I hope you and your family are having a wonderful day! We'll be having about twenty people here today (maybe a few more) and the upside of that is a lot of hands to help in the kitchen!
With that I hope you all have a blessed and Happy Thanksgiving!
Now I'm taking a moment this morning to post about how I've managed to attract the attention of another bully/blackmailer. This is someone I angered or upset on another website who decided to stalk me on the internet and try to scare me by threatening to "reveal" things about me to my friends on this blog.
After some consideration and discussion with a very wise person I've decided to take away this person's thrill by being up front about some things. For the people who know me from Yahoo Messenger there won't be too many surprises here. I've already shared most of this with you.
For the people who only know me from this blog there may be some surprises and if they upset you or disappoint you then I'm sorry.
In no particular order here goes:
* I am moderating comments for now because once again someone thinks they have a right to use my blog as a weapon to hurt me. To quote no end of basketball players: "Not in my house!"
You don't get to use this space as a place to hurt me. Not now, not ever.
* The bully accuses me of using a friendlier 'voice' on this blog than I do on other places in the net and that's true. Here I always feel like I am talking to my friends and I speak differently to my friends than I do to sometimes hostile strangers on the net. I think I am using my internet voice right now and not my 'speaking to friends' voice.
* It's not the first time I've been accused of being a boy/man. I've been hearing this kind of thing ever since junior high school. I sometimes get compared to Ann Coulter if that helps. I don't think I need to say anything more on this.
* I don't sound like other people and that's true. I am somewhat autistic and with that comes an above average amount of narcissism and an inability to perceive certain emotions. One of my close friends says I am 'emotionally color blind'. It's not that I don't understand the feelings of other people it's just that I don't feel them myself sometimes. Some people think I'm cold that way and maybe I am but it's who I am.
* I do not post a lot about my family anymore and is it any wonder why when there's people out on the net who want to use every bit of information to try to stalk you, track you down, and act as if they have some sort of power over you? I've had one stalker come to the ranch and that was pretty scary. Now that I have children I am going to make clear that the next crazy person who shows up on the ranch to try to prove some insane point is absolutely positively going to get shot. I am not going to risk the safety of my family or myself trying to play any more crazy games with anyone. Period.
* I was raped when I was sixteen. This is not a secret. This being a mostly family friendly blog anymore I don't post on here that my sexual responses are skewed. I get aroused by forceful sex and it's not because I'm into rape it's because I'm a masochist and at some level I don't get aroused unless there's an element of "I deserve this" in the mix. Bluntly, I'm fucked up and I know it. Anyone reading this blog and who knows me off of the blog knows it too. Yes, I've tried therapy and the best advice I received was to not worry about trying to not be this way but to accept that it's part of who I am.
* I do not have a formal college education but I know a lot of things. Prior to joining my family I didn't really have that many resources for education and school for myself was not about education it as just about trying to do enough to graduate and get it over with. After joining my family I was embarrassed that Steve's older daughters were younger than me and they knew so much more than I did. I redid high school as a home school curriculum, worked on my attention problems, and after I got reading glasses found that I liked to read.
Steve has a huge library of political and military books and that's what was there to read and now I like some of that stuff and I also like to read fiction! I NEVER read any fiction growing up and now I read it all the time. I'm right now reading the story Ivanhoe and then will be working my way through a collection of classic stories that the older girls had.
I'm also trying to work on my writing. I write what's on my mind and some of it's offensive to some people (I'm effed up, right?).
* I post on political sites and one in particular I favor called Free Republic. What got me started on the site is that it's all text with no advertising and it's easy to use over a really bad wifi/DSL connection. Yahoo Messenger is mostly useless to me anymore because it's hard to use unless I'm on the computer and no one else is using the net at the same time. I also post on chicken discussion groups, cooking forums, family forums, and breast feeding forums. I had an account on Tumblr which was an outlet for me and that's been ruined by this bully.
I have NOT had active accounts on dating or poly dating sites since I met my family on the Sac Poly Yahoo Group site. About four or five years ago an internet stalker/bully/idiot signed me up for a pile of dating sites and some really disgusting things and all but one of the dating sites ended up cancelling the accounts for me. The one site let me change the password and after I removed all of the content from the profile the account has been inactive ever since.
* I am an autodidact. That means I am self-taught. I learned that from someone on Free Republic...which is part of why I like that site. I've learned a lot there. In the past year or so I've made a serious effort to improve my vocabulary and I intend to use it whether or not it upsets anyone else.
* I'm obsessive compulsive. It is not a disorder to me because I direct it to things where it becomes a gift and not a curse. I like repetitive things like quilting so I make quilts and donate them to people who need them. I've mastered target shooting much to the joy of my husband! I'm also taking up knitting.
I hope none of this bothers any of you but there it is.
And to the person who felt like it was his/her personal mission in life to attack me I'd like to invite you to go to hell. You will not scare me or intimidate me.