Suppose I (and my wife) decided after much prayer and discussion that our family would be better with another wife in the picture. We don't live in a state with any noticeable population of polygamous households. How or where do we find like-minded people to even discuss courtships or that sort of thing?
I found my family on the Sac-Poly Yahoo group and there are a lot of other sites where you can meet poly-minded people or just chat with them. I am not an expert on poly so I don't want to really say what sites to go to but maybe the people who read my blog have some sites they like and will share?
I liked what you said with: We don't live in a state with any noticeable population of polygamous households.
That because it is probably not true! I had no idea that California had a LOT of poly people until I started looking. Most of the poly people I ran into were not religious or are pagan (their words, not mine) but then some are religious and they really keep it all on the downlow so you don't know they are there. We used to live near Roseville, California and almost none of our neighbors knew we were a poly family.
The Fundamentalist LDS people are in a few states but then I get email from some of them who live in states I don't think most people know about. I won't say where to protect their privacy.
One bit of advice if you want to be left alone is don't call your 2nd wife your wife anywhere in public. She can be a friend who lives with you, your mistress, you can even say she is an ex-wife and no one will ever care. In my house I just say I live here is all and that's all people ask.
Poly is not easy for some people but if your wife is 100% in favor of it I think it is beautiful. You get to have a best friend in the house who knows everything. That is the other thing, if you have any secrets and want to keep them then poly is not for you. Like with us there are three women who really know Steve and we talk and when something is up one of us notices something, another noticed something else, the third noticed something more, and then we talk and put it all together.
I will keep you in my prayers that no matter what you decide to do it is the right thing for you both!