Monday, June 1, 2009

Erica's questions

I'm up late with Emmy so I am checking my blog and Erica had two questions:

What about if you get pregnant? Will you still go to school?

For question #1 I hope so! And for question #2 I would go to school if I were pregnant just like anyone else would.

ChristianFundyMom said somethings about birth control being a big deal in poly families and it is! I can see how some people see it as a control thing but that is only if they want to be able to have sex and not have babies or if they are not sure of their husband or boyfriend being there for them. After talking to people in the church it was pointed out to me that an awful lot of women who get angry about birth control and abortion are lesbians who really just have problems with men. The first time someone said this to me I was like OMG! I can't believe they said that! And then after they took the time to point out all the lesbians who have been in the women's rights movement that pushed for abortion and birth control I had to agree that it was just plain true.
Religious poly families (Christian, Mormon, Muslim, pagan) all seem to not want birth control for about the same reasons and I wrote about those before but mostly it makes sex something kind of cheap and easy and then the sex loses something. Christie told me some of her life before she met Steve and Shari and she said that the sex she used to have was cold because it was safe sex and the couple times she did it unsafe were the best for her.
I didn't get her thing with getting pregnant until a few weeks ago when I was with Steve one night and he asked me how it felt to know I might be getting pregnant with his baby. It really felt so special to be with him knowing he wanted to be there for me and that he loved me so much he wanted a baby with me. I don't think a woman can feel closer to a man than when she is with him and making a baby with him. It really is making love because your love makes a baby to love and who can love you back.

I know there are a lot of reasons why not to want birth control but I think this is the best one is that you miss this amazing feeling of love with each other when it is just about having an orgasm.


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  3. The Women's Movement (which birth control and abortion were front and center issues), The Civil Rights Movement, and the Legalization of Same Sex Marriages, (just to name a few historic events), are all about having the same legal rights as others.

    There were/are straight's, gays, bi's,blacks, whites, hispanics, asians, and any other ethnic group you can think of who/are providing the momentum to all these causes for justice and equality. It's a shame that some in your church try to malign lesbians by suggesting that they were the catalyst to legalizing abortion and promoting birth control.

    If we're all totally honest here, (no offense guys) but the impetus for all these injustices are/were due to a patriarchial society - meaning that white men have ruled this country from day one and they haven't always had the welfare and best interest of anyone literally not like them at heart.

    So yes, there is some truth to the fact that women who partipated in the Women's Movement (gay and straight) did have problems with men. But it was because the men in power who made the laws and ran the corporations paid women less than their male counterparts and tried to controll what a woman could and could not do with her own body. And it is true that the black men and women of the Civil Rights Movement had issues with men (white ones) as well. Again, the common denominator is inequality.

    Would you like it if the government said you couldn't take chemotherapy drugs to fight your cancer because you were interferring with God's will? That by taking the drugs you were intervening and not allowing your faith in Him to heal you by itself?

    That's no different than the government telling you you have to give birth to a baby conceived by rape or that you must go full term even though the pregnancy could kill you. It's all about having choices about your body.

    The statement regarding lesbians and abortion/birth control is as disturbing as saying that all women who participate in a polygamous lifestyle don't believe in birth control because the more children they have (the wives not recognized as the wife by law) the more state aid they will recieve thus taking the financial burden off the husband.

    Now, I know that this is not the situation in your family, but it is very common and wide spread among the FLDS (sect of Mormonism that practice polygamy - the compound raid in Texas last year). My point is that you would not like it if people lumped you into that group who intentionally commit fraud for financial gain.

    I would think that the poly families would be all for having the same legal rights as other familes that are monogamous. I do believe that they should be entitled to the same legal rights as everyone else.

    I hope that if you do get the right to be legally recognized as Steve's third wife one day you will remember that it was because of the precedent those "lesbians" set back in the 60's.

    When they demanded to have sole ownership of their bodies and their reproductive rights, they opened a door for you to have a chance to legally marry a man that already has a wife.

  4. Hi Megan, THANKS for the blurb! :)

    I didn't read everyone's responses in regards to birth control and the only thing I can give you is my own experience and feelings :P I am on birth control now and really it is pointless but at the time, it was a neccessary move for my family. I DO, however, plan on getting off of it. After much discussion and a hormonal mess after having my baby (PPD) we felt it was a safe and good thing for me to be on something until I stabled out. However, with that being said..The Birth Control I am on has ZERO hormone and I can still get pregnant..I have never denied my husband children, nor would I ever, but for financial and emotional reasons the move was appropraite. hehe..I have told him recently I want another one before I am twenty-six :P Do you think that is too forward of me?? J/k

    But, YES! haha..You want to ripple some feathers, mention birth control :)

    In Love

  5. I didn't like the comment you made about how lesbians are all abortionists or whatever. I think that is a little close-minded. I agree with ALM that, for the most part, the LGBT community supports having equal rights for all people. You are my very good friend, lol, so I don't say all this to piss you off or anything, but I don't think it's fair to take it out on them. As you know, I think abortion is wrong, so it's not like I'm fighting you on that front:)

    BTW: I'm moving this weekend so I won't be on for a while, so hopefully I can catch you on later:)

  6. Dear Megan:

    I would like to say something about your comments to Christian Fundy Mom, from a male point of view. First of all, if you stop and think why would lesbians want to get involved with birth control or abortion when they have no need for either because they are with like sex people. Doesn't make much sence.

    I must agree that the women involved with the aformention organizations for the most part have negitive issues with men. However, everyone wants to talk about equality on the issues and I am all for equality of the laws and to that point you should have the equal right to believe in what you want as well as someone else believe in what they want. But when these organizations try to force their issues on us I call for a screeching hault! With that in mind, you have to make up your own mind as to what is best for you and not be influnced by someone elses opinion. Use your own common sence and learn for yourself the issues pro and con and make up your own mind what is best for you.

    Before I get off my soap box, I want to say something else. That is, I am old enough to remember back when abortions were illegal. I also remember that back then there wasn't hardly a day or week that went by without an artical in the news of a woman dieing from a butcher that had attempeted to give her an illegal abortion in some unsavery unclean let alone sterale envirement. Many unneccessary women died horrable deaths because they didn't have the choice to get medical help for their mistakes. Now at least they have a right to that medical help. This does not mean I condone abortions. If I had my drothers, I would hope the couple would make the right choice and keep the child and love it. But I am not so nieve to think that there are not some cases where an abortion isn't necessary. For that reason, I am glad that every woman has the right to chose and be legal about it.

    Enough said. You must learn to find out what is best for YOU and stand by your convictions with a piecefull mind knowing in your heart for you it is the right dission.

    God Bless and help you to make the right decissions.

  7. Megan, please don't speak about Islam's position on birth control if you don't know about it.

    Spacing children in Islam is permitted, even encouraged. Birth control is allowed in Islam.
    Abortion is even allowed, in certain circumstances, according to most scholars.

    If Muslim poly families don't use birth control, it's usually because one wife is trying to keep up with the other wife in the child-bearing department for reasons OTHER than religion.

    The use of birth control does not cheapen sex, according to Islamic thought. Sex is just not for procreation in Islam. Muslims are encouraged to keep their spouses satisfied sexually, as this is a basic human need, and the lack of fulfillment creates problems in families and societies. It's not necessarily the goal to have a bunch of kids.

  8. I have been reading this blog with interest without every commenting. But must say that I have been completely turned off by your churches comments about lesbians. It's not only ridiculous but it really shows their ignorance. Frankly, I woud be very concerned about following a church that makes such patently false and homophobic statements. You are in a minority of people fightig for your rights. I would think that the church would be a bit more compassionate and understanding about other minorities who ae also fighting for their rights.

  9. Maryam in Marrakesh, you can't handle the truth, can you? Lesbians are VERY active in the birth control and abortion rights movements and saying that is neither homophobic nor patently false. A cursory gander about the NOW site alone puts the truth to what Megan's church said. Lesbians are very much involved in these topics and it is a valid question to ask why women who ostensibly will never need birth control or abortions are so militant about these topics does beg an answer.
    I will add to this that a church that is seeking to re-establish a right that existed in the USA as recently as 1890 is a far cry from lesbians and homosexuals who want to assert their various perversions (fisting, felching, scatting, twinking, etc.) as "normal". They aren't.
    It is your comment that speaks to the ignorance of political correctness because you label as a lie something that LGBT groups THEMSELVES readily acknowledge. I don't care to engage you in a debate about this topic because you have already stated your aversion to facts that fly in the face of your PC assumptions.

    But here is an example for you that took me all of 30 seconds to find:

    And then they list two acknowledged lesbians as 'feminist pioneers'; Margaret Sanger and Emma Goldman.

    Perhaps you need to send an email to the Lambda Legal site and tell them how homophobic they are for promoting "patently false and homophobic statements".

    Right after you do that you owe Megan an apology.

  10. And then after they took the time to point out all the lesbians who have been in the women's rights movement that pushed for abortion and birth control I had to agree that it was just plain true.
    Religious poly families (Christian, Mormon, Muslim, pagan) all seem to not want birth control for about the same reasons and I wrote about those before but mostly it makes sex something kind of cheap and easy and then the sex loses something. Christie told me some of her life before she met Steve and Shari and she said that the sex she used to have was cold because it was safe sex and the couple times she did it unsafe were the best for her.

    Ok, I really don't understand the mindset there.

    I'm no fan of self-proclaimed feminists, but I can agree with their work. That said, NOW does push for greater reproductive rights for women. Lesbians aren't pursuing greater access to birth control for their own benefit; they're advocating it for the benefit of women in general.

    Please don't take this as a personal affront Megan, but I think you've become a little jaded with having a supportive family around you to help take care of your every need. For what it's worth I think the policy you quote ("it makes sex something kind of cheap and easy and then the sex loses something") is completely misguided-- it's real easy for polygamist groups to oppose birth control on whatever grounds they choose since they have extensive support networks to help new mothers deal with unexpected pregnancies. They don't need birth control, since there's always a guarantee that the baby can be taken care of.

    Unfortunately out here on the other side of reality, some women get knocked up and the baby's daddy absconds. They can't count on support from their own parents. It's not their friends' problem. Since she can't work, she ends up worrying about how to keep a roof over her head while collecting food stamps/WIC. Daycare costs are exorbitant so work is difficult if not impossible.

    When you're utterly alone, being a single mom sucks.

    This is the sort of problem these wretched lesbians and feminists are attempting to resolve-- allowing women greater access to birth control so women can (a) prevent an unwanted pregnancy, and (b) terminate an unwanted pregnancy. I don't agree with the moral ramifications of (b) but lesbians/NOW are hardly horrible people for wanting to prevent women from falling into the trap of getting pregnant and being unable to provide for their child.