Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Birth Control and Abortion

I dropped a bomb with this one. I didn't mean to.

Erica, I love you as my friend but I never said all lesbians are abortionists. I said someone pointed out all the lesbians who were into pro-choice and all. It is true and it was proved to me by going to pages for NOW and some other pro-choice and LGBT groups. It just seems weird that lesbians are so into these things.

When I chose this life I write about I chose to leave the crazy world behind me. Some of the people in the church say we live in the world but we are not of the world. We live a different life from most people. We have different ideas.

I know what living in the world is like and I HATED it. I am not someone who was raised this way I wanted to be here because I can't stand the life I came from.

Back on February 24 I wrote about all the things I left behind because that life was so meaningless. I was so miserable with it all and now I am here and it is like I live on a different planet from so many people anymore. I don't have a cell phone and I don't text anyone. I don't buy so many things like I used to. My allowance here is $500 per month and in four months I have only spent about $200 of it. I don't need anything. I don't want anything.

I'm really happy. I am happier than I have ever been in my whole life. This is not perfect but I have little problems now instead of so many big problems.

My experience with things like not using birth control is my experience. Other people can do what they want to do and I want to do this. It is my choice. I am not saying anyone else should do this and I am not saying to ban anything. I am saying those things come with a price. My life comes with a price too and I know that.

In my old life the way it was suppose to be was I would go to college and then get a job and maybe get married someday and maybe have a baby when I was 30 and then have to keep working and leave my baby at daycare five days a week and worry about paying credit cards and for a house and car payments and have to work with bad bosses and have to not complain or lose my job.

I was so depressed thinking about what my future was suppose to be like I really did not want to live sometimes. I used to read about people with old fashion lives and I knew it was hard for them but they were happy and they had control of their lives. I wanted that too!

I know it makes no sense to people who don't get it but I gave up trying to control my life when I came here and now I am happier than ever and I really have more control of my life than I ever did before.

I am choosing this life.

The price I pay is I gave up everything I hated anyway and I am living the way I wanted to anyway.

I get up at 5:30 most mornings to make breakfast and do chores. Then I stay home all day and take care of babies, talk with my sisterwives, cook dinner, and then have a nice night almost everynight.

I don't worry about college, a career, comutting to work, traffic jams, shitty jobs and shitty bosses, and when I have a baby the last thing I will worry about is who is taking care of him for me.

The price is I give up the world and birth control and abortion which I never wanted anyway. Someone asked what happens if I have five kids and maybe I will have ten kids. That is my choice. I would love to have a big family if I can. Right now I don't know if I can even have one baby so I am not so worried about five or ten.

All of this stuff I had to go through with my mom and some of my old friends when I came here. My friend Carmen said that what upsets people the most about the way I want to live is that I am condeming the way everyone else lives by not living the way they do and haveing the same values they do.

I don't think I am condeming anyone but I don't want what everyone else wants.


  1. I'm sorry...I re-read the passage and you are right...made myself look like an idiot:) lol

    I love how you were able to give up a lot of things to trade it for the one you have now. Although I know your family lives' are pretty modern, I know that it is "old-fashioned" compared to what you used to have. I mean, I can't imagine not having a cell-phone! lol

    I love reading about your life. I totally agree with you about the worries of life. As much as I love the idea of working and all that, I don't look forward to all the baggage that comes with it like you talked about. That's another reason that I think polygyny will be beneficial to my life...I will have a loving family to contribute and support me. :)

    By the way, I know it's not till next year, but I was wondering if you and your family thought about going on the sisterwives meet-up they are planning? Just curious! :)

  2. Someone must have fired you up! hehe :)

    No worries..You are definitely not going to make everyone happen, but Christ says, "If you follow me, the world IS going to hate you." You have to do what is right for YOU and I think you are great! I do believe that our Father in Heaven is a personal God and he speaks to us all differently. For instance you have been called to be a plural wife and it is a great honor, no one should look down on you for that and shame on them for doing so. Birth Control is simply an option of regulation for having babies like condoms, some women need it and some don't..However, YOU do what YOU feel God directs you to do..However, we are on the same page with abortion :) Lovin' your blog!

    In Love,

  3. Wow. My favorite post yet.

  4. Funny how "tolerance" for most people is a one-way street, isn't it? The world demands tolerance of their beliefs but they refuse to extend the courtesy of tolerance to those who choose different beliefs. Which really means that the intolerant really are those worldly ones who proclaim how tolerant they are.

    Most poly folks I know are the most tolerant "live and let live" people in the world....way more tolerant than the fake tolerance of the worldly ones.

  5. Megan,

    Loved this post! You are SO right about NOW... I made the mistake of joining them when I was very young...

    I'm very happy that your church allows birth control when the Mother can not have children due to her health. That is important.

    Like Christian Fundy Mom said, you are not going to make everyone happy. Nor should you try, this is YOUR blog. People can wipe their feet and walk away if they don't like it. :P

    We live in the world, but are not of the world is exactly how Christians should live. I grew up with hearing that all the time. I never understood it until much later, but I believe it and use it in our household as well.

    Blessings, M

  6. Hey Megan! I loved this post really,

    I too longed for soemthing more than the 9-5 and am happy with what God gave me in return. No offense to those twho do have to deal the 9-5 but life can be so much more... it depends on the person. Poeple like you and me just want something different and thank God we get it.... if not we'd be so miserable we'd kill ourselves! Which is a shame...

    Glad you found your place of goodness. God WIlling we all do!

  7. "I don't think I am condeming anyone but I don't want what everyone else wants."
    -- That is wonderful :)

    I agree with path2felicity, this has been my favourite post :)

  8. i totally agree with you on not wanting what most people want, working a job just to pay bills and getting caught up with credit cards and car payments and all that. honestly i think your life sounds pretty close to perfect. if it wasn't for the fact that i have a boyfriend i love, and i don't want kids, and everything is so involved with the church and i am not religious i would say sign me up. i hope i get to live out in the country some day just doing chores, making meals and enjoying the simple life.

  9. I am the same way. I don't want that life at all. The poly life is definitely not for me though. There is a hippie commune about three hours from me that sounds like a wonderful place to live that supports people of all walks of life and their main missions is to reduce their carbon foot print. They produce their own food, carpool, ride bikes and everyone works the same amount of hours but doing things that interest them. It sounds like exactly what I want. I'm jealous that you've found that life already at such a young age. I have to wait because once I graduate college I will have loans to pay off so I will need a real job. I still have a lot of things to take care of before I can consider this lifestyle and you got to jump right in and everything worked out. I'm so glad you are happy!

  10. I really loved this post too! I love what you said about finding what you want in life, not what everyone else wants. It is a relief isn't it? My husband is Muslim and is happy for me to not work, or work if I want, and I feel so much pressure off. The "real world" isn't for everyone, but then I wonder if it really is the real world... sometimes I think women try to be and have everything but we cannot really do a good job if we are farming our kids off to other people away from our houses. I'm glad I get to stay home with my baby girl, and I hope you get the same when the time is right.

  11. Hi Megan, I just started reading your blog and wanted to comment on the lesbians and Abortions/Birth Control comments from a different perspective. To me it makes sense the Lesbians are conserned with these issues because they are generally Woman's Issues and Lesbians are women. Also with a lifestyle that is not accepted and not given rights to (in a way i'm sure you could relate) they focus on these issues that are trying to limit a womans right to choose the lifestyle that they want.

    Just as I think you should be able to have the lifestyle that you enjoy and works for you and I wish it was easier for you to actually live openly, I agree that people should have the rights to make other decisions even if I don't agree with them. And I think women in general around the world are controled and I think that sometimes lesbian woman feel they are missing out on certian rights so they are more protective of those rights.

    Thanks for your blog and the glimpse into your unique life.

  12. Hi Megan I am new to your blog and have really enjoyed reading it so far. I was trying to think of how to respond to your last entry on Birth Control/Lesbians because it touched a nerve and frankly offended me to some degree. But I am glad that I went on to read this next entry because you clarified things so well. I know that you can be somewhat self conscious about your writing but I really commend you for laying out your thoughts so clearly and succinctly.