Wednesday, April 8, 2009

My birth family.

Kafira asked:

I would very much like to know about your birth-family. That would show us a picture larger regarding your choice to enter this kind of family.

I don't have a lot of time for a big response right now but here it is.

My father is in prison and he is there for some good reasons. I won't be visiting him anytime soon and that is because he made my life better by leaving it. My mother is okay but she is so into her own problems that she doesnt have anytime for me and hasn't for a long time. We were never a really great family and when my older brother died when he was 14 and I was 9 that killed any chance my family had of being normal. My brother died from smoking pot and then drinking a bottle of vodka. After he died the arguments at home were pretty constant and the best thing I did was to go be with my friends.

I try not to cuss but my family is fucked up. I know I am effed up from all of that too but I tried to not use my bad family as an excuse to fail. I am dyslexic and school will never be a big deal to me and writing takes me forever. Spell check is my friend so I don't ever text much or IM.

Last year when the FLDS people in Texas had their raid and all I started to learn about poly and at the same time I was wanting to be a mom and then a stay at home mom. I don't want to just be at home by myself so poly really attracts me because it is a family with friends in it. I am not Mormon so when I got my computer for Christmas I got on the net and started in on some sites and Christie invited me to come visit her family since I wanted to know about the life. I ended up babysitting for them on Valentines and then they asked me to join them and live here so here I am. And then Steve asked me to marry him after I realized I never wanted to leave. I was not totally in love with him at the time but it made sense and now I love him so much! I love being with him and if you could see him with the girls and the babies and then with Shari and Christie and me you'd see what an awesome man he is. He is all man like Christie and Shari say and he has so much love.

Christie is my closest friend in the house because Shari is more like an older sister to me and Christie tore me up already with what is in my mind and all. I know my family was bad and I wanted something wonderful and then I also wanted to be a mom and a wife and here I get everything I wanted. I know the poly thing is a big deal to a lot of people but we are really just a big family. Most of what happens here is stuff that happens in every other family and is not a big deal. Steve just has three wives. But that is not bad because we all love each other and it is legally not any different than some guy who has a wife and cheats on her with two other women.

Our marriage is not legal and we never tried to make it legal. So we are breaking no laws. This is just what makes us all happy and this is the happiest I have EVER been.

I hope that explains it for you. Sorry about the cussing but the words in red save me a lot of time trying to describe things.

5 comments:

  1. I'm really happy for you Megan, to have found this family. It is a great thing for you to have such a support network in your co-wives and husband. I only started reading about your story today but I hope to read back more :)

    As long as you are happy, and the other wives are so lovely, I think it is great. And your husband: he sounds like a great man. You are very fortunate to find his love.
    Best wishes
    Sarah xx

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  2. I am also really happy for you. Your new family sounds so lovely and wonderful. I can't wait to get on here one day and see a headline that says "I'M PREGNANT!"

    Your going to be a wonderful mother.

    BTW, you are so beautiful in your picture.

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  3. Congratulations on your new life. You sound very happy and fulfilled. With that being said I must say that from the outside looking in, it isn't surprising that you chose the poly lifestyle considering your childhood.

    As a mother of two young women (18 & 23) I am very adamant that my daughters have the means and skills to be able to support themselves. I worry about women like yourself who are in poly relationships and not the legal wife. Since you are not legally recognized as Steve's wife, if something were to happen to him or if he or you decided that you no longer should be a part of the family you have no legal recourse other than child support if you have children with him.

    I know that you trust and love your sister wives and husband, but time can and does change people and I guess I would just like to encourage you to do what is necessary to support yourself and your children if you ever find yourself no longer a part of your current family.

    Being young and child-free right now would be the perfect opportunity for you to further your education and have your own means of financial resources. Being a SAHM (stay at home mom) is a nobel role, but knowing how and being able to support yourself and your children is a necessity, especially if you have no legal rights as a spouse.

    I wish you great luck and success in your new life. I hope you don't see this post as a critical judgement on your life, I mean well. I hate to see women limit themselves at such a young age. I say this from experience because I had the same dreams as you when I was your age and did not take advantage of higher education or learn a trade, thinking that my marriage would last forever. Well, it didn't and I had two babies to raise and no job skills or education other than high school.

    You can have the best of both worlds if you want. Please give it some thought and again, good luck.

    Best Wishes....Amy

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  4. Your story is wonderful to read and amazing. What site did you join that you found them? Perhaps letting that known would help others that are looking for a wonderful family open to poly, it would give many a chance at the happiness you have too.

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  5. Megan,

    The great thing about when you get married is that you create your own family. So, you can take the lesson's you've learned from your parents/family and take that into your new family. Your fortunate to have them, as you know, they are also just as fortunate to have you.

    I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed reading your blog and have been doing so since you posted the link on sisterwives. Thank you so much for sharing. I'm sorry for the loss of your brother, I'm sure he would be glad to know that you are as happy as you are now.

    I look forward to reading more in the future! I truly believe in my heart you are right where God intends you to be, that is a great feeling isn't it?

    mywafflesandsyrup from sister wives

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