reliance in today's world.

  2. Megan do you know what you are having and when are you do? IS Chrsti and Macy talking about having more children?

  3. Very interesting life you lead!

    I had a bit of a question: I follow a lot of Muslim blogs and polygamy is coming up SO MUCH lately. I really see the contrast between the life they lead and your's. As you might know, polygamy in Islam is a bit different. It's normally not a big family like your's, but more about a husband going from one home to the other, both wives and her children living separately from each other. What do you feel are the advantages and disadvantages of both situations? Would you give up the sisterhood you have with your wives and the "big family" feel to have more of a one-on-one relationship with husband and only only you, him and your children to take care of?

  4. Hey Megan,
    I sent you a message on Yahoo because I had something I needed to ask. I'm in a state of shock right now. Hopefully you read the message. It's about something you told me one time. Anyway. Hopefully it's a good thing. :) Hope you and your family are doing well. Is it getting any warmer yet? In my area today was a really nice day.