Saturday, June 27, 2009

Summer heat

It's supposed to be 102 here today and so I got the a/c on early for the chickens to keep them cool. It was very hot last night and there was no breeze so it ended up being a good night to be swimming. Emmy had me up at 1am and after I got her diaper and bottle done I went for a swim. Lauren was up too and she came down to go swimming with me and we had a nice time. It must have been around 3am before we got to bed.

Christie is doing a lot better and she went shopping at Costco yesterday after she went to the mall to get a new dress. She didn't mention the baby all day long yesterday and maybe that is a good thing for right now so she can let herself heal. Thursday night she and I talked late and she told me it was okay with her if I was to be with Steve and let nature take its course because she is not much in the mood to be with Steve right now anyway.

Shari is gone to Wyoming to visit her sister for a couple days. Her sister was in to the hospital for a knee surgery and Shari just wants to go see her and help take care of her for a couple days. Shari's sister is married with kids but they have no sisterwives so that's part of why Shari wanted to go help her out. Shari will be back on Tuesday so I get to have Steve to myself and I really think I want that right now so it all works out pretty good.

I was chatting with Erica this week and we we're chatting girl stuff and it got me thinking how much I have changed being here. Who I used to be seems so far away now. I didn't even know Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett had died until Erica told me because we don't watch TV here all the time. It use to be that I had to have the TV on whenever I was home even if I wasn't watching it and now the noise from it is kind of upsetting. Especially the commercials which get so loud anymore. The world seems so far away from here that this is like a little paradise but with a swimming pool and brown grass!

The dresses are being put away for the day and we're doing shorts and tanks because of the heat. I hate to say this but when Shari is not here the dresses usually get put away especially if it is hot. Christie bought shorts and tanks for the girls and they will be doing the same thing today. Its like we are having a summer party in a way! We will just stay out of the sun and stay inside and maybe go out later. We still had to do the chores today and get the water filled up for the cattle, sheep, and horses. Around 2pm we will have to go check on them all to make sure they are all okay in the heat.

When I had my girl chat with Erica I realized that when I came here at first I was very nervous about being with Steve and now three months later I love being with him. I get chills sometimes when he touches me. I once posted on another board how I felt like I actually hurt because I wanted a baby so bad and now sometimes it is like it hurts not to feel Steve with me. I guess this is the hard part of poly because I would love to have him to myself every night. His joke with me is to ask me sometimes if I want a 'cigarette' to help me relax and it seems like as soon as he is with me I do relax. It is so different from being nervous and even afraid of him to wanting him so much it makes me anxious and then it can be a relief to be with him.

I have not said a lot about Steve here because it was distracting with the drama on here a couple weeks ago but there are things to say. I know he loves me and I mean like he smiles when he sees me and he loves to just hold me and he brings me little presents and sometimes when he is worried about his work I can kiss him and make him forget about it all. I knew he loved me at first but that was more like he loved me as family and now he loves me romantically and it has made things so much better! I wish he was home today but he has to be at a paving job today and won't be back until late because they have to do the whole job today.

I wrote some stuff on here that was all silly and mushy and then had to delete it but I guess I should be honest that Steve makes me feel silly and mushy. (-:

It will be nice when he gets home.

A new email friend of mine ends her letters with nice things and I hope she does not mind but I think I will do the same thing.

Blueberry ice cream, a shady spot, and lots of love!

4 comments:

  1. Good to see you posting again Megan.

    I'm sorry to hear about Christie's loss. If she doesn't talk about the baby for a while, it's probably still a good thing to ask how she's doing every so often, and let her talk if and when she needs to. Inwardly she may be grieving for a long time, and she needs to know that it still matters to her closest family too.

    I can totally relate to what you said about TV!! Aside from the odd movie and some kids programs, our TV doesn't go on much these days, and I don't miss it one bit. I don't understand how I used to sit in front of it for hours, flicking from one station to the next even when there was nothing worth watching (which is most of the time). It just seems like such a meaningless waste of time now. I can't stand the ads either — I find it stressful to have them on.

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  2. I'm so glad you're posting again. It makes me smile to see how happy you are and how your really growing in your new life.

    As someone who lost several babies, I agree with Donald that it would be a good idea to remember to ask Christie how she is doing. I often didn't mention the baby(ies)because I felt like I had somehow failed. I didn't think MY lose meant that much to them or that it really wasn't important. I now realize that they felt helpless and were afraid that if they talked about the baby it would open up the wound. I so wish they would have simply asked how I was doing every now and then.

    I read something recently about harmful TV is to familes. Now we're leaving the tv off most of the time. We're all more peaceful without it.

    Take care dear Megan and stay COOL!! ;-)

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  3. I would love to go swimming at night. I work at a pool and I have a key and know how to get in even without it and some nights I wish I could go take a dip. I probably will once I don't work there anymore. I've been watching Big Love and it's really interesting to see how they are in relation to how you describe things. It's funny because I never really thought about polygamy before and after reading your blog I find myself defending it to people who think it's wrong. Thank you for writing this blog and opening my eyes to this.

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  4. That reminds me of when I… I mean a friend of mine… was younger and broke into a public pool at night with his friends. It was a lot of fun (so I am told) until a car pulled up at the fence and shone its headlights on them. My friend doesn't do silly things like that anymore. :)

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