I was reading one of the comments and it said I'm writing a polygamy fairy tale and I guess I have been. I know it is a real situation and all but to me this is a whole different world from where I grew up. I know I wrote about my mom and dad not having a good marriage and my dad being away but the truth is that he is in prison for almost killing someone in a fight and he won't be eligible for parole until 2024. My mom refuses to divorce him and we used to argue about it all the time. I won't go see him because I don't miss him at all. My life was so much better after he was arrested and I don't care to visit someone I didn't like anyways.
This life IS a fairy tale to me and I know we have real problems and all but I guess I just don't see them as any big deal compared to what I used to deal with. The big problems we have in the house are everyone getting used to my cooking which is different from what Shari and Christie do and sometimes the girls don't like how I make somethings and I have to redo them. I don't mind and most of the time I like how they like things too. Christie doesn't have problems in the family but she does have problems in the church because she says what is on her mind and she will says when she thinks they are wrong on some things and she won't give in if she thinks she is right. Like Stevie wants to get married as soon as she can and Christie really wants her to go to college and get a degree so she has choices in life. I asked Christie what she thought of me and she said it was different for me because I was outside the life and chose to join it but Stevie is inside it and should know some more about the world before she gets married.
Stevie and a 22 year old guy from another family that works with Steve have a thing going and Stevie wants to get married after she turns 16 and Christie is saying Stevie needs some time outside the life before making any choices. But then in private Christie says to me that she wishes she had been married at 16 because she would have avoided a lot of mistakes she made so it is complicated and I just really stay out of it for right now. In California it is legal for someone who is 16 to get married with her parent's permission so this is okay because it would be a legal first marriage.
Shari wants another baby and was ovulating yesterday so she slept with Steve last night and will stay with him this weekend. I'm finding out that this is a big deal to her to have another baby while she still can so I said okay and I don't mind a break from being with Steve right now just so I can get some sleep. I got to sleep in this morning and Stevie made breakfast so I feel pretty good right now.
I guess I don't write about all the work that goes on because it would just be the same thing all the time. It isn't a problem but unless I say it happens I guess it seems like this is some fairytale. A lot of work happens here everyday and part of how Shari and Christie and me get along is by working together and helping each other. I'm not used to so much work all the time and it took me a while to know what all to do and to get good at somethings like putting molasses on the cattle feed in the right amount and how to drive the tractor real slow and all sorts of other things that I never had to do at home with my mom. Christie really likes me because when I take care of Eric and Emmy she can do her work or go run. And Christie wearing running tops and shorts is not something the church approves of and Christie doesn't care and just says she will do what she wants about exercise. Christie does a LOT of exercise and you can't tell she had a baby almost a month ago. She said to me 'Look at me and tell me the church is right?' and the church is wrong. She says she wants to keep in good health for herself and her kids and she wants to be beautiful for Steve so how is what she is doing wrong? She keeps trying to get me to exercise with her and I might start running with her now that the weather is better.
I don't mean to make this seem so magical but it is really special for me and I know I go on and on but this is a fairy tale for me. Shari said I needed to be sure that when I came her I was running to something and not running from something and it really is both. I was so miserable before I came here that all the big problems here seem small to me and a lot of it I don't even notice. That's why I don't write so much about problems because they are not that big a deal to me.
With Shari and Christie and me we get along pretty good because this is not an arranged family like the FLDS Mormon people do. The women in those families have no choice about who gets to be in their family so they have a lot of problems. Shari and Christie both had to say yes to me so if they didn't like me I would not be here.
I didn't write anything the last two days because I had a lot of work of my own to catch up on and then Wednesday after dinner Steve wanted some private time with me. Having him miss me when he was at work almost made me cry! It's nice to have someone so special love me like he does. It's a lot easier to be with him and he likes that I am so comfortable with him now. I trust him a lot and I love to be with him so when he made eyes at me after dinner it was easy to just go with him and let him do what he wanted to do. Christie was funny when we came downstairs and asked if we had a good conversation and Steve said 'Very good!'
It is still a little embarrassing to have everyone including the girls know what we're doing but I think I'm the only one embarrassed anymore. The girls make some jokes but just accept it and Shari is sweet and asks how I'm doing and is like a mom worrying about me. Christie told me a few things that Steve likes and it was weird to get advice on being a good lover from someone who is also Steve's lover but it was good advice. And one thing I discovered is weird is imagining what Steve is like with Shari and Christie but especially Shari. Christie is really sexual so thinking about her having sex is not too hard but Shari is so sweet and like a mom to me that it is hard to think that she was with Steve last night the same way I was with him the night before.
The best part of being married now is it is so easy to be near Steve now. Before it was kind of scary and thrilling and now it feels comfortable and natural like we been this way all along.
That is enough for today! It is really nice outside and I want to go be in the garden and have some sun.