Sunday, December 20, 2009

Merry Christmas!

It is a quiet day at the house. I'm here with the girls and everyone else is out for different reasons. It is kind of nice to just have some quiet time. Not a lot to tell you right now, things are fine with the babies and things are pretty quiet at home. Christmas is coming and I am very much looking forward to it! For Christmas Eve I am doing a red velvet cake and doing it up in a traditional Christmas theme. My mom says she will try to be here and that might be nice I hope.

I am not so sure I will be on here again the rest of the week so Merry Christmas to everyone!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Happy Sunday!

The weather here is rainy but at least it is warmer and we don't have any snow left in the yard. The heater is off in the chicken coop. Last week it was just so cold that I didn't want them to be cold so I had the heater on and the chickens all mostly stayed inside all day. Someone asked how many chickens I have now and I guess it is around 90 or so. I know there were some sick chickens that Steve took care of but all of the rest are doing fine.

I'm about four months along now. The babies are moving and I am starting to feel it. It's not like the easiest thing to notice but I do feel it sometimes and it is just weird to feel something moving inside me. I've had a couple nosebleeds and the OB says this is normal and okay but to use a sinus rinse to keep things moist. The morning sickness is totally gone, my boobs are not sore anymore, but now my feet hurt especially if I am standing up a lot. It is easier than it was a couple weeks ago. I'm also not as emotional and that is good news for everyone!

Macy is doing fine. She has a blog she does for her friends and she also does Facebook and MySpace but won't be making any of it public like I did. Don't bother asking me about it because the answer is already no. (-:

Steve landed a big contract for construction and this was really good news. He is off right now because of the weather but did not have much set for next year and how he does. The one problem is the job will be about 200 miles away so he will be staying down there a lot and then coming back when he can. This will go on for almost all next year.

Christie and Shari are doing a lot of baking right now. We had put up a lot of frozen berries in the summer and fall and now they are coming out to be made into pies. I'm helping some with the pie crusts but mostly I just stay out of the way because Shari and Christie really have this down like a pie factory.

Stephanie (Stevie) and her husband are doing really good and we had them over last night for dinner. After dinner the men went out to the barn to do something and Stevie told us about things. She's really happy and this is what she wanted in a very big way. She is looking forward to being a mom and is really happy for me having the twins.

School is going along well. We start a new series of classes tomorrow and that will be fun. I have to pick up some new cook ware at school tomorrow and I also get more knives for the new classes. I am seriously loving the knives! It is so cool to have a knife so sharp you just let it rest on meat and pull it across and you feel it cut. I never really cared before how sharp a knife was but now I am all about it. I got the whetstone out at home to sharpen all our kitchen knives and it was kind of fun to see the difference with each knife.

My morning class this time around is cake decorating and it will be a lot of fun. Each week we have to do a new cake for our project and we have to explain all of what we do in front of the class. The best part is then we get to take the cake home! Yay!

LOL speaking of cake and yummy things I am up almost 15 pounds. I don't think I will be wearing a bikini at the beach anytime soon!

Time to go. We are going to a Christmas concert in Vallejo where one of the families in our church is singing in a choir with their other church (they do both churches). It will be fun and we are going in two cars and I am going to some of the driving so that will be cool.

Have a wondeful week!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

21 degrees

It was 21 here this morning and that is really cold! I have the heater on for the chickens and we have the fireplace going in the house along with the pellet stove and it is now 10:16 and it is still just about 60 in the house. This morning was my first serious experience with morning sickness and it was not a lot of fun. It was time to stay home from school and since it is so cold out it was not a hard decision to stay home and not go out.
The babies are doing fine and I am doing fine too. I mostly wear sweats any more at home because they are more comfortable than my other pants. I don't know if I put this on here but a while back Shari said it was okay not to have to wear dresses all the time and we've been really enjoying not doing that all the time.

On Sunday at the church service Steve and Macy got married. I know I have not even posted much about them lately just because I was tired of the drama from a lot of people who know who they are.

Macy married Steve because she really wants to be a part of our family and being married means she can stay here now. She is still waiting before the two of them do anything romantic and that is her choice and it is up to her when that might happen. She says it will probably be next year sometime but she won't say when or anything. I'm very happy that she is staying because I love her and would miss her a lot if she left.

A question from my email friends was how many wives will the church allow and the answer is four. I had thought there was a Bible reason for this but Pastor Jeff says it is just that after four wives a man is showing off his wealth and it is considered kind of rude and then it can make people jealous who can't afford a bigger family so it makes sense. More than four sister wives would be kind of a crowd in the house too. Macy has been in Stephanie's old room anyway so it is not like we have to move people around for this.

One of my email friends needs your prayers for his family and it would be really great if people would pray for him and his family. They are having a hard time right now.

School is going really well. We're working on fish right now and learning how to filet and scale and all sorts of things. The best thing I am liking so far with fish is baking halibut. Grilled halibut is good too but baking it makes it come out so moist and it just falls apart. Fish was never a big deal to me before but now I am starting to like it now that we are using fresh fish. Fish to me growing up was always fish sticks and those are made from pollock which is a kind of really cheap fish that does not have a lot of flavor. Salmon is good but the flavor with halibut is more consistent.

Christmas is going to be really special here. We have a big tree in the foyer and it looks so cool! We did it in mostly red and silver for a theme and then we have red and white lights outside. Stephanie and her husband will be having Christmas here and Christie's mom is coming, one of Steve's brothers will be here and Shari says a couple of her sisters will be here too. It will be a bunch of us sharing beds for a few days and that will be nice too. Only bad part is sharing bathrooms!

We had five inches of snow yesterday and that was a big surprise because it does not always snow here. There is still enough on the ground to make it really pretty out but yesterday was really cool.

That is it for right now.

Have a Happy Tuesday!

Friday, November 27, 2009

What's the deal?

So what is with the people who write nasty things on my blog but then they don't have a blog of their own? Are they afraid of what everyone else might say about them?

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Moderation

I turned on the comment moderation and the people who were being a problem are not even putting in comments at all now.

It is now my turn to say something.

Other than asking people to donate to help out Jaycee Dugard I don't ask anything from anyone. I don't ask anyone to join us but the people who do write to me and want to join I have them talk to my pastor because that is not my thing. One of the people who was being a jerk did make me think about what I get from writing this and since it is Thanksgiving on Thursday I am thankful for the friends I have met on here.

My new sister Macy.

Erica, the best friend I never met.

Steady. Her name says it all.

Donald.

Carlton.

My three new friends who are also poly...they know who they are.

And more.

I am pretty lost a lot of times and I write things here that are in my heart and troubling me and then there are times I get to chat with my friends on IM and share these things and work them out. You guys are my friends who listen to my screwed up mess and help me work things out. I am not sure I would have stayed here without my friends and that is especially to mean Erica. (-:

So friends are what I have to show for all this and I am very thankful to God for all of you.

Thank you and I pray you all have a wonderful and loving Thanksgiving.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Monday night

Just taking a moment from my home work. Thank you to everyone who had the nice comments. I really appreciate that! Sorry I am not so good at keeping everything straight its not like I ever said I was a genius or anything.

So yeah the OB said that I might have to have the babies early and she also said I might have to do a c-section but I am hoping to do it the normal way. I won't be having them at home but will go to the hospital when the time comes. She also says I have to think about leaving school before school is done and the school says I can do that and take the classes I miss sometime in the next two years if I want so that is pretty cool.

Back to work.

Have a nice night!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Three months

It is on again with people getting all picky about what I say. My OB said I was due in late May or early June and that is still what she says. She just never said how far along I was and I had a lot of reasons to think that September 11th was the day I got pregnant but I was wrong. I got pregnant in August and did not even notice until the end of September. It is actually been kind of upsetting to me that I was pregnant for a month and did not know.

My friend Fay asked me last night if I was losing interest in this blog and I said I was because of the problems with some of the comments. This got started just because I wanted a place to write some things and it became more than that to some people. I don't take myself as seriously as some of you do! I hate to say it but if you want to call my blog confusing and all and then go read my blog like one of those guys who lives for Star Trek that is up to you. I have a life. You should too and you should know this is just a blog and it is not like what I say makes any difference in the world.

There are things I would really like to write right now but I guess it won't be on here because it might get twisted around to mean something else.

Whatever I guess.

I do hope you all have a nice Thanksgiving if I don't get a chance to write to you or see you on chat.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The NEWS

I went to the OB yesterday and IT'S TWINS!!!!!!!!

She says I am now about 14 weeks with twin girls! Everything is fine and she did a blood test and says everything is fine there too. She also said part of why I show so much is just because thin people show a lot when they get pregnant. I am now going to be going in every two weeks to be checked to make sure everything is good. I can't even begin to tell you how exciting and scary this is! Shari said that I will get to give birth a second time without having the second pregnancy! OMG THAT is scary!

Time for me to go to school but I wanted to get this out here. I will try to post the ultrasound picture later on if we can get the scanner to work.

YAY!!!!

Twins! (-:

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Up late

It's almost midnight and I am up. Emmy was fussing and I had her tonight so Steve and Christie could work on having another baby. Shari has me going in to see the OB on Monday because she is worried about my baby and says that I am showing too much too soon for just two months. She had the same thing and is worried I might have toxemia starting. I feel fine so I am not so sure but will go to the OB anyway.

A good friend of mine has me worried too so I am doing some praying for her.

I wish I knew what else to say right now but that's it. And I am sorry I don't have a happy thing to say to close my post.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Almost two months

I'm almost two months along and it is kind of nice. The best part of being pregnant is it put an end to all my anxiety about getting pregnant or not. It's all decided now and it's easy to just relax and enjoy who I am and my family and the idea of being a mom soon. I still have not really had any morning sickness. I've felt yucky a few times but was never so bad I was going to puke or so bad I was not going to eat!
Sex is a lot better. Before it was always worrying about what could happen and now that it happened it's really easy to just enjoy being with Steve. I noticed he is a lot more relaxed about being with me now and Christie says she had the same experience with him. Once he got her pregnant he was pretty comfortable with the idea that she was serious about staying with the family and I guess the same goes for me too.

One of my friends online is getting involved with a poly family but not in my church. They are more like their own thing. It makes me happy that she's found a great family because she is a great person and the only thing I am sad about is it would have been noce to have her be a 4th in our family. Back when she was open to that idea Shari was dead set that 3 was enough and then Macy came along and now Shari is considering letting Macy join us sometime. Macy says God's timing is up to God and not to us so don't worry about the 'what if' things because we don't control them. If I had my way Steve would probably have to marry all my friends! I guess I just love having a lot of people around anymore.

School is going really good. On Friday I had my exams and got A's on both of them and it was not easy. I have to study a lot and I've been cooking a lot more at home because one of my classes was on preparing meats and I had to do an original recipe. I did pork loin cutlets stuffed with blue cheese and then baked with lingonberry sauce on them to help keep them moist. They came out really great and got me my A.

Christie and Steve are trying for another baby and she is pretty happy most days. It's so funny you can tell when a woman has had a great sex night once you know what you are looking for. One of the girls in my class came in all smiley one day and I asked her if she was happy from sex and she was blown away that I could tell. I'm also seeing other pregnant women because it seems we all do a lot of the same things like always holding our tummy. It's weird you just can't stop thinking about the baby and you always want to hold yourself there.

One thing that came up is my blog is being mentioned by people who are following the FLDS trial and it is been mentioned a few times. I don't get why these people are so interested in what someone else is doing with their life? Why is it so important to them that poly people be put in jail? How are we a threat to them I wonder?

The elections this week were sort of funny to me. Before the election the reporters were saying how this was so important because it would say what people thought of Obama and then after the election the same reporters were saying it didn't really matter. I am thinking that those elections will mean the end of Obama's health care plan and that he won't talk about gays in the military anymore.

I am wondering if the country saying no to these things will mean that people will get more serious about going after poly people? I don't know but it does worry me a little.

Time for me to go check my email.

Cuddled up by a fire with someone you love.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Where have I been?



I haven't been on here in a while because I have had some serious studying to do and I also have been spending more time with my family than on the computer.

The best thing that happened was I got to go with Steve to do a bid in Monterey on the 16th and we stayed the weekend. It was the first time we got to go do a trip together and we had a wonderful time! We drove through San Francisco because Steve had to pick up some plans and then we stopped in Moss Landing and had lunch. The food was really good but the fried stuff made me kind of sick and I don't think I will eat so much fried stuff anymore.
We stayed in Pacific Grove at a really romantic B&B and it was just great. Steve did his business stuff on the 16th so we had the weekend to ourselves and on Saturday I saw the Monterey Bay Aquarium with him and that was pretty cool. I had never seen a white shark before and the otters were really cute! On Sunday Steve played golf and I walked around Carmel for a while. It is a cute town but everything is soooooo expensive! This one place had a sweater that cost $650!!! The picture up on the top of this page is from Pacific Grove and I took it with Steve's nice work camera. I think that was on the Saturday. It was a little hard to come home after being just me and him for the weekend but it was nice to get back to everyone too but it was even nicer to have a romantic time with Steve.

Stevie (Stephanie) is doing good and this last Saturday we were over to help paint and to hang curtains. We had a nice time and Stevie made lunch for everyone. She is seriously enjoying being married and she really loves her husband. It is kind of cute to see her get all mushy with him. (-:

Macy is really doing well and is just being a part of the family. Lauren is teaching Macy to ride the horses and Macy is liking it a lot. Shari is teaching Macy how to quilt and the two of them are becoming really good friends.

School is going good for me but we are doing chemistry right now and that has made me not be on here because I just don't have the time. I didn't think cooking school would be so hard but it is.

The baby is doing pretty good but I am starting to feel a little icky every now and then. Like in Moss Landing with the fried food. It tasted really good but after an hour I was feeling not so good. Some mornings are worse than others but it is still not as bad as what some people tell me about. The worst thing right now is my boobs are sore about all the time and Christie says she had the same thing so it is just normal I guess.

The best news is we have not had any drama lately so it has been just really peaceful.

Before I forget, a local newspaper had a story about some people not far from here who are in a 'Quiver full' church and they have babies all the time because of a verse in the Bible that talks about men having sons. Steve says we are not like that because that church is 100% patriarchal and he says we are a lot more about men having responsibilities and obligations than about men being the king of their house. Basically we do a lot of the same things those people do but not for the same reasons.

It is time for me to get going to school and I really wish I could just stay home and be on chat with a lot of you! I really miss all of you! )-:

Have a great day and everyone smile at someone today! (-:

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Comments and stuff

Because of the bad weather yesterday my morning class got cancelled so here I am.

That was a lot of comments yesterday and I will try to get to them all and I am sorry if I miss any, okay?

Donald asked who was the head of our church and I did laugh! Pastor Jeff does a lot to make sure that no one thinks he is in charge or anything. He says his job is mostly helping people who need and ask for help and the rest of the time he tries to mind his own business. Being a pastor is a part time job for him and he has another job to do which is nothing to do with church. I asked Steve about all this once and he said not a lot changes in the church so it doesn't need a bunch of committees and all and then each of the three big congregations make up their own ideas on finances for the church funds. Our congregation has enough money put aside to take care of everyone in the church for about a year and Christie told me once that the goal is to have enough money to buy everyone a new home if they need it. Eventually they want the fund to be able to pay everyone some money every month to help them out.

Steady mentioned that the church controls the lives of the members and that is true that it does. But I don't think that is a bad thing and I don't think the kind of things the church controls makes it a cult because the church wants you to do things to make your life better and not to do things to do anything for the church. Like when a couple gets married the church wants them to be free of debt except for a mortgage on a house and then you have to have a house to get married. They don't want you having kids in an apartment and then taking more time to get a house. Then when a couple wants a second wife they have to be totally debt free and most of the families in our church are couples only because of this. Steve, Shari, and Christie were able to do this because when they sold their homes they had enough to put it together to buy this place and make it debt free. I asked Pastor Jeff about this once and he said they do this to make sure that money is not a reason for any family problems.
The marrying fast thing is done with second wives and third wives. They mostly do this to sort out the serious people from the people who are not serious. Like when I came here it was pretty clear that if I stayed I was expected to be married to Steve or go home in a month so I didn't cause any trouble in the house. I mean you can cause trouble just by being there and not being married. Imagine a family where they basically have a second or third wife who refuses to act like a wife and just her being there can cause trouble. So if you want to do this you do it. Like jumping out of an airplane you don't put on a parachute and then fly up in a plane and then stand in the door and look at the view? If you do all that you have to do the rest of it or go home.
You have to be married after about a month if you want to do this but they do let you put off your wedding night for a while if you want. I wanted to have a real wedding night so I went ahead and did that and I will say now if I was doing it over again I would have waited a while. But that was my choice to do it right away.

Fallen Star asked about Macy and the rules don't apply to her because she is not here to get married to Steve. She is here to get her head together and have some peace and she is doing that. She and Steve keep a lot of distance and also Shari does not want a 4th wife. I am starting to really like having Macy here and would like her to stay but that is just me being selfish and I have to think that other people have to have a say in this too and I need to respect them.

CM asked about the money and property things in the church. Basically everyone has an equal share in the money and property of their family and if they decide to leave they get to have that share to get them started again some where else. People who leave are not forbidden to visit or have friends here and they get to take what is theirs when they go and that is fair. If you don't like this then no one wants to force you to stay and you will find that a lot of people will come help you leave if that is what it means to make you happy. They really are a lot of great people!
About the children I noticed right away that most of the kids will go to college and then start lives away from the church and a lot of them end up in other churches and no one bugs them about it. Like Stephanie got married and is staying in the church but her sister Lauren seriously wants to be a doctor and we are planning on that for her and it means she will be gone to medical school and all for like 12 years and she will probably not live like this.
I LOL'd on the thing about talking about church doctrine! We do it all the time! We don't really have some serious set of rules that says you have to do more than just believe in Jesus really. The big rules are about making sure you take care of your family and the stuff about what you believe is mostly up to you and we talk about it a lot. Christie told me she asked Pastor Jeff about 'organized religion' one time and he laughed and asked her to tell him when she found one because everyone in any real religion has to have their own ideas or then what they believe is not true in their heart. Like we have no rules about evolution. You can think what you want about it and people argue about it but no one gets kicked out of the church if they say the earth is billions of years old and not just a few thousand years old.
Pastor Jeff told me before I got married that the way we live is a life that leads us to God but that discovering and accepting God is something everyone has to do on their own. So there are big rules about how we live but not a lot of rules about how we believe.

Una mentioned the secrecy but that is to protect us really. When I first came here I made the mistake of sharing too much information to someone and ended up with a stalker coming here to the house to try to "rescue" me. It was pretty scary and since then I am very careful not to say too much so we don't have to worry about that.

Sort of on that topic is I get a LOT of people wanting to come visit and take pictures or do documentaries and we even had a TV network want to do a reality show on us and the answer is always no. The sheriff's department up here knows about us and leaves us alone but if we made a big deal and went on TV we'd be daring some social worker to come here and take the kids away and investigate us and after what happened to the people in Texas we know to keep to ourselves. Maybe someday we can be less about the secrets but for right now that is how it has to be.

About Donalds last comment we don't have anyone ruling our church. It's basically three congregations with their own pastors and a few small congregations with lay leaders and then a separate finance committee that the pastors and lay leaders are not allowed to be on. The church started as a commune a long time ago and everyone I ever talk to says it is still like a commune in a lot of ways. The people in Oregon actually all live on the original commune and everyone else mostly lives in their own houses in different areas.

To end this I asked Christie about some of this as I was writing and she said we are not a cult. She says when you want to leave what cult has people come help you get your stuff together, helps you move out, helps you find a place, and then gives you money to help you get started? So I don't think this is a cult.

I hope you all have a great day!

Penne in pesto with fermented garlic and mussels

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Rainy day

It is supposed to be a pretty bad day here for rain today and we already have some wind going on. It will be slow getting to school and I wish I was staying home. Steve is home today because the rain stopped his construction work and that makes me REALLY wish I was home.

Things are going pretty good. I'm a little sore in the boobs right now and that is supposed to be normal. No morning sickness so far and that is really good! Yay!

Macy is doing a lot better. It is hard to explain how she is doing better it is just something you kind of know if you know her.

I have to go real soon but I did want to ask a question. One of my friends mentioned someone thought my church was a cult. Is this something anyone else thinks? I am just curious because I can try to write about it if I need to.

Sorry I have not been on here a lot. There has been so much homework and then at home I have been spending a lot more time with my family than with my computer esp with the baby on the way. The part about the baby on the way is so cool!!!! Yesterday morning I sat in bed before I got up and just went WOW! that I have a whole another person inside me! I can't wait to meet him/her!

I hope you all have a safe and warm day!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Yay!

Thank you everyone for being so nice! Everyone here is being really nice too. On Sunday we had our church meeting and I got to announce that we have a baby on the way and it was like being a rock star! I really love the people in my church and my family and I have no doubt I made the right choice being here.

The OB wants to see me in December to do an ultrasound and probably find out if I am having a boy or a girl. A boy would be nice for Eric and Steve but a girl would be a lot of fun too. My baby will be what he or she wants to be and I will love her all the same.

School. The doctor says I will be due in late May or early June and school is supposed to finish in April so that won't be a problem.

I have to cut down on chores and am not supposed to lift anything more than ten pounds so I am trading some chores with the girls so I can still do things around here and help out and not just be a big pregnant balloon floating around the house.

Macy is doing really well. She is settling in and being a part of the family and that is a good thing for her to do that and get over stuff. She still is not staying with us permanently but it is nice to have her here for now.

My friend Erica who is not in my church but is also poly has met a great family and she visited with them and it worked out great! I am really, really happy for her because she is a great friend and a really sweet person! She deserves to be happy and she told me her visit with her potential family was the best! I am praying that it all works out for her.

I am sorry I have not been on here that much this last week but things are really busy and I was not able to get my computer to work. My stupid internet explorer was set to work offline and I did not know that. I thought my puter was broken and just gave up. Macy got on it and got it working no problem and that made me feel pretty blonde. :-/

It is time for me to get going to school. I hope you all have a great day!

Little baby feet.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

I am pregnant!

For real! I found out last night after checking with a test. I was about a week overdue for my period so it was time to check and YAY!!! There is a little person inside me!!

My family is way happy about this and there were a lot of hugs and kisses last night after the test came out positive. Steve is off the hook happy and is not saying it but I know he is hoping for a boy. I am calling my mom today to tell her and that should be fun. I have a lot to do today but I wanted to get this posted here!

I'm pregnant!!!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Sad news

My friend Macy has ended her marriage to Peter and Lisa and is living with us for now. That does NOT mean she will be a 4th wife in this house it just means she is staying here because we have room and because we care about her.
I seriously do not know everything that happened but I do know she was really upset by what happened and she was really happy to be moving in here. Pastor Jeff helped her move out so I know he supported her decision to leave so she must have had a good reason. Maybe she will tell me all about it some time but right now I am just happy to see her having some peace.
Shari told me she has seen it in the past where someone joins a family and then decides that they made a bad decision and decided to leave so this is not something all that new. It does make me see why people were really worried about me staying here. I guess you just don't know if it will work out until you try it.

School is going along just fine. I am doing a catering job with some friends on Saturday so that should be fun. It is a wedding at a country club. I wish I could say I was doing something really cool but all I will be doing is finishing plates before they are served and that just means adding garnish and sauce and cleaning the edges if they need it. It is still fun to do something different and to get to go to a country club.

It is officially fall now but it is still in the 100's here and it would be nice if the weather would cool down. It will be nice to have it cool in the house and the yard.

The chickens are doing great and are making enough eggs that the egg business is now making money! A organic slow food group buys my eggs for $3 a dozen and they buy any eggs I give them. It is pretty cool to think the chickens support themselves!

Hate to say but I have to go. It is really busy on the road with school back in and so I have to leave earlier anymore to get to school myself.

Welcome to Fall!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Answers

I think I remember reading that you first made contact with your married family online, correct? Could you say something about how you first started thinking about a plural family as a way of life, before you actually met your Steve-Shari-Christie family?

I did meet my family online. I had joined a poly family site and Christie was the first to send me a invitation to come visit and she was only 40 miles away so I did. I started thinking about having a baby first before I started thinking about poly and I guess I am not so into the idea of being a working mom so I wanted to be a stay at home mom. When the FLDS people got raided and I heard all about them and then saw them in interviews I decided I liked the idea of poly because it meant a woman was not alone in the house with her husband but she had friends built in to the deal and I started reading about it. I got my computer last Christmas and started looking up stuff on line and found some poly sites and now I am just active on one of them mostly because I don't have time anymore to do a lot on the web.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Six month anniversary!

Today makes six months of marriage for me! Wow! I'm half way to my first anniversary! Yay!

I don't have a lot of time before school so Molly had a question:

What do the girls call you and Christie, since you are not their biological mother? Do they still call you mom, or do they call you Megan? Do you think the younger children will call you mom when they grow up a little?

The older girls just call me Megan and Eric calls me 'Momma' but then he calls Christie and Shari 'Mommy'. That was something Christie noticed.

I could have had the older girls call me 'Ma'am' but it didn't feel right to me so I just said to call me Megan and it worked out just fine to me.

Any thing else?

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Finally a cool day!

It's raining a little here today and they say thunderstorms will happen later. Yay! I am so happy to have a cool day finally. I ended up sleeping in late because it was so dark because of the clouds this morning. It was so nice.

School is going pretty good and so are my chickens. Lauren mostly took over taking care of my chickens for now because of school and that is a big help.

Stevie is one week into married life now and says she is loving it. She will be over for dinner with her husband tonight and it will be really nice to see them. We haven't seen them since they got back from their honeymoon trip so this will be nice.

One of my emails asked me if I was taking questions anymore and I guess I will. So if you have anything you want to know then go ahead and ask.

I'll check in later but right now I want to be outside!

Have a nice weekend!

Cuddling on a rainy morning!

Monday, September 7, 2009

Labor Day!

Happy Labor Day! I hope everyone is enjoying their day off! I know I am!

I will start with a comment from my last post:

Megan, I love that you're continuing your education and that you'll be able to help support your family as well as use your skills & interests. I'm wondering, will Stevie be going back to school (I'm assuming she hasn't graduated from high school yet)? And does she have any plans to develop her marketable skills outside the home?

I am doing cooking school mostly because I don't know how to cook and I want to be good at it for my family. Catering might be something I will do but I am not wanting to do any restaurant jobs.

Stevie has her home school diploma and not a GED. Her plan is to be a wife and a mom and to have a big family and to be there for them. She is pretty set on this and when I saw her at church yesterday she looked the happiest I have ever seen her so I am thinking this is a good thing for her. It's not like she didn't have a choice. Lauren is the middle girl in the family and she wants to be a doctor and she has the grades to do it and everyone will help support her when the time comes. We are not like some groups that raise girls to be poly and the girls all have choices and Stevie chose this and her husband is happy about it because that is what he wanted too. As long as they are happy I will be happy for them.

Here is an easy basic recipe I did for church yesterday and you just make it as big as you want for your family or party.

Fancy Mashed Potatoes

5 pounds potatoes, peeled and boiled until soft.
4 cups half and half
1/4 cup olive oil
8 cloves of garlic, minced
1 head of cabbage cut into 1/4 inch wide strips about 1/2 inch long
3 onions minced
1 teaspoon oregano
Salt to taste or use none at all.

Sautee the onions, oregano, and garlic in the olive oil at a medium heat for about 2 minutes until they just start to brown. Put them in a mixing bowl.

Boil the cabbage for 3-4 minutes and remove it from the water as soon as it is a little soft. Do not cook it until is completely soft. It needs to be a little crispy. You can boil the cabbage with rosemary or bay leaves but if you use bay leaves remove them from the cabbage when you are done boiling.

Mash the potatoes with the half and half and mix them until they are smooth. Now gently stir in the cabbage and onions & garlic.

If you want to be really cool use a cooking torch to lightly brown and crisp the top of the mashed potatoes after you put them on the plate. Sprinkle with melted butter.

This is really good with beef and salmon but if you serve it with pork or a white fish then use only 1 clove of garlic for every 5 pounds of potatoes so the flavor of the meat is not overpowered by the garlic.


The weather here is finally starting to cool off but they say we will have 100's again this week. Yuck. I am so tired of the heat! I really can't wait for some cool weather. We have this beautiful fire place and it will be nice to have everyone around the fireplace on a cold night.

Pastor Jeff gave a really great sermon yesterday on why the Bible doesn't have any new parts to it. I didn't know that the Old Testament was old when Jesus was born and that the Jews thought it was done back then. So no one added to the Old Testament and then Jesus came along and the New Testament is supposed to be limited to things that were written from the time of Jesus and anything written after his time is not included.

Something else I never thought of is that the New Testament might be about Jesus but nothing in it was written by Jesus. It is all other people who wrote about him who are in the New Testament and Pastor Jeff said this makes the New Testament unique among different holy books because Jesus never wrote about himself and let other people write things down as witnesses to what he did. After church I said to Pastor Jeff that Jesus probably wrote letters to his family and to the Apostles and would it upset things if a letter written by Jesus were found someday? He said it would be something really important to read a letter written by Jesus even if it were just a letter to his parents. I think it would be nice to know what Jesus thought about things and to see it in his own words.

It is a little quieter in the house without Stevie and all the excitement of the wedding being over. Shari is a little quiet and I think she misses Stevie a lot more than she is saying. Steve is being Steve and Saturday night said me and Christie have to get busy filling up Stevie's empty room. Christie is back to trying to have a baby and I am sure I wrote this before but it is making her a lot happier. She is back to being herself after losing the baby earlier this year and trying to have another baby is doing something good for her.

It is a really beautiful day today so I am going to go out and do some stuff in the garden. I hope you all have a nice day!

Cuddling under a fluffy quilt on a cold night.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Wedding Day!

Just a quick note. Stevie's wedding went great! There were about 110 people and it was lots of fun. It started at 11am and was over at about 11:30 and then we had the reception here. It's 5pm now and most everyone is gone. Steve and Shari are out visiting with some friends still but everything is cleaned up and you would almost never know there was such a big deal here just a few hours ago.

I hope everyone is having a nice weekend!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Stayed home today

Christie and Shari and the girls went to go see the King Tut thing in San Francisco today and that meant I had a chance to be home alone so I called in and took the day off from school. I told Christie and Shari and Steve first and they were okay with it. Steve says he will come by to see me around lunch time, too. Yay!

It is cooler today and I am doing the shorts and tank top since no one is around. It is nice to just have the house so quiet sometimes. Shari made an apple strudel and I am having some with some coffee and sitting in the kitchen with the windows open. It is so nice to feel the cool air. I love fall and winter and they are my favorite seasons. The cool air and the smell of fireplaces and good cooking is something that makes me just feel so peaceful. Spring comes along and I love the flowers but it means that people are starting to get busy for the summer and then summer comes along and it is hot and noisy. So fall and winter are my favorite times.

This will be my first fall and winter here. I am looking forward to it and I am starting to plan for Christmas and Thanksgiving. It will be nice to be able to do some of the cooking and to do it really good.

Shari is letting up on the dress code a bit. She says she will be okay with us wearing sweats around the house when the weather gets cold and I am liking that. Sweats and pajamas are my favorite things to wear just because I love being all cuddly especially when it is cold. That is so weird I know that I love cold weather but the part I love the most is being warm when it is cold!

My private blog is REALLY private! I can't read it!! I had to use Firefox to see it because internet Explorer won't let me see what I wrote. It is something with cookies but Firefox doesn't have that problem so I guess I will just use Firefox more.

One of the people on this blog says she sent $200 to Jaycee Dugard and that is really great! Thank you!

They are going to tear down that house she was in and that is a good thing. Places like that are just evil and they will just bring evil people by to see them. It is best to tear it down and build something new there or maybe just leave it empty for a few years to let the memories die.

I looked at that house on Google maps and the scary thing is the pictures show the creep driving behind the Google camera car that took the street view pictures!! One of the people at school talked about it and it creeped me out when I saw it.

What makes me feel so bad about Jaycee is that this could have happened to anyone. She didn't do anything to deserve that she was just going to school and this evil bastard stole her and did what he did. We're suppose to forgive people for things like this but I guess I would feel better forgiving him after he was dead. As long as he is alive he will be dangerous and there is no cure for evil like what he has.

That makes me think of something. I moved here and really had not a lot to do with the world and now with school am I sort of back in it and halfway not in it. It is like I have two lives now. One at home and one at school. At school I am hearing music and news you don't hear about at home and I am sort of happy to be involved in it but then it takes away from my peace because these things are on my mind.

Shari says we can hear too much news sometimes and maybe that is right. Maybe when school is over and I settle back into my home life things will be more peaceful.

I am going to go play with my chickens now and maybe will write some more later on.

Apple strudel and coffee!

Birthday week

This week I turn 19. It's pretty amazing how many changes took place for me in the last year. A year ago if you had told me I would be living the life I am living I would have laughed in your face. Not really, but I would have thought you were crazy!

This time last year I was starting classes in community college and having a hard time with them and then dealing with things at home with my mom. Dating was totally off for me because that would mean bringing home a boy to meet my mom and to be honest I really didn't like any of the boys I met. The ones I met at school were not so great and they were not serious about anything but then they all wanted to do serious things with me. I just don't get that.

So a awful lot changed in one year! LOL!

I got my books for my next series of classes and it looks like a lot of fun. We will be doing pasta, rice, risotto, and a lot of other grain dishes and then we also will get to start on desserts! Yay! I will gain so much weight!

It is time to go so you all have a nice day!

The first morning of September

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Private blog

So I went ahead and did a private blog. It is kind of a relief because there are things I want to write about that I don't want to be bitched at for writing about. I haven't put anything much on it yet but when I have some time I will. I will still write here about the things I always write about but the new blog will be for the things I can't write about on here.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

August 29, 2009

It was a long week with a lot going on.


School is going really good. I am making some nice friends at school and last night I worked at a party that one of them was catering. It was a lot of fun and it is something that I'll probably do again sometime.

Christie is trying for a baby again and has been with Steve again and in a way I don't mind because I am wanting to spend more time studying lately. She's really just happy to be loved and it is not so much about the baby thing this time or at least right now. I am not sure how to say this right but it is sort of nice to be close enough to Christie to know that she needed time with Steve and then to see her feel better after and know what I was thinking was right makes me feel good. It's nice to be that close to someone.

Stevie is excited and scared and happy about her wedding next week and I think she is a little crazy that there is nothing to do right now. We are all set to go with everything. The county signed off on her marriage certificate so the legal part is done and the only thing left is the wedding. Her wedding dress is REALLY pretty! Her fiance is taking two weeks off from work for their honeymoon and they will be going to a romantic bed and breakfast in Monterey for three days and then coming home. I'm really excited for her and especially because she and her fiance are so in love! It's really cute to see them together.

Shari is a little sad to see the first of her daughters move out. Lauren is next to go in a few years but she will be going to college. Lauren is getting really serious about wanting to be a doctor and she is really smart so she will probably do really good at it.

The chickens are laying eggs. They started laying a little in the last couple weeks but now they are all going at it and we are getting about 4 dozen a day. It is a lot of eggs and I am selling the extra eggs to the neighbors for now. There is a 'slow food' thing in Roseville that wants organic free range eggs and I am going to be selling the eggs at their place starting next month. They say they will sell them for $4 per dozen and pay me $3 per dozen. At least that will start paying for the chicken feed. The chickens are all on lay crumble now and it comes in 50 pound bags.

Macy is doing better. She is who I was asking prayer for. She was having this "OMG WTF did I do?" thing going on and we let her stay with us for a couple nights before she went back home. Her family is being really good about it and some of the problem is Macy is pretty messed up from her old life and that makes her like a lot of people here so she fits in just fine. I think she will be okay.

The new about Jaycee Dugard was something! It is so stinking scary that something like that could happen for 18 years and only one other time did anyone notice it. I am so praying for her and we sent a check to help her and her daughters and her family.

I hope you all don't mind but I am asking that anyone who can spare some money would send a check to help.

Jaycee Dugard Trust Fund
C/O View Tech Financial Services
P.O. Box 596
Atwood, CA 92811

The man who did this thing sounds so crazy. It is sad that he wasn't crazier so he would have got caught sooner.

I wish there was more I could do.

It is hot and I am thinking it is time to go for a swim. I bought some sunscreen for swimming and Steve is not so happy about it because it put a film on the water in the pool that he had to skim off. So I will just swim for a while and come back in and then maybe go swimming again later tonight.

That is it for right now.

Vanilla ice cream, rum infused blueberry sauce, and a sprig of mint.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Private blog?

I'm thinking of adding a private blog where I can write about things I know will just cause problems on my main blog. Does anyone else do this keeping two blogs?

I'm going to school in a minute but wanted to post some things.

I don't have any recipes for anything other than bread and sauce yet but I will post some when I have them, I promise!

I need a little prayer for a situation with a friend. I can't say too much more than that but it is important.

Thanks!

Blueberry muffins.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Friday!

Yay! It's Friday!

We sort of got out early from class today but we have homework so I have some cooking to do later on.

Things are pretty normal here and I think it is a blessing. Christie got the okay from the doctor to try for a baby again and she has been doing that. Emmy is on the bottle and soft food and that helped a lot with Christie.

I noticed the nasty comments stopped on the blog so I am trying it again without the moderation. I am crossing my fingers that this turns out okay. It can always be turned on again if it is needed.

Macy is very happy with her new family and I am also kind of happy that I have a new friend. She has been nice company a lot of times and having her just a few miles away is kind of nice.

The planning for Stevie's wedding is done. Yay! We are doing the wedding here and the ceremony will be out on the lawn. I think it will be a nice time.

Steve lost a bid for a job he was wanting to do for October and so right now it looks like he might not be working that month. I am sort of happy he will be home and have some time off but I know it bothers him we won't have the money from the job.

I need to stop there and go do some chores I need to do.

Hope you all have a nice weekend!

Peace.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Cooking!

I am discovering that I love to cook! I never really talked about cooking on here because my cooking was really, really bad. It is weird how you learn all these things that don't seem like they matter and then you are cooking and you remember them and you're all like "YEAH!" and it all makes sense.

On Monday we started with sauces and I know this sounds stupid but I never thought of apple sauce as a sauce! LOL! We got to learn all sorts of different apple sauces and tonight I am going to do an apple sauce with carmelized apples over vanilla ice cream for a dessert.

We will be on sauces in the mornings for two more weeks and in the afternoons we are doing a class on food cost and it is not that boring really.

Things at home are pretty good and just normal for a change. Nothing is really exciting and that is kind of good. Steve is talking about the weather for December to April and how he is off most of the time in those months and I am looking forward to that.

Macy is doing fine with her family and telling me things that I was telling people a few months ago and it is weird to be the one who knows what is going on for a change.

It is about 80 out right now and it is kind of nice to see the summer start to turn into fall. Some of our trees are already dropping leaves. The apples are looking pretty good and should be okay in a month or so.

The comment moderation really cut the number of comments down and for right now I don't mind. It is nice to come on here and it is just peaceful.

That is all for now. I hope your night is as good as mine looks like it will be!

Red and yellow in the leaves promising a new season ahead.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

A couple of good questions

Emily asked about what if I wasn't able to have children and part of my being here was a trip to the OB-GYN who checked me out for fertility, STDs, and just to see if I was healthy. Sooner or later I'll be having children.
But if I was not able to have kids then I would not have been with this family. Shari is very set that she wants more children in the house so my being able to have kids is a big deal. I'm okay with that because I want to have kids anyway.

FallenStar had a great comment that is really worth its own post.

FallenStar said...
Megan, I for one am a bit disappointed in what you said about not loving Steve before you married him. I may be old fashion or have different beliefs, But I think that Marriage and Love go together. I think it is hurtful for anyone to marry someone without loving them first. This is a big reason my husband and I currently do not have a sister-wife, since our last breakup. We have met a few woman that we like and everything clicks, but when the big question is asked She said she doesn't love us yet, but wants to marry us and let the love grow. We refuse the marriage and instead opt. to date and let the love grow. The women then say never mind and leave.

Does Steve and your sister-wives know that you didn't love Steve when you married him? What would you of done, if now five months later you still didn't love him? What if you two had a baby together and you still didn't love him?

I am glad that you do Love him now and that is what counts, but a bit disappointed that you didn't at first. But overall, I am glad that things have worked out for you and that the love is there now.




This really was something that was a very big concern to me back in February and March before (and after) the wedding. I liked Steve and I liked the family but I wasn't all mushy in love with them. But this is the way they do things.

I had asked Pastor Jeff why the big rush on getting married and why not let people love each other first and he said that one problem with poly families is trust and trust is most important than love. He said you can have trust and not love but love without trust won't last very long at all. My marrying Steve and the family was a way for me to say I trust them and them letting me marry into the family said they trusted me. Everyone makes a big deal about the risk I took doing this but they don't see the big risk the family took doing this.

If I leave here I have a right to ask for 25% of the value of everything in the family trust to take with me. That's their big risk in letting me join the family so it goes both ways. The big thing then at the start is everyone saying they trust each other and then you build on that. I never really trusted anyone before and I had really good reasons for that and to think that these people risked their home and everything that I would work out as part of the family is pretty awesome.

It sounds weird, but if someone trusts you with everything they have it becomes easy to start loving them because you already know you all trust each other.

One of my emails a few months ago was from a woman in Canada who went to India when she was 16 and her family had her marry this guy she did not know. Her family had arranged the marriage when she was born and they did not tell her about it until she was in India and being told she was there for her wedding. She said her first month was just awful but then time went by and her husband turned out to be a really good guy. He was a lot older than she would have picked on her own but he was also a good man to her and she eventually loved him. She did not allow her kids to be put in arranged marriages just because they live in Canada and that is not how it is done but she said what I had was like an arranged marriage and she said the way those work is you have to trust your parents to choose a good husband or wife for you and then you learn to love that person.

For me here it has been easy and hard sometimes to learn to love and to let myself open my heart to love this family. Some people commented in the past that this is like a fantasy and too good to be true and don't you all think I see it that way too? I kept waiting to see what they were really like here and kept waiting to see someone yell or scream or fight over something and it never happened. It is still on my mind that I expect things to get ugly but that is just my old life speaking to me and not my new life. I mean like little arguments here never, ever blow up into screaming or anything. It just never happens.

It is a little complicated but I trust them to be who they say they are. And after I started trusting them it just naturally happened that I loved them one day.

With Steve I had only known him just more than a month when we got married and my friend Steady used the word traumatic to describe my wedding night when I talked to her about it. That was a good way to describe it. I think that part would have been a lot easier if I loved Steve first but then it was my decision to make my first time with him on our wedding night so the problems I had were all on me. I'm serious that I was allowed to be married but could have waited for the wedding night if I wanted to. I just had it in my head that I wanted to have as much a traditional wedding as I could so I wanted a wedding night just because it was a thing to do.

When I say the next few things remember this was all my choice and the feelings and problems I had were all things for me to deal with. Steve, Shari, Christie, and everyone was nothing but nice to me and wonderful to me when I married into the family.

I was so not ready to be married! I had no clue what all it meant and I was really selfish in wanting things for myself and not thinking about what it meant to actually have those things. Pastor Jeff said to me one day be careful what you wish for because you might get it. Me marrying Steve was not just about me it was about what I could do to make this family a better family. All I was thinking about was how this was going to make me happy and how I was going to get what I wanted and thinking about what other people needed from me wasnt something I ever stopped to think about. I wished for something and got it but never stopped to think of how what I wanted was going to effect the people around me.

I probably posted this before but I wanted a baby and never stopped to think about that you usually have sex to have a baby. I also never stopped and thought about what you do on your wedding night.

Like I said remember the wedding night was all my choice okay?

When the bedroom door closed and I was alone with Steve and I had said it was okay to let's do something together it was like it was too late to back out. Honestly, at that point I could have said to Steve I needed to wait and he would have because he is that kind of man. Instead I went ahead and let things go and then I decide to change my mind right as things got started and then I got to find out that Steve is a man and a real person and you don't play with that. Then when it came to the time to finish things I realized that I really could be having a baby with Steve and it could happen in the next few seconds and that was scary as hell.

Later on Steve said he knew I was mixed about that first time and said he thought I would be better if we got the first time out of the way and I hate to say it but he was right. I mean it was something I basically wanted but I wanted a baby in a real way and then I was also afraid to take and be serious about what all that meant. Steve just took and got it over with and things got better after that. Way better!

But this all went back to trust. I trusted Steve when I was in bed with him and he trusted me, too. We built on that and one day he told me he loved me and he did it with this look in his eye like he would die if I broke his heart. I was starting to love him but when he said that to me that way it was like my heart just opened up and said YEAH! and I knew I loved him! I love him so much now sometimes it hurts to be away from him. He can come home from work and I will be missing him so much that I just take his hand and off we go! I went from being stupid and scared five months ago with him to now sometimes I want to be with him so bad it is like I don't relax until he is making love to me. I want him as close as he can be to me.

I've had other moments like that with Shari and Christie and the girls and the babies where it just hits me that I love them. I know Shari is a sisterwife but I honestly love her like the mom I wished I had growing up. She is just so motherly to me and everyone and she just does some things for me that have made me cry when I think of them like she will sit next to me sometimes and pet my hair and it just makes me feel really close to her but like a mother-daughter thing.

I have been frustrated with trying to love Shari as a friend and sister and it was one of thise things with me being selfish and not loving her for who she is to me and not for what I want her to be. We talked about it last night and she was straight up saying she just can't help but see me like another daughter and she says it isn't like I don't need to have some things taught to me and I decided to just accept this and her the way it is. Christie is my sisterwife and Shari is my momwife. Okay! :-P I know someday we will be more like sisters but for right now I am okay with this and after thinking about it I kind of like it too.

Christie was easy to love. She is like the rebel sister of the family and she is a lot of fun. We are very close and very much sisterwives and she loves me being in the family because she has sort of the same momwife relationship with Shari that I do. Christie has been the person I get to talk about Steve with and she knows everything I want to talk about and she has been a great person to talk to when I have had bedroom problems or questions or when I want to have a friend I can be a silly girlfriend with.

But all of it is built on trust and it is okay to do that. Trust is like a foundation for love and you can have love without trust but then it is like a house without a foundation.

Fallen Star I am saying the next part to you.

It hurts me a little to think you said no to someone who was honest and trusting you enough to tell you she didn't love you but was willing to let it grow. What if she had lied to you and said she loved you? You would have let her into your family and maybe you would have love but you would not have honesty and trust and what happens when your love is tested and there is no honesty and trust to depend on?

Love is really, really important but when you start out trust is more important. You just look at all the divorces in the world where someone cheats on someone else or does something else stupid that causes a divorce and then you hear the people getting divorced say they still love each other! But what they were missing was trust and without the trust their love didn't really matter and love was not enough to keep them together.

If you think about it trust is a kind of love. You trust someone you love not to break your heart. You trust people you love not to lie to you. But how long can you love someone you don't trust?

I wrote about my Canadian email friend because she learned to love her husband. Most everyone in India gets married in an arranged marriage and that happens that way in most of the world. It works just fine for them and it can work for you too. It is working for me if you think about it.

Fallen Star, I really want to thank you for a really thoughtful comment! I hope my answer explains what you asked about.

A sleepy chicken in your lap in the morning.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Five month anniversary!

It has been five months since I married Steve! I can't believe so much time has gone by! My world is a different and happier place and this turned out to be a great decision.



I will admit that it was not exactly what I wanted at first. I'm just being honest that I did not come here because I loved everyone. Thank you to Steady for asking me about that. I came here I think mostly to get away from my old life and this was the best I could do and not join the Army and that really was something I was thinking of doing.



Once I got to know everyone here I really liked what they had and I wanted it too. I will admit that I was very naive but I will also be straight up that everyone here was very honest with me and nothing was said to me that was not exactly the way it was. Everyone was very honest with me about what was expected from me if I wanted to stay and I accepted it all when they said it. When the words became real I had a lot of problems adjusting to things when I look back at it.



I didn't get into it too much on here after a point because some people just used my misgivings as a way to attack the life I had chosen. There is nothing wrong with this life but it is really, really different and I was struggling with it all. Women who have regular marriages have the same struggles and all of the divorces we see all the time are proof that just because you do it the traditional way does not mean it will work for you. I have only been here five months so it is unfair of me to say that this will work for me. I am hoping it does and it seems to get better all the time but do I know for sure? No, I don't.



It is true that I did not love Steve when we got married but I trusted that things would work out and they did. I can say I really love him now and I learn to love him more all the time. I have different relationships with Christie than I do with Shari and that is because they are not the same person and I had to learn to be fair to them both and not expect them to be the same. I had to learn to be a parent to all the kids even though I am not a lot older than they are and that was a lot harder for me than it was for them.



This choice cost me all of my old friends and that hurt me and helped me to be a part of this here. It hurt me to lose my friends but then because they left me there was a place in my heart for new friends and for a new family.



Steady and a friend from another site got me thinking about why I am here and to be honest with myself here is why:


  • Starting around this time last year I really, really started to want a baby. I mean like so much it hurt not to have a baby. I know that makes me like the totally emotional teenager who wants a baby so she has someone to love and that is 100% true. A couple times I even came close to just having a fling with a guy just so I could get pregnant.

  • I wanted to get away from my family. This was not so important to me as having a baby but it was important to me to get away from my mom's crazyness and to put my father and his problems behind me.

  • When Christie invited me here to visit I honestly came here like on research. I was curious and wanted to see what this was like and then when I saw it and how it made my life at home look I wanted to have this too.

  • Steve, Shari, and Christie all said that a condition of my being part of the family was to have children. I think they half-say this just to scare people off but for me back at the start of the year I was just sort of logical about it and thought that they want me to have a baby and I want to have a baby so my problem with this is what?

And here I am five months later. It has not been perfect for me but 99% of the problems I have had here are all me. Steve, Shari, Christie, and the girls are the most wonderful people and we have normal problems but when we have what I call "We" problems it is mostly something in my heart or in my head that is the problem. Having some really good friends online has really helped me work out some of those problems so they don't get in the way of my happiness here.

Different subject before I stop for lunch...

We had our final last night at school and I am home today. I did okay and got a 91 out of 100 and the teacher gave me an A- for my grade so I am pretty happy about that. I was not on here a lot during the study part of school because it is not easy for me to study. Maybe I might have more time now.

On Monday we start with sauces and that will be every morning until lunch time and then in the afternoon we will start on breads and rolls. The best part is we get to take home everything we bake! Yay! I know it is not free bread and stuff but it feels like it. It will be nice to start learning things I can actually start using at home.

It is now lunch time. I might be on later. Have a nice weekend everyone!

Peace and quiet on a patio with a cool breeze.

Comment moderation

Last night I set the comments to be moderated and tried to set some rules. This morning I was asked to open it up and I did but the very first comment I got was personally insulting to me.

I deleted my post from last night and will moderate all comments from now on.

Someone told me that I had to deal with the real world and that some of the personal insults are just something I have to deal with. But this is my blog and just like my house I don't have to put up with guests who have no respect for me or the other people who post here. If you can't respect that then you know where the door is.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Out early today!

Yay! I got to go home early today and when I got here I was all alone. It's nice to have some quiet time. The teacher for the afternoon had to leave for a doctor appointment so we had the choice to go home or sit in with another class and I went home. There is some reading for me to do later and I will do it. Right now it is nice to sit in the kitchen and have my lunch and have the windows open and just hear the quiet. It was supposed to be around 102 today and right now it is just in the 70's and it is a little cloudy. I might try to do the raisin pudding and brandied lemon sauce and call it studying!

One of the guys at my school is being a pest with trying to get me to go out with him. I told him that I was married and he doesn't seem to care. One of my email friends told me restaurant people can be a little slutty and I guess with some of them that is true. It is helping me get over the idea of working in a restaurant when I graduate. I am thinking I might do catering because that is something I can do from home and it is not a full time job. You just work when there is work to do and the rest of the time I can be with my family.

The morning teacher was asking us about supporting President Obama and his health care thing and he was not so happy when I told him I think people need to take responsibility for themselves instead of asking the government and everyone else to do this for them. I didn't have health care until I came here so I know what it is like and the reason my parents didn't have health care is because my father wanted his drugs more than anything else and then my mom would not spend the money. Who's fault was that? Yeah it sucked to be me but then would it be right for me to say to everyone else to pay for my health care because my parents wanted drugs and a new car more than they cared about something really important? I know I am lucky now to be where I am but Steve and Christie are not lucky because they work really hard to make sure the family has everything we need and it would not be fair for the government to take away what we have just because someone else isn't doing what it takes to have those things too. Pastor Jeff talks about how envy is a sin and this subject really makes the point why it is bad. You hear people slamming on people who they call rich as if they got that way by magic or by winning a lottery. You have to wonder if it would make them feel better if everyone was poor and no one was rich?

Sort of like how some people post on the comments here upset that I am happy. Would it make them feel better if I was not happy? If I was miserable again would that do anything to make their life better? So who cares if someone else is rich because them being rich doesn't make you poor. You make you poor. My father could have had a good job and we could have been a lot happier but he loves drugs more than anyone else so he made us poor and my mom went along with a lot of it.

The teacher did not make me so happy asking the question because I am going to school to learn how to cook and I am not going there to talk about politics. That was something I really hated in high school was all the teachers pushing their politics all the time. I guess I needed to get this out because I felt a little cheated having to have someone tell me about President Obama when I was up late to study something that was supposed to be why I was in class this morning.

Politics is something I never cared for all that much. Arguing about stuff is not my idea of a good time but some people really enjoy it and I guess that is fine for them. I've had enough fighting in life people telling me what to do and having someone try to make me say what they want in class really pissed me off. Like I am supposed to repeat what they want just to make them happy?

Different subject.

An email friend sent me 37 questions that she sent to a lot of people and I like questions so here they are:

1. Do you like Blue cheese dressing? Yes.

2. Have you ever smoked cigarettes? No. I never smoked anything.

3. Do you own a gun? No.

4. What flavor Kool Aid was your favorite? I never tried Kool Aid.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Only the OB-GYN.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? With chili and cheese! Yummy!

7. Favorite Christmas movie? Home Alone.

8 What do you prefer to drink in the morning? I'm starting to like coffee.

9. Can you do push ups? Yes. I can do about thirty before I get tired.

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? My wedding ring.

11. Do you have A.D.D.? No.

13. Do you wear glasses/contacts? No.

14. Middle name? C is my middle name for real. My mom put it on my birth certificate and it was supposed to be Catherine but all it says is C so legally my middle name is just C. I just say it is whatever I want it to be.

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment. I wish Steve were home. I should do some chores. It will be nice to go swimming later.

16. Name 2 or 3 drinks you regularly drink? Water, milk, coffee.

17. Current worry? I want to be pregnant soon so I won't be pregnant next summer.

18. Current hate right now? People who want me to be anything but who I am.

19. Favorite place to be: That's private! (-:

20. How did you bring in the New Year? I got drunk on tequila shooters with Carmen at her house.

21. Name three people who will complete this: Carmen, Marcus, Macy.

22. Do you own slippers? Yes.

24. What color shirt are you wearing? White tee shirt.

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? YES!!

26. Can you whistle? No, I never really tried.

27 Where are you now? At the kitchen table writing on my computer.

28. Would you be a pirate? I could never steal from anyone so no.

29. What songs do you sing in the shower? Baby got back...really! That song is so funny!

30. Favorite girls name? Laurie

31. Favorite boy's name? David

32. What is in your pocket right now? Nothing.

33. Last thing that made you laugh? Seeing one of my chickens running!

35. Worst injury you've ever had? Got hit in the hand with a hoe when I was little.

36. Do you love where you live? Totally!

37. How many TVs do you have in your house? One, in the living room.

Bordelaise sauce over beef Wellington.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Can't wait for Thursday!

I am up late and just got done studying for tomorrow. I will be soooooo happy when the book part of school is mostly done and we can start cooking! On Monday we start with sauces and will do sauces for three weeks. There are all sorts of sauces! I didn't know ketchup was a sauce! It will be pretty cool and I get to start using my pans and that will be fun.

It has been really hot here and I was hiding in the basement where it is cool today to do some studying. Went out later on to get in a little swimming time and then it was back to the books! The studying has slowed things down with Steve at night and it is funny watching him pay more attention to Shari and Christie when he can't be with me. I mean I know it is practical if I have to study that he would spend more time with them but he is looking for more than just company and it is kind of cool to see how they sort these things out.

It has been hot and we lost a chicken. Shari thinks the hen was sort of a runt anyway so the heat just made her die sooner. I know they are supposed to be just farm animals but I really care about them all even if I don't have names for all of them. Burying a chicken is not fun.

Macy is doing really well with her new family and was over with her family tonight to go swimming so we got to talk. She says she is settling in to the house and getting used to things. She's having some trouble adjusting to some married things just because it is so new to her but then she is also enjoying a lot of it too so it all balances out.

September 26th will be the big day for Stevie to get married. She is excited about moving out and having a new life and she is also starting to see this as being something really serious. It is funny-weird to see her grow up so fast. Shari said Stevie's mood after announcing the date was "sober" and it took me a bit to get that one. 'Sober' describes it pretty good.

Speaking of sober, a few more days makes five months of marriage for me. It is hard to believe so much time has gone by! It is also hard to believe how much my life has changed in five months. I found a CD with some picture from last year and this is me with a friend drinking mojitos. I know I look happy there but I was really, really miserable and drinking and partying was my way of trying to be happy except it just made things worse.



That's me on the right.

Looking at that picture and then looking at my life now it is hard to believe I used to be that person. All the wedding talk has got me thinking of my wedding and all that changed after that and all of my old life that stopped on that day. It is hard to put into words but leaving that life was the best thing that ever happened to me and looking back at the Megan from a year ago is like looking back at someone who died and you're remembering her. I don't miss that person and I look at that picture and all I see is the sadness that was in my heart back then.

That is enough for tonight.

Hot brandied lemon sauce on raisin pudding.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Yay for Saturday!

The family is being really cool to me and I am going to have Saturdays as sort of a day off at least until school is done. The homework is not all that bad it is just there is so much of it and you have to do it so you know what is going on in class the next day. I just have one more week of classroom stuff and then we get to start cooking! Yay! I already tried some of the things in my books and they turned out really good.
The best thing was the pork tenderloin. Pork has not been my friend because everytime I cook it the meat comes out dry and tough. This time I used lingonberrry jam and rosemary on top of the tenderloin as I cooked it and then when I turned it I put more of the jam and rosemary on it. It blew me away that the same cut of meat I used to ruin came out perfectly!
I got my set of pots at school. I have NEVER seen so many pots and pans! Four different size frying pans, springform cake pans, like ten different stock pans and this gigantic 20 gallon stock pot. Some Sunday when we host the church meeting I'll be able to feed everyone. I'll get to run a restaurant for a day!
My classmates are a lot of fun. I already got picked up on by one of them and had to tell him that I was married but it was sweet the way he asked. It's almost all guys in the class except for me and this one girl who has a lot of tattoos all over her arms. She used to do roller derby up in Washington with some team called the "Betties" and she moved to California for some reason and is now in school with me. There are some ex-military guys in the class too and they are really cool. I guess I just get how they think because they say everything like it is and you don't have to play games with them to figure out what they mean or anything.
Christie is letting me drive her car to school and it has been funny that she has this really nice car and when people ask me about it I just say it belongs to my sister. Which is not completely true but it is the best and most honest thing I can think of to say.

Macy did really good with the wedding and the wedding night. I saw her the next day at church and she was really happy but dealing with life being changed from now on. That was my big thing way back was the wedding night changing everything in my life. I totally get how new brides are scared on their wedding night because the sex is the very smallest part of it. It's all the committments you are making and then you could be having a baby out of it so it all becomes so serious. Guys don't really get this part of it.
Macy is supposed to be over today to visit and it will be nice to see her and maybe talk a while and see how she is doing. I'm really excited for her that she is with people who really love her.

The weather here has been so cool for the summer. It's been in the 80's all week and the chickens are doing great! The only thing with the cool weather is our vegetables are way off schedule. We're supposed to have tomatoes in for canning and most of them are still green. We do have some pretty awesome spaghetti squash and I am now a big lover of it! You can do a lot with it like cook it in marinara sauce and then put it over pasta.

My period came and went this week so I was a little late and was wondering for a couple days but now I am 100% that I am not pregnant. Christie talked to me a long time ago about this and she went almost six months when she came here before she got pregnant. She said that every month she wasn't pregnant meant there was a new first time with Steve. It would be the first time in the new cycle for you to try making a baby. She said she was always excited about it and for me it is something I get more excited about as time goes by. It is still just a little tiny bit scary that we could be making a baby but then there are all the nice things about making love that I am really enjoying. It gets better all the time as we get to know each other better and I love how Steve knows my moods and changes what he does to fit with what I want.

I came up with my own little thought on married sex: Sex is not what you do with each other it is what you say to each other.

It's a way to say "I love you" and it's a way to say "You're important to me" and that can be so wonderful. This may sound weird but one of my favorite times with Steve was this one time I was not in the mood and he just held me and kissed me for the longest time and then I just did it for him. I wish I had the words to really explain this but it was like he cared so much for me that he wasn't pushy or anything so then it made me want to make him happy too.

I could so write about this all day! I know none of this is new for most of the people who read this but for me it is like a whole new world and I feel like the first person to explore it.

Time for me to stop and go catch up on my email! Have a nice weekend!

The smell of coffee in the morning.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

A quick update

The wedding went pretty good. Macy's brother came to the wedding and I can understand why she didn't want a lot to do with her family. Her brother called himself a 'born again pagan' right after the prayer and then he was asking for beer and making an idiot out of himself. Macy cried after thew wedding thinking everyone was going to be upset with her for the way her brother acted. Sunday at the church meeting she had a lot of people like me telling her that we did not fit with our families and that was a big part of why we had left our old lives behind.
Other than Macy's brother everything was wonderful at the wedding and on Sunday Macy was all smiles at the church meeting. I haven't had a chance to talk to her in private to see how it all went but I am thinking everything is what she wanted.

I lol'd at Demoiselle's comments. I guess 21 is 'barely legal' where she comes from.

Some people just live to find fault with other people and you have to wonder what is so bad in their lives that they have to look at other people and criticize and destroy. Because if they stop and look at themselves they might see the things that need to be fixed in their own life.

It is so weird that a little of the best Biblical advice came from Michael Jackson:

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change


Take a look at yourself and make the change.

I did.

Time for school.

Fresh flowers on your bedside in the morning.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Weekend & wedding

Yay! It is Friday! I love going to the new school but I will be so happy when the book part is done. I know I am not learning anything that is new for most people but a lot of it is new for me. I didn't know that tomatoes are supposed to be treated like raw meat in the kitchen and I didn't know a lot of things about food safety. There is a lot more to learn and I guess it is good I am learning all of this since I cook for the family.

Macy's wedding is tomorrow and I am Maid of Honor which is really cool. She is just having me stand there with her so it is not like it is a big wedding party. Steve is friends with Peter and will be standing there for Peter as Best Man.

Macy is wearing Lisa's wedding dress and it will be a church thing and then the next day we have the monthly Church Sunday and that will be at Pastor Jeff's home. It will be a big party weekend and the nice thing is not a lot of cooking at home and not a lot of kitchen cleaning to do. I love all the time with everyone from the church and it will be fun.

I am just going to stop there because I have a lot to do tonight. Everyone have a nice weekend!

A New York steak, medium, with garlic & carrot mashed potatoes and asparagus spears.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Culinary School

I started culinary school today and it was all classroom stuff today. I have to learn a lot of chemistry and a lot of things like what temperature different oils burn at and what temperature alcohol burns off from food and a lot more stuff. It is funny I don't like class work and that is what we have to do for the next three weeks. We have to learn about food safety and then things like nutrition and portion control. We have to learn about building menus and buying food and supplies and what things you need to make different kinds of menus and more.
There are already four books I have to be reading so tonight I have a lot of homework and I need to be doing it.

I had an email about the Honesty post and all the comments and I am just letting it go. Have fun!

Time for me to go do a lot of reading!

Monday, July 27, 2009

10 more things...

I got tagged again by Mts511 http://hopeloveandlife-mts511.blogspot.com/ so here's 10 more things most people don't know about me.

1. I once worked at a gift shop in Skagway, Alaska for the summer.

2. I went skydiving and my parents never found out.

3. My favorite steak is a New York.

4. I've never smoked a cigarette.

5. Never did any drugs.

6. I love satin anything.

7. I love being in bed with sheets on it that just came out of the dryer.

8. I hate crowds.

9. Never liked any kind of rap music because it is so angry.

10. I never had a computer until last Christmas.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Honest Scrap Tag

CM tagged me from http://cm-justthinking.blogspot.com/ because I wanted to play and CM says: Here's the deal. Tell your readers 10 things about you that they may or may not know, but are true. Tag ten people with the award, and be sure to let them know they've been tagged (a quick comment on their blog will do). Don't forget to link back to the blogger who tagged you.

Because Minty http://polgygynyitis.blogspot.com/ tagged me too I get to write 20 things.

I really wanted something happy to do today so I really appreciate this! Thank you CM & Minty!

1. I get to be a Maid of Honor for the first time next week!

2. Blueberry ice cream is my favorite ice cream of all.

3. Going barefoot in the summer is my favorite part of summer.

4. I had my first kiss when I was 14.

5. I'm 5'10" tall.

6. I love being kissed on the neck.

7. I hate paisley patterns on anything.

8. I have aphasia.

9. My normal temperature is 95.7 to 96.1 and if my temperature is ever 98.5 it means I'm really, really sick.

10. I used to party and drink a lot. I mean A LOT.

11. I never slept with anyone before I moved here and now I love having anyone sleeping in my bed with me and I'm sorry I never did this before when I was growing up.

12. My favorite things to wear are shorts, tank tops, and flip-flops.

13. I flunked English my freshman year of high school.

15. Algebra, too.

16. I didn't go to my high school proms.

17. I didn't vote for Obama.

18. I like Taylor Swift.

19. I never did like Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera.

20. I will do really stupid things for chocolate.

Honesty

I'm writing about honesty today because it is the new topic in comments.

Demoiselle thinks I am a 50 year old pervert luring girls into polygamy. That's part of what is so funny with people who just can't believe I am happy is that they have to come up with an explanation for me so they can feel better about being right. The truth is that for a couple weeks there were a lot of girls emailing me and wanting to check things out and then I sent them to Pastor Jeff who said no to all of them except Macy who was really serious about wanting to be here. For a long time now no one is emailing me so no one is being lured here, okay? Even me when I first came here everyone was trying to get me to leave to make sure I really wanted to stay. They don't want you here if you don't really, really, REALLY want to be here. No one is lured here and it is the other way around that people who come here are not encouraged to stay. Demoiselle if it makes you happy to think what you want then okay. Call me anything you want and I will agree so you can say you won your little game and then you can move on to the next person to trash them and then leave me alone.

ALM, I was really hurt to see what you wrote after you got your answer. No one here runs around quoting the Bible saying "See, we're right!" on polygamy or anything else. I explained in my first posts how this came to be and it really was not started because of anyone believeing anything in the Bible. It just happened and people were happy with it and that is what happened. You asked me for religious reasons why we think this is okay and I got your question answered. By the way most of the families in our church are regular couples with kids and they won't be poly so it isn't something we make people do like maybe the FLDS do. But about the question I don't like that you set me up just so you could be happy about yourself. If I don't answer anymore of your questions in the future this is why.

What is sad is I came on here to write some happy news and now I am just going to save it for another time.

Sorry I don't feel like putting a happy feeling here.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Biblical justification for polygamy

I see this is a big deal so I will answer it. I called Pastor Jeff and asked him if there was a Biblical justification for polygamy and he said the Bible is filled with men who had multiple wives and with men who were instructed by God to take more than one wife. King David, Abraham, King Solomon, Jacob, and more all had multiple wives and so did Moses according to some people.

This part is from Pastor Jeff:

When read in the metaphorical context of the original Aramaic the use of the word 'wife' in the singular tense in Genesis and Deuteronomy denotes the relationship of marriage as being between a man and a woman but not between the women who were the wives of that man. In Aramaic a'aan tat is a wife and in the proper context you have to recognize that there is no plural form of a'aan tat in Aramaic because the relationship was not plural, it was singular between one man and one woman. Yet the man could also have other singular relationships that were not shared with anyone else. To clarify this, in Levitcan law a man could have multiple singular marriage relationships yet if a woman proposed to share a husband's relationship with one of his other wives she was breaking that law by laying with another woman. The sum of this is that the passages some people say are about monogamous marriage are literally about the relationship between a man and a woman not being shared with his other wives or concubines. Therefore, unless a man is a priest or a bishop or a deacon in the church he is not prohibited from having more than one wife.

To me it is simpler that God is okay with it because so many people are happy this way. It isn't perfect and it isn't for everyone I know but it is for some of us and no one should have a right to tell us we can't live this way.

The smell of fresh cut grass.