Wow. That's a lot of stuff on my last post!
I had a lot of things to think about between email and comments on the blog tonight. Steve is out of town tonight for business and Shari went with him and right now almost everyone is up late.
Questions are okay but there are a lot of them tonight!
ALM asked a few things and the legal thing is we have a limited liability partnership and the house and some money is in a trust and the members of the llp have rights in the trust so it is all legal and I am very safe. And no one in our church goes on assistance because most everyone watches their money really good and there are not a lot of debts that are okay. Most people even pay cash for their cars and trucks. I am already on Steve's healthcare and it is really good! We have Kaiser and it is a lot better than my mom's old healthcare. Steve's name is on all five birth certificates.
Marcus asked somethings and he is really organized!
1. Do you discuss your sex life with your sisterwives?
Yes but more with Christie than with Shari. Shari is more concerned about me like a mom that I am okay with everything and Christie is more like a sister or a friend and we talk about a lot of private things.
2. Now that you've had almost a month of being married how do you like sex? Is it still new to you or are you very comfortable with the experience?
I like it just fine! I was sore at first and that went away and now it is mostly nice and sometimes pretty wonderful! The part that is hard to get used to is sleeping with someone and sometimes waking up with Steve getting romantic and having to think about where I am. There are somethings that are new like when we do things a way that is new for me and I am comfortable with it because I trust Steve never to hurt me or do anything I don't want.
3. Do you and Steve ever talk about making a baby while you're making love? How does this make you feel?
Steve likes to rub my tummy a lot and will talk about me having a baby when we are alone sometimes and it is hard to explain but the way he does it is so romantic! We were being romantic on Thursday night and he was behind me talking about babies and holding my tummy and that made me want him and it really made me want to be pregnant and get pregnant! He will say things like he wants to see me fill out a dress and it just makes me really interested in having him do that so I guess it makes me feel very very good!
4. You got to see Christie give birth and now you are most certainly looking at doing the same thing some day soon and I'm curious about your thoughts on giving birth and becoming a mother.
It is real scary to think about it like that! The sex and being pregnant are the easy part but the birth and labor and all that is scary and like just a month ago having Steve in me was making me sore and then it is like a BABY is supposed to come out that way??? It is very scary and I decided to worry about it when I have to and just try to enjoy everything right now.
5. I've wondered if you have tried suckling the baby you take care of? Would Christie be opposed to you trying this?
Sometimes Emmy won't do the bottle so Christie is okay with me having her on me and I drip the milk into her mouth. Christie has a book she shared with me saying this was okay and it really makes me feel very close to Emmy and Christie and it is part of the answer to #4 that someday having my own baby suckling me for real makes the scary part of birth seem worth everything.
6. Do any other people in the families in your church write about their lives like you do? If so, can you share their websites?
I am the only one and I have to be careful to keep a lot of things to myself. Like I don't talk much about the other families and I don't put up many pictures. They don't make things secret but they don't want to be on the news so everyone keeps pretty quiet.
7. Have any single girlfriends? :-P
Donald posted a comment I liked.
Megan has taken a risk in joining her new family. Taking risks is part of life! The person who takes no risks isn't really living.
My biggest risk was on my wedding night and I know I have a lot I am sort of gambling with but I have gained so much! I have two wonderful friends and a wonderful loving husband and they took a really big risk trusting me to be part of the family and my two sisterwives took a big risk trusting me with their husband and their children and their home. I know it is only a month but I think I did okay!
In email I have a new friend who wrote about how a lot of poly families have older wives and they seem to want younger wives so they can have more babies. That really describes me and Christie but its okay if that is what you want. She really wrote about a lot of poly people who want to meet new women and some of them are perverts and some just want a once time thing and some want a woman who will have babies.
I dont think it is a bad thing to be with someone who wants you to have babies with them. Christie said that when she married Steve she felt like she was doing something wrong until she got pregnant and then everything changed and she felt a real part of the family and she did not feel like it was temporary anymore. When I came here I wanted a baby and a family but they were just ideas in my head and then I saw Christie give birth to Emmy and the first time Steve made love to me all I was thinking about was me on my back some day being just the same way Christie was and having a baby. Now I think about how much Steve loves me and trusts me to be a great mom to his children and I think like Christie that once I am pregnant it will be easier to settle in and really be a part of the family. And now I love it when Steve is with me and I feel him inside me trying to make a baby and it just makes me feel closer to him and Shari and Christie. I know there is a lot of thought about the sex and I think about it a lot more than before but what some people are missing is that the sex to me isn't just Steve and me mating but Steve and me loving each other and trusting each other. I have never felt so loved in my whole life. It makes me cry sometimes thinking about it. I used to cry because I hurt so much with this hole in my heart and now I cry because the love filled holes in my heart I didn't know I had.
I didn't know how bad things were in my life until everything was so much better. I was used to things being bad and now I am used to them being wonderful.