Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Where have I been?



I haven't been on here in a while because I have had some serious studying to do and I also have been spending more time with my family than on the computer.

The best thing that happened was I got to go with Steve to do a bid in Monterey on the 16th and we stayed the weekend. It was the first time we got to go do a trip together and we had a wonderful time! We drove through San Francisco because Steve had to pick up some plans and then we stopped in Moss Landing and had lunch. The food was really good but the fried stuff made me kind of sick and I don't think I will eat so much fried stuff anymore.
We stayed in Pacific Grove at a really romantic B&B and it was just great. Steve did his business stuff on the 16th so we had the weekend to ourselves and on Saturday I saw the Monterey Bay Aquarium with him and that was pretty cool. I had never seen a white shark before and the otters were really cute! On Sunday Steve played golf and I walked around Carmel for a while. It is a cute town but everything is soooooo expensive! This one place had a sweater that cost $650!!! The picture up on the top of this page is from Pacific Grove and I took it with Steve's nice work camera. I think that was on the Saturday. It was a little hard to come home after being just me and him for the weekend but it was nice to get back to everyone too but it was even nicer to have a romantic time with Steve.

Stevie (Stephanie) is doing good and this last Saturday we were over to help paint and to hang curtains. We had a nice time and Stevie made lunch for everyone. She is seriously enjoying being married and she really loves her husband. It is kind of cute to see her get all mushy with him. (-:

Macy is really doing well and is just being a part of the family. Lauren is teaching Macy to ride the horses and Macy is liking it a lot. Shari is teaching Macy how to quilt and the two of them are becoming really good friends.

School is going good for me but we are doing chemistry right now and that has made me not be on here because I just don't have the time. I didn't think cooking school would be so hard but it is.

The baby is doing pretty good but I am starting to feel a little icky every now and then. Like in Moss Landing with the fried food. It tasted really good but after an hour I was feeling not so good. Some mornings are worse than others but it is still not as bad as what some people tell me about. The worst thing right now is my boobs are sore about all the time and Christie says she had the same thing so it is just normal I guess.

The best news is we have not had any drama lately so it has been just really peaceful.

Before I forget, a local newspaper had a story about some people not far from here who are in a 'Quiver full' church and they have babies all the time because of a verse in the Bible that talks about men having sons. Steve says we are not like that because that church is 100% patriarchal and he says we are a lot more about men having responsibilities and obligations than about men being the king of their house. Basically we do a lot of the same things those people do but not for the same reasons.

It is time for me to get going to school and I really wish I could just stay home and be on chat with a lot of you! I really miss all of you! )-:

Have a great day and everyone smile at someone today! (-:

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Comments and stuff

Because of the bad weather yesterday my morning class got cancelled so here I am.

That was a lot of comments yesterday and I will try to get to them all and I am sorry if I miss any, okay?

Donald asked who was the head of our church and I did laugh! Pastor Jeff does a lot to make sure that no one thinks he is in charge or anything. He says his job is mostly helping people who need and ask for help and the rest of the time he tries to mind his own business. Being a pastor is a part time job for him and he has another job to do which is nothing to do with church. I asked Steve about all this once and he said not a lot changes in the church so it doesn't need a bunch of committees and all and then each of the three big congregations make up their own ideas on finances for the church funds. Our congregation has enough money put aside to take care of everyone in the church for about a year and Christie told me once that the goal is to have enough money to buy everyone a new home if they need it. Eventually they want the fund to be able to pay everyone some money every month to help them out.

Steady mentioned that the church controls the lives of the members and that is true that it does. But I don't think that is a bad thing and I don't think the kind of things the church controls makes it a cult because the church wants you to do things to make your life better and not to do things to do anything for the church. Like when a couple gets married the church wants them to be free of debt except for a mortgage on a house and then you have to have a house to get married. They don't want you having kids in an apartment and then taking more time to get a house. Then when a couple wants a second wife they have to be totally debt free and most of the families in our church are couples only because of this. Steve, Shari, and Christie were able to do this because when they sold their homes they had enough to put it together to buy this place and make it debt free. I asked Pastor Jeff about this once and he said they do this to make sure that money is not a reason for any family problems.
The marrying fast thing is done with second wives and third wives. They mostly do this to sort out the serious people from the people who are not serious. Like when I came here it was pretty clear that if I stayed I was expected to be married to Steve or go home in a month so I didn't cause any trouble in the house. I mean you can cause trouble just by being there and not being married. Imagine a family where they basically have a second or third wife who refuses to act like a wife and just her being there can cause trouble. So if you want to do this you do it. Like jumping out of an airplane you don't put on a parachute and then fly up in a plane and then stand in the door and look at the view? If you do all that you have to do the rest of it or go home.
You have to be married after about a month if you want to do this but they do let you put off your wedding night for a while if you want. I wanted to have a real wedding night so I went ahead and did that and I will say now if I was doing it over again I would have waited a while. But that was my choice to do it right away.

Fallen Star asked about Macy and the rules don't apply to her because she is not here to get married to Steve. She is here to get her head together and have some peace and she is doing that. She and Steve keep a lot of distance and also Shari does not want a 4th wife. I am starting to really like having Macy here and would like her to stay but that is just me being selfish and I have to think that other people have to have a say in this too and I need to respect them.

CM asked about the money and property things in the church. Basically everyone has an equal share in the money and property of their family and if they decide to leave they get to have that share to get them started again some where else. People who leave are not forbidden to visit or have friends here and they get to take what is theirs when they go and that is fair. If you don't like this then no one wants to force you to stay and you will find that a lot of people will come help you leave if that is what it means to make you happy. They really are a lot of great people!
About the children I noticed right away that most of the kids will go to college and then start lives away from the church and a lot of them end up in other churches and no one bugs them about it. Like Stephanie got married and is staying in the church but her sister Lauren seriously wants to be a doctor and we are planning on that for her and it means she will be gone to medical school and all for like 12 years and she will probably not live like this.
I LOL'd on the thing about talking about church doctrine! We do it all the time! We don't really have some serious set of rules that says you have to do more than just believe in Jesus really. The big rules are about making sure you take care of your family and the stuff about what you believe is mostly up to you and we talk about it a lot. Christie told me she asked Pastor Jeff about 'organized religion' one time and he laughed and asked her to tell him when she found one because everyone in any real religion has to have their own ideas or then what they believe is not true in their heart. Like we have no rules about evolution. You can think what you want about it and people argue about it but no one gets kicked out of the church if they say the earth is billions of years old and not just a few thousand years old.
Pastor Jeff told me before I got married that the way we live is a life that leads us to God but that discovering and accepting God is something everyone has to do on their own. So there are big rules about how we live but not a lot of rules about how we believe.

Una mentioned the secrecy but that is to protect us really. When I first came here I made the mistake of sharing too much information to someone and ended up with a stalker coming here to the house to try to "rescue" me. It was pretty scary and since then I am very careful not to say too much so we don't have to worry about that.

Sort of on that topic is I get a LOT of people wanting to come visit and take pictures or do documentaries and we even had a TV network want to do a reality show on us and the answer is always no. The sheriff's department up here knows about us and leaves us alone but if we made a big deal and went on TV we'd be daring some social worker to come here and take the kids away and investigate us and after what happened to the people in Texas we know to keep to ourselves. Maybe someday we can be less about the secrets but for right now that is how it has to be.

About Donalds last comment we don't have anyone ruling our church. It's basically three congregations with their own pastors and a few small congregations with lay leaders and then a separate finance committee that the pastors and lay leaders are not allowed to be on. The church started as a commune a long time ago and everyone I ever talk to says it is still like a commune in a lot of ways. The people in Oregon actually all live on the original commune and everyone else mostly lives in their own houses in different areas.

To end this I asked Christie about some of this as I was writing and she said we are not a cult. She says when you want to leave what cult has people come help you get your stuff together, helps you move out, helps you find a place, and then gives you money to help you get started? So I don't think this is a cult.

I hope you all have a great day!

Penne in pesto with fermented garlic and mussels

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Rainy day

It is supposed to be a pretty bad day here for rain today and we already have some wind going on. It will be slow getting to school and I wish I was staying home. Steve is home today because the rain stopped his construction work and that makes me REALLY wish I was home.

Things are going pretty good. I'm a little sore in the boobs right now and that is supposed to be normal. No morning sickness so far and that is really good! Yay!

Macy is doing a lot better. It is hard to explain how she is doing better it is just something you kind of know if you know her.

I have to go real soon but I did want to ask a question. One of my friends mentioned someone thought my church was a cult. Is this something anyone else thinks? I am just curious because I can try to write about it if I need to.

Sorry I have not been on here a lot. There has been so much homework and then at home I have been spending a lot more time with my family than with my computer esp with the baby on the way. The part about the baby on the way is so cool!!!! Yesterday morning I sat in bed before I got up and just went WOW! that I have a whole another person inside me! I can't wait to meet him/her!

I hope you all have a safe and warm day!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Yay!

Thank you everyone for being so nice! Everyone here is being really nice too. On Sunday we had our church meeting and I got to announce that we have a baby on the way and it was like being a rock star! I really love the people in my church and my family and I have no doubt I made the right choice being here.

The OB wants to see me in December to do an ultrasound and probably find out if I am having a boy or a girl. A boy would be nice for Eric and Steve but a girl would be a lot of fun too. My baby will be what he or she wants to be and I will love her all the same.

School. The doctor says I will be due in late May or early June and school is supposed to finish in April so that won't be a problem.

I have to cut down on chores and am not supposed to lift anything more than ten pounds so I am trading some chores with the girls so I can still do things around here and help out and not just be a big pregnant balloon floating around the house.

Macy is doing really well. She is settling in and being a part of the family and that is a good thing for her to do that and get over stuff. She still is not staying with us permanently but it is nice to have her here for now.

My friend Erica who is not in my church but is also poly has met a great family and she visited with them and it worked out great! I am really, really happy for her because she is a great friend and a really sweet person! She deserves to be happy and she told me her visit with her potential family was the best! I am praying that it all works out for her.

I am sorry I have not been on here that much this last week but things are really busy and I was not able to get my computer to work. My stupid internet explorer was set to work offline and I did not know that. I thought my puter was broken and just gave up. Macy got on it and got it working no problem and that made me feel pretty blonde. :-/

It is time for me to get going to school. I hope you all have a great day!

Little baby feet.